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The Worst Fuckin'

posted 5/1/2008 10:08:31 PM |
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Most people will remember the first time they had sex.
Most will remember the GREAT sex.
Most will try and forget it but still remember the bad sex.
Most will remember the strangest place or places they had sex.

But how many remember the worst place they had sex and what made it so terrible.

I actually have two that I remember. One was on the beach and even though we were on a blanket the sand got into everything and I do mean everything.

It was like jacking off with sandpaper.

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May 1 @ 10:14PM  
I can't remember the last time I had sex much less where it was at...

May 1 @ 10:16PM  
Dayum, Aly you done forgot what we did last week already.

May 1 @ 10:18PM  
Dayum, Aly you done forgot what we did last week already.

Didn't want to let anyone else know

May 1 @ 10:21PM  
well i'm still a newb i've only had sex twice and was a bit inebbriated both times both times were good for me i can't say they were bad at all.....but eny suggestions to help me through down some game is always appreciated lol

May 1 @ 10:22PM  
LOL! A friend once compared sex to pizza. He said that even when it's bad it's still pretty good. I'm not sure that I totally agree with his statement. That being said I'm not sure that I can relate the really bad places to have sex however there are some inconvenient places.

- counter tops of odd height.
- stairs of odd height, but not as bad as the counter tops.

On a related note, the place where I felt the worst while sex was happening was on a camping trip with some friends of mine. Made the mistake of pitching my tent next to theirs. At o'dark thirty in the morning the couple and another decided to have a threesome. Very noisy, not the sort of thing I would intrude upon without an invitation, and not something you I sleep through. In the morning when they had sobered up the best comment was, "Dude, I wasn't about to tell them both to shut up. I'm sure you understand."

That was kinda terrible I guess. Does that count?

May 1 @ 10:24PM  
The back seat of my '78 Camero. It didn't mater what we did, I wasn't staying in. That stupid hump in the middle of the seats prevented any fun. We went and got my dad's Cadillac. Went back to her house and parked on the street. Started doin it in the front seat. The windows were all fogged up and her mom opened the door. "What are you doing on my daughter". Before we could say anything she slammed the door. Later that night her dad busted us in the family room.

Three attempts an no orgasms. For me. She said she came twice. Those were the good ole days.

May 1 @ 10:25PM  
That was kinda terrible I guess

Hmmmm was it only terrible because you didn't get to participate???

May 1 @ 10:26PM  
Ok, Ok,

I confess...It was with Swyeter...Last week on the beach..


May 1 @ 10:29PM  
Sooooooooo Aly, you know we want to know how it was

May 1 @ 10:34PM  
Belle I don't know how it was for Aly but for me it was the greatest. Then I woke up.

May 1 @ 10:36PM  
Sorry, have no memory of any bad place having sex.

May 1 @ 10:37PM  
if a guy loses his erection....B A D.....

May 1 @ 10:38PM  
Hey Purple, you just had to get that angle right in front of the hump. Me and my girlfriend (of course in my teens we were much thinner ) positioned ourselves on one side of the hump in my 76' LT Camaro and somehow it worked fine. Also did it in the back seat of my 78' Nova Custom in the back seat. You know what works good I discovered? In a 280 ZX in the front passenger seat with it reclined and she's sitting in the seat and your knees are on the floor in front of the seat doing her missionary (sorta) in a movie theater parking lot.

My WORST was probably a skinny older blind date with bad teeth who smoked. Wilbur the One-eyed wonder weasel just wasn't interested so I said "sorry this aint gonna work", and went home.

May 1 @ 10:44PM  
Sooooooooo Aly, you know we want to know how it was

How much money is it worth to you

Belle I don't know how it was for Aly but for me it was the greatest.

Then I woke up.
Was there a wet spot

May 1 @ 10:46PM  
I've had my fair share of bad sex experiences...I won't bore you all with the details. but after 7 years of no sex, I'm ready to find that one special man to make exciting memories with again :)

May 1 @ 10:50PM  

According to Swyeter, its not just a drink anymore.......


May 1 @ 10:55PM  
radracer one of the best car places was the hood (front) of a 1970 Volkswagon beetle. The curve of the hood was just perfect and standing on the bumper was the exact height.

May 1 @ 11:22PM  
OMG swyter I also remember my time on the beach yep sand was everywhere and umm it hurt in the female area so I know what you mean

best OMG it was my very first blog umm the policeman was my wonderman of lovemaking

May 1 @ 11:35PM  
How much money is it worth to you

I'm broke sweetie, so i guess i'll never know

May 1 @ 11:44PM  
Sex with a paraplegic...He couldnt get it in so I just lubed my hand up, wrapped it around his cock and moaned. To this day he's none the the wiser!

May 2 @ 12:03AM  
I'd say my worst was my divorce...I seriously got screwed.

May 2 @ 12:25AM  
man4fun20 ~ My first suggestion would be not to drink so much the next time; much more fun that way.

PleasureAwaits ~ if that’s the worst it counts. It did remind me of a time that I set up a tent on an ant hill but I did not have a woman with me, just my rifle as I was in the Army.

PP ~ I had a 66 Pontiac Lemans that had a hump in the middle of the back seat, bummer. I also got caught in the front yard by a pissed off grandmother who took a broom stick to the top of a 62 Chevy and messed up a new paint job

alybai42 ~ and you were wonderful

belle1010 ~ I don’t know how it was for her but it was great for me.

RR ~ Humm, you ever had sex?

DB ~ If you think ED is bad for you think how it must be for the guy. No I am not speaking from experience.

Radracer ~ One of the best car places was the hood (front) of a 1970 Volkswagen beetle. The curve of the hood was just perfect and standing on the bumper was the exact height.

Aly ~ BIG wet spot, and no I did not piss the bed.

luscious ~ Hope you find him.

Ewe_Wish ~ Sex on the beach is a drink? Never had it but it reminds me that there was a lady that used to bring a dessert to the work luncheons she called “Better Than Sex”. I told her she must be a virgin.

Lisa ~ Are you telling me that was you I was with on the beach with and not Aly!

Belle ~ If you can get her to blog it I’ll pay.

Devious ~ If he happens to be on AMD he knows now.

L4E ~ I would have thought you might have said your divorce was the best screwing you got if you wanted to get rid of him.

May 2 @ 3:24AM  
Worst place-In her room, trying to be quiet because her dad was downstairs, on her narrow bed that smelled like cat piss. Eventually moved to the floor, having to be even quieter.

Worst sex- Thanksgiving break, home from college, about 5:00 AM, been out all night, barely able to move or think, had to be at the airport by 7:30. We both nodded off at various points during the act, and both felt really bad because it was our last chance to fuck for almost another month.

May 2 @ 6:04AM  
I think i`ve had sex ... Why don`t you come up to Wisconsin and help me out ... Then i`ll know for sure ...

May 2 @ 8:16AM  
Worst place- front seat of a 7o someting Camaro! sex was great, place was not, too small of an area, I got dashboard burn on my tailbone! lol

Worst sex- Front seat of an old chevette behind the Pizza Hut I worked at with a co-worker! He told me broke up with his gf, he lied and I layed there the entire time doing nothing cause he was fucking a hole in the seat, saying oh god baby u feel so good and tight the entire time, to this day he thinks it was me, even after I told him! lmao He said I was lying, that it was me not the seat, I told him your a dumbass, u can't tell the difference between a wet pussy and a dry foam hole in the seat? OMG! yeah it was the worst, the seat got it, I didn't! lmao

May 2 @ 10:41AM  
I have never had a bad sex PLACE, only women who were bad at sex.

I don't even need to tell any stories, any man reading this is nodding their heads, and reliving "I know this woman is hot, but DAMN she is bad in bed" memory RIGHT NOW.

May 2 @ 2:52PM  
evild614 ~ You were probably lucky she wasn’t a moaner, groaner or worse a screamer. Damn, that just reminded me of the woman in the movie “Porky’s”

RR ~ Can I take that as a “Wanna Fuck”

IndianaHottie ~ Just think, that poor fool probably still compares women to a hole in a car seat thinking it was you.

KDL ~ I do agree that the hottest and sexiest woman I remember having sex with seemed to just lay there like a corpse.

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The Worst Fuckin'