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Contest Part 11 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes

posted 4/21/2008 7:05:10 AM |
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  Wordsofwit

I will be posting over 50 geriatric jokes in 12 parts, four or five per day, culminating on Tuesday 4/22. I had began posting them on Friday, the 11th. You can vote for the ones that you find quite funny. You can vote for all of them if you like. If you have one that you want to enter, email it to me.

The voting will cut off at 6:00 PM on Friday 4/25. I will then tally the votes and post the top ten or so. Then the final phase begins. People can then vote on their three favorites out of that group until 6:00 PM on Monday 4/28. I will then post the results in order.

I will admit that only about 15 of the 50+ would get my vote. You may vote for as many or as few as you like. You don't have to rank them in any kind of order. The jokes will be numbered to make it easy. All you have to do to vote is indicate the joke number(s) in your comment. If you made a comment on the previous posts, that does not count as a vote unless you cite the number (1-4)

If you want to see the geriatric joke blogs already posted. It will be easier to access them through my profile. Have fun!

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#1 - A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with no pants on?" he asked again.
The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!!"

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#2 - A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. "Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently." "I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?" "Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother'? It would make me feel so much better." "Sure," answered the young man.
As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!" As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" He asked, "I only purchased a few things!" "Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

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#3 - An old couple were sitting in their living room on a Sunday morning watching a religious program.

The preacher on this show would go to all the people in the audience and asking them what they wanted fixed, then he would have them cover the part of their body they wanted fixed.

Many of the people were elderly so they were covering their eyes and hearts. Then the preacher said "Ok now for you at home put your hand on the part of your body you want fixed and say this prayer with me."

So the little old lady put her hand on her heart, because she had a very bad heart. And the little old man put his hands on his crotch.

The little old lady turned to her husband and said "He said he could heal the sick, not raise the dead!"
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#4 - In a small town, an elderly couple had been dating each other for a long time.

At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally time for marriage.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather trustingly.

"Well," she said, responding very carefully, "I'd have to say... I would like it infrequently."

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and casually asked ............
"Is that one word or two?"

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#5 - A doctor examining an elderly woman who had been rushed to the emergency room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the granndkids".

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   read more blogs!

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Rerun Joke Theory
Gone But Not Forgotten? Not Necessarily!
Cast the First Stone - Tommy
Coffee Calamity
Contest - Top Ten Geriatric Jokes Final Results
Rerun Jokes - a Partial Remedy
Is He a Player or is it Sour Grapes From Her?
Women and the Change of Life
Contest Part 12 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 11 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 10 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 9 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 8 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 7 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 6 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 5 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 4 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Geriatric Jokes Part 3
Geriatric Jokes Part 2
Geriatric Jokes Part 1
Whales - My FAVORITE Joke


Comments:

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Wordsofwit

Apr 21 @ 7:07AM  
I am going to pass on this group, no votes from me as too many others are funnier to me, including a couple in tomorrow's final part.
Scottishtease

Apr 21 @ 7:42AM  
Aw i like 3 & 5...chuckle...but you have better ones in the others i agree...good job wit. :>) Tease.
themama

Apr 21 @ 8:37AM  
#3 is cute...
NachoBaby

Apr 21 @ 10:18AM  
OMG # 5... love it.
ThePurpleProphet

Apr 21 @ 11:08AM  
I've seen 2 before and it always makes me laugh. Number 2 is where my vote goes.
sugarnspice005

Apr 21 @ 8:10PM  
I liked #3, that was cute.
soft_touch938

Apr 21 @ 10:13PM  
# 4....don't know why....just made me laugh....

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Contest Part 11 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes