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watching your partner

posted 5/3/2008 8:19:23 AM |
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i received an email asking me if my man ever watched me with another got me thinking,can this really happen without lasting effects on a relationhip?call me greedy but if i were in love with someone the last thing i would want to do is share let alone watch.don't get me wrong if it's just sex anything goes as long as both people agree but i'm talking relationship.tell me has anyone ever done this and what were the results? my thinking is it would be a bigger issue with men being as most are rather territorial.what are your thoughts on this?

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May 3 @ 8:29AM  
most men are ,but if the young working girl is making money .what the fuck?

May 3 @ 8:32AM  
Yeah, I'd agree, when it comes to feelings, and an actual relationship, are more territorial, did that once, not because I wanted to, but because she wanted to....and to be honest, it hurt like hell, i had to get up and leave before it really even started. Some guys think they can do it, but most end up being dead wrong....the relationship won't last in most cases. The results were she ended up wanting to talk about the other guys she wanted to do, and wanted to discuss it with me afterwards. I told her go be a ho on somebody elses's time, and leave me out of it. She cried and we made up, and she stopped doing it...for 2 weeks....then I just walked out.

May 3 @ 8:40AM  
was the guy a 40 yr old and his name was Barry ?
my wife got the same email....
we just told him its got nothing to do with him and he wasn't gonna find out .

May 3 @ 8:45AM  
Nate: Ouch, I'm sorry you went through that ... but I will agree, I've NOT been with another man, nor have the desire to, but bringing women into our bedroom is fun for me as well as him ... he HAS offered to reciprocate and/or get together with a couple, but - even if he'd be ok with it, I'm not sure "how" I'd feel afterwards ...

- I guess it's a different twist for men than women ... we can be with other women, bring them, share them, and it's cool - it's fun, sexy, hott! But - if there's more than one man, well ..... the woman looks like a tramp ... how sad is that?

Anyway, I've declined any involvement with any other man being with us as in all reality - with another woman in a 3sum .... we'll, there's nothing that can't be done to me then as could be when another man would be there ... besides - 3sums will work, and well - 4 people are a bit crowded.

Sorry to hear she turned into ho though ... that's just wrong.....

May 3 @ 8:47AM  
I 'm greedy .

May 3 @ 8:59AM  
Damn, a blog that makes me think - so early in the morning...good thing I've got some coffee in me!

if i were in love with someone the last thing i would want to do is share let alone watch

I feel the same way. Though I have never been in this situation, but I can say that there's no way I could watch my man with another woman and still call myself loving him, and I would question his love for me if he was okay with sharing me.

That said, that's only for me. I actually do understand how open and poly relationships work, and not only don't have a problem with them for others but could certainly participate in one long as I'm not in love, it's not a problem to watch or be watched.

All that said...there is certainly something to be said for someone who enjoys you well enough that he'd like to "show you off" by allowing another man to sample and envy...I can't deny it would feel great that someone enjoyed me that much :)

Did I even answer the question??? Either way, good blog topic! I hope to see more views!!!

May 3 @ 9:18AM  
I think a man should be very protective of his lady and not use her selfishly.I would want a woman to be protective of me too!

May 3 @ 9:18AM  
I would do it if I was asked to... we are very open and as long as as we are there togeather... I would take pics and watch her enjoy... have a great day...

May 3 @ 9:19AM  
here's some more food for seems that some women don't mind other women but want no part of a 3some with another man.personally i want nothing sexual to do with another woman but have definately wondered about mfm.what are your thought there?

May 3 @ 9:32AM  
I would take pics
Take pics? Did someone mention taking pics? deliciously naughty!

i want nothing sexual to do with another woman but have definately wondered about mfm.what are your thought there
We are SO in tuned today...I was going to blog on this! Yep, I'm the same way! Hope to see what it's like someday, too!


May 3 @ 10:45AM  
Very good blog. Some interesting questons and comments on the subject.

I've no personal experience with this subject but was asked by a hubs once to join him and his wife. He's completely straight as am I, his thing was watching. He got off watching his wife get nailed, then joining in as her thing was two men. I declined his invitation. Two Reasons. I have no wish to nail a wife while being watched. Second, I was not attracted to the wife. I need chemistry, not just a warm body. Have a great day, ALL!

May 3 @ 11:51AM  
Ain't happening. If I love someone, sex with them becomes much more than physical gratification.

If my girl asked me to do such a thing, she wouldn't really be my girl.

Some people aren't as emotional as I am though.

Watching my girl get it from another man would be the same as watching her get hit by a car.

May 3 @ 12:59PM  
my thinking is it would be a bigger issue with men being as most are rather territorial

Men? Territorial? With all due respect, I have seen women that put men to shame when it comes to their territorial behavior about their guy. Trust me, I firmly believe that most women are far more territorial when it comes to relationships and their man then men tend to be about their gals.

That said, in response to your question... I do think if it's in a relationship setting, most of the time it can be a harm to the relationship, for one partner or the other. There are some that have no problem with it, but for the most part someone will start to feel left out. It's sort of like promising to do something for someone if they will do something in exchange. Invariably, one of the people will feel a little short-changed in this "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" arrangement. Someone usually feels as if their back wasn't scratched long enough.


May 3 @ 1:19PM  
Its gotta be about trust if you love her. Do you trust that it is just a fantasy being played out?

I have yet to find a woman that could be trusted enough.

Let the "you suck" emails begin!

May 3 @ 2:04PM  
Well...I don't rightly know if "you suck" emails are better than wanna fuck e-mails...maybe a nice change of pace, but I don't think better. It's very easy to not trust , in these times of once bitten , twice shy, three strikes you're out...till next time, four times, extremely paranoid...five times ...god only knows what...alot of people learn to ration their trust, others just forget about it and move on, and others still end up dwelling on it and doing the same thing to the next person that has the misfortune to try and date's a thing of getting tired of the players and deciding to become one. How people find the trust to go through with something like that, I will probably never know....but in a way, if they can accomplish it, and still stay together , in a successful, loving relationship, my hat is off to them....and believe me...the only thing I take my hat off for anymore is for showers....couldnt get the shampoo or conditioner to go in the little air holes in the side. But I did give up church because they wouldn't let me wear my hat inside the building.

May 3 @ 2:11PM  
This is a very interesting subject. The whole notion of one man and one woman vs all the other options out there. I have gotten as far as understanding an open relationship. where I disclose what relationships I am having, and he is honest about who he is seeing. I can understand and enjoy threesomes. In the mff's I had played in , the other two were clearly the couple and I was the accessory, the add-on, the play thing, the extra mouth and set of tits. Haven;t successfully pulled off an mmf, but would envision one guy would be my partner and that other guy would be the "extra" cock etc. There would be participation, play , physical pleasure for all involved.

The whole watching thing fascinates me, but I can;t quite wrap my brain around it. If I want to watch, there is plenty of porn. I have no need to try to make my partner jealous. Yet I am curious about those that can get past those negative feelings of jealousy. I am curious because it is different.

Cuckholding is fetish unto itself, and like other kinks, it is not everyone's cup of kink. Some get a thrill out of being forced to watch their partner fuck someone else, perhaps it makes their partner seem more desirable to see someone else "desire" them and act on it.

Nate- I too feel for your experience. You gave it a try, but she was pretty insensitive. That deserved a big apology, and maybe some "make-up" sex afterward... not more salt on the wound.

May 3 @ 2:17PM  
sum 1 has 2 hold the video camera

May 3 @ 3:19PM  
The only way it ever gotten taken a step further in my life was with fuck buddies. There used to be some orgies in the seventies but it actually wound up being a contributing factor to some marriages ending in divorce. So if I had a girlfriend or during my marriage, the idea was not brought up as it was not worth the risk.

May 3 @ 4:15PM  
Fickle creatures we humans are. I think with some, it's an ego thing. There's the inner fear they may later become sexually inadequate for each other. Some couples have experienced an element of surprise... a feeling or action they didn't expect to see or fail. Something that was not in the plans. Fights ensue over this. (OMG! he/she was NOT supposed to enjoy him/her more than me!). Some men don't even like their women playing with toys, and fail to see toys as sexual enhancements.

All I can say is, if one doesn't have complete confidence and trust in themselves and their partner... don't do it.


May 4 @ 7:24PM  
My partner have both watched one another with other people (see my last blog). Seeing her with another man didn't really affect me either way. Seeing her with another woman made me . I don't think she's minded at all the few times she's seen me with another woman.

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watching your partner