I discovered that I have somebody living with me...umm, let me rephrase that...somebody staying with me that I didn't know was here. I have always led an interesting life, and sometimes it being interesting has little to do with me or anything that I did, per se.
I don't expect for anyone to believe this because I would prefer that it not be true. But I do find humor in almost everything.
Several people have lived here with me over the past 22 years and I have lost touch with many of them. Somebody moved somebody else in here unbeknownst to me and left without taking them.
I had put off cleaning my garage for, well, years, maybe decades. Earlier this week, I decided that some spring cleaning was in order. I started going in there and taking stuff to the curb. A lot of it involved putting items back where they belonged instead being thrown onto a convenient bench or shelf, or pushed into a corner as I usually did.
Homeowners know this can be an adventure. This is multiplied by my being a bit lazy and living in my home for 22 years. Further the equation by factoring in many residents including a wife, family, girlfriends, friends, roommates, and insignificant others. Plus, I am a nice guy that has let others store things here "briefly".
Anyway, I have learned that past a certain point, possession is nine tenths of the law in addition to the right of eminent domain. If you don't get it, I give it way, sell it, keep it, or trash it.
In the process of spring cleaning, you make many discoveries and comments:
"I was looking for this."
"Lovely, now I have five of them."
"I wonder if it works."
"Where is the rest of it?"
"I never saw this before in my life."
"What is it?"
"Whose was it?"
"What was it?"
"Ewww."
Anyway, this morning, I had just about finished up this process. I have this tall narrow wooden cabinet where I keep my power tools. Like I said, I am a bit lazy, so rather than stoop down, I find another place to put things other than the bottom shelf of this particular cabinet.
Among the treasures I had inherited was a canvas painters drop cloth. I thought that it would be a good item to put on that bottom shelf. It was worth something and the cabinet had a door that would keep rats from building nests in the winter. (That was/is a problem as I had to trash a few tents and sleeping bags as a result of their taking up residence in them in the past.)
When I bent down to put the drop cloth in, I noticed a vase. I grabbed it and immediately knew it was not a vase due to the weight. It was a damned funeral urn. No name or inscription either.
I racked my brain, I cannot think of any dead people I know of that are missing or unaccounted for. I have made a few phone calls and left messages.
Life has been good to me so it is not like it is a malevolent spirit and may have been here for quite a while. Not sure what to do about this if there is no kin located. I guess just leave it where it is.
I had thought about calling it John/Jane Doe, but have chosen to opt for Casper the Friendly Ghost instead.
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| Gone But Not Forgotten? Not Necessarily! |
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j3411
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May 2 @ 4:44PM
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Ah gezzz, I knew I left my X wife somewhere ! Hey can ya be a good guy and hang onto her for me. Ya know, till they at least quit looking for her !
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beefygoblin
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May 2 @ 4:45PM
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Weird...one would think you'd remember having someones cremains located in your garage... ahh the joy of old age.
I wonder if and where they wanted those scattered.
I want to be freeze dried and have a tree planted in me.
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Wordsofwit
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May 2 @ 4:48PM
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I knew I left my X wife somewhere ! Hey can ya be a good guy and hang onto her for me.
Why don't you come a pick her up. She isn't complaining, maybe you will get along now. Silence is golden they say.
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Wordsofwit
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May 2 @ 4:50PM
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one would think you'd remember having someones cremains located in your garage
Some of the people that lived here in the past are also dead.
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Zaftik
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May 2 @ 4:56PM
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Well...like you said he/she seems to be a quiet spirit and now you have someone to talk to!
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Wordsofwit
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May 2 @ 5:01PM
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now you have someone to talk to!
Yeah! And no arguments or getting pissed off at me for not taking sides! I'll just take the lid off the urn and poor a shot of tequila in there. Yes, dear, I am drinking, as this kind of tripped the trigger!
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Ewe_Wish
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May 2 @ 5:02PM
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Don't be putting those ashes back in the bottom of that cabinet Bruce........would you want to spend eternity in the bottom of someones cabinet in the garage.........  Although to be honest, it is kinda amusing that you found them and had never seen them before.........try contacting a funeral home and see if they can come up with any ideas of how you could either find out whose they are or how to dispose of them respectfully.
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Wordsofwit
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May 2 @ 5:02PM
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now you have someone to talk to!
On second thought, I will stick with the dogs.
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straightup_9
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May 2 @ 5:07PM
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LMAO...I have the same kind of problems with my Barn...less the Urn, of course...
I do hope their "identity" doesn't remain secret for too long....and if you think you're confused...imagine someone (one of your heirs) rediscovering it, say, 50 years from now..... 
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Sunshine79
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May 2 @ 5:20PM
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Umm....you could always try putting it up on EBAY.....Someone might be interested!!!
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sugarnspice005
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May 2 @ 7:05PM
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Hey...need to ask the "roomie" there for the back pay for all those years of "living" free.
Ok...couldn't help it...at least I didn't tell you that you have someone to talk to.
(saw that one in a couple of the other comments)
I agree with Dayna though...contact the funeral home and see if they can find out who the urn belongs too.
Amazing what one can find going through a garage.
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StraddleMyNose
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May 2 @ 7:34PM
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Just spread them in a park or something if you can't find any family
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soft_touch938
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May 2 @ 10:29PM
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On the other hand...can't you just picture someone somewhere racking their brain about where they misplaced so 'n so...! Don't dare tell anyone either if other family members think you are the caretaker of Mom/Dad/grandma....or whoever.
I had Wayne cremated and his ashes put in a pretty wooden box....but it sure wasn't worth $400.00..!! Anyway, attached to the plastic bag that contained his ashes was an identifying tag from the crematorium. Of course you haven't any idea which one but maybe a funeral home can help.
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kingdongilingus
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May 2 @ 10:37PM
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TELL ME that isn't a Legend in the making right there........
This, people, is a GOOD blog story.
Worth the words, and the read.
I hear "Dateline NBC" in your future news story.
And I don't mean "To catch a Predator".
My man, call someone up, and tell them that story.
I would damned sure like to hear that on the news.
MUCH better than Obama Vs. Billary anway right?
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redbronze
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May 2 @ 11:07PM
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OK Bruce we now have coffee conversation LOL..there is an artist in Houston who uses forgotten ashes in his paintings.. did you know that every persons ashes have a different color... from black to a beautiful beige color... Crazy shit huh.... Here is his URL... Smile.....
Yes I am filled with useless trivia on artists... I know this artist and have been to his home in Houston... Smile... Cool space... With a shower that can hold 15 to 20 people...
wayne gilbert ashes to ashes artist
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