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Is He a Player or is it Sour Grapes From Her?

posted 4/26/2008 9:52:07 PM |
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We all see blogs condemning the opposite sex for the way the poster has been/was allegedly treated. Some appear to be heartfelt and sincere assessments of disappointment. Others appear to be whining rationalized bitterness. Generally, it is pretty easy to connect the dots to sort out what category a blog and the poster fits into.

I was cruising through blogs and saw one with a title that sounded familiar. I don’t want to be too specific so as to identify the poster personally. It, shall I say, referred to somebody not being Mr. Right. It was a whine about being used by a player and now the poster hated men. On the sidebar of the blog post was a listing of her other blogs. The most recent one was about meeting Mr. Right, posted less a week before this one. I read it. It was short, gushy, smarmy, and, yeah, right out of a Judy Garland/Mickey Rooney movie.

I did a click back to the profile while grinning as I shook my head. My mouth kind of fell open and my eyes got big. No, the poster was not an 18 year old girl. The poster was twice that age, a middle age woman.

What is wrong with this picture? Several answers, all of them probably correct.

To me it was obvious that she got dumped. I’ve been dumped, I’ve dumped people, we’ve dumped each other. We’ve all been dumped. Reading the two blog posts gave me a pretty good idea of the reason in this case.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, let me restate what should be obvious:

When you meet somebody and begin going out, enjoy the journey without scripting the destination.

Guys don’t like sticky women and women don’t like clingy guys.

Love at first sight usually turns into love that bites.

Realistic LTR potential is rarely determined before two months with a tipping point at six.

If you get blown off, it doesn’t necessarily mean he is a player or she uses men.

If you didn’t make the cut, look into the mirror to see the mostly likely reason.

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Apr 26 @ 10:01PM  
Very well said . .... Saw that myself and sort of brushed it off.... It should have been tagged wit " Generalization ".... Everyone is unique in their own way.... regardless of gender.... Heres a big "K".

Apr 26 @ 10:17PM  
Yes. yes.. Enjoy the journey! .In my old age,, I have come to enjoy the highs of love/infatuation whatever those feelings are as well as the pain of love lost. I don;t want to miss any of it,,, not for a minute.

Good or bad.. I cherish it all. It is wonderful to be a vulnerable feeling human being. It is wonderful not to be numb or callous or jaded.

Yes,, it is the journey. Truly, it is the journey. The goal, the destination is insignificant.

It pains me to see lonely ppl on dating sites looking for their soul mates, pining away because they are tired of being alone. They are the ones who have unreasonable expectations. They are the ones who end up feeling dumped and disappointed.

If I ever find a soul mate. I will trip over them when I am not looking. And I will consider it an unexpected stroke of good fortune. Any one else I meet may also be worthy of getting lucky...LOL.

Apr 26 @ 10:20PM  
Amen. I want to add to that... anyone that does that kind of open complaining about the other being a player on a site like this... and sticks around hoping to meet another, is only setting themselves up to be played again. I'm sorry... but a real man never tells, and a real woman tells even less.

Apr 26 @ 10:26PM  
I think everyone has been played at one time or another - but for me - I love being in love - and if I end up getting hurt in the end, well it is better to have loved and lost, then never loved at all!! I always find the best in things, no matter how they end!! Have a great evening!

Apr 26 @ 10:35PM  
I noticed that blog,what was up with that?

Apr 26 @ 10:39PM  
Bruce.....very well said. I am often amazed that as an adult this is not common knowlege yet it seems many need to be reminded of this time and time again.

Apr 26 @ 10:57PM  
I saw that blog too. Just shook my head and kept moving on.

Apr 26 @ 10:59PM  
Great blog!

Sometimes we are just a little too anxious to "be loved" or "be in love" and we jump the gun.

I have never understood why anyone would make a grand announcement in the beginning of a relationship.

Too much potential for things to go wrong.

While I am a optimist, I also try to be realistic ....most relationships look great in the beginning.

This not to say that there are not players out there...male and female...but sometimes we "play" right into thier hands.

Apr 26 @ 10:59PM  
Very well said Bruce....
Yep I seen that too.. I Just didn't read the posts..
Just wasn't something I wanted to read...

Apr 27 @ 7:15AM  
Also consider that some people consider talking 2 or 3 times means that you're "dating" now while the other person just considers it talking to try and get to know the other person. 2 different people, 2 different takes on the situation.

Apr 27 @ 7:52AM  
Yeah, I saw that blog of her's. And I agree with what you say on here concerning it...

Apr 27 @ 5:18PM  
This person posted a blog lamenting her relationships. I posted the following comment:
Mark Twain once said, "Insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results."

Apr 27 @ 5:23PM  
lol yes I read it too.. Fantasy and reality are two different things.. this is where one needs to think and ask and keep one's self on stable ground.. and time is really the biggest teller of where things will go, even then nothing is written in stone..

I think for this woman she is at her "end of the rope" I have been there wondering what was wrong with me as well as what is wrong with the world. I think and know many of us have been right where she is. sometimes falling into a fantasy world where we want things to happen while in reality they are not.. and some times we get into a place of self distruct where we want something so badly that we try to make it happen kind of like forcing a round tube in a square hole.. sometimes it fits but really it is not the correct fit.

I know I would love my life to be one where I was always with the one I think is for me but life has other plans and who am I to try to trip up life.. LOL...

Compassion, something we must all keep on the front burner...

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Is He a Player or is it Sour Grapes From Her?