AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

Contest Part 10 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes

posted 4/20/2008 8:10:04 AM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
tagged: joke
  Wordsofwit

I will be posting over 50 geriatric jokes in 12 parts, four or five per day, culminating on Tuesday 4/22. I had began posting them on Friday, the 11th. You can vote for the ones that you find quite funny. You can vote for all four if you like. If you have one that you want to enter, email it to me.

The voting will cut off at 6:00 PM on Friday 4/25. I will then tally the votes and post the top ten or so. Then the final phase begins. People can then vote on their three favorites out of that group until 6:00 PM on Monday 4/28. I will then post the results in order.

I will admit that only about 15 of the 50+ would get my vote. You may vote for as many or as few as you like. You don't have to rank them in any kind of order. The jokes will be numbered to make it easy. All you have to do to vote is indicate the joke number(s) in your comment. If you made a comment on the previous posts, that does not count as a vote unless you cite the number (1-4)

If you want to see the geriatric joke blogs already posted. It will be easier to access them through my profile. Have fun!

_______________________________________________________________

#1 - An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong,
"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Wallace. "My Private Part died today, and I am very sad."
Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences."
The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas. He met Nurse Tracy. 'Mr. Wallace,' she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas."
"But, Nurse Tracy I can't," replied Mr. Wallace. "I told you yesterday that my Private Part died."
"Yes," said Nurse Tracy, "You did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"
"Well," he replied, "Today is the viewing."

_______________________________________________________________

#2 - You see this young lad walks out of a store and sees an elderly man sitting on a bench crying. This young lad walks over to the man to check to see if he is O.k.!
Young Lad: Sir, are you Okay?
Old Man: Yes, it's my birthday today (and he is still crying)
Young Lad: Wow, it's a special day for you.
Old Man.: Yes it is. I'm 82 today (and still crying.)
Young Lad: Even better, you look great for your age.
Old Man: Thank you, and I just got married (and he is still crying.)
Young Lad: Married!! Gee, that's great! 82 and married, wow! You've got a whole new life ahead of you.
Old Man: I married a 25 year old.
Young Lad: Holly Moley!! Even better.
Old Man: We have sex every day! (he's till crying)
Young Lad: I don't even have sex everyday, you lucky person you.
Old Man: Yes, I am, and I've forgotten where I lived.

_______________________________________________________________

#3 - There is this guy who really takes care of his body, he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body. he noticed that he is really suntanned all over, except his penis, and he decides to do something about it. He goes to the beach, strips completely and buries himself in the sand, except for his penis sticking out of the sand.
Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and one looks down and says "There is no justice in this world".
The other lady says, "What do you mean?"
The first lady says, "Look at that. When I was 10 Years old I was afraid of it. When I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot about it. And now that I'm 80, the damn things are growing wild!"

_______________________________________________________________

#4 - An old woman saved a fairy's life. To repay this, the fairy promised to grant the old woman three wishes. For the first wish, the old lady asked to become young and beautiful. Poof! She became young and beautiful. For the second wish, the old lady asked to be richest woman in the world. Poof! She was the richest woman in the world. For the last wish, she pointed at the cat she had kept for years. She asked that he be turned into the most handsome man on earth. After all, he had been her best friend for so many years. Poof! The fairy turned the cat into the most handsome man on earth. The old lady and the fairy said their goodbyes. After the fairy left, the handsome man strolled over to her and asked, "Now aren't you sorry you had me neutered?"

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by Wordsofwit:
Did Your Wife Ever Change?
Gone But Not Forgotten? Not Necessarily! Epilogue
Rerun Joke Theory
Gone But Not Forgotten? Not Necessarily!
Cast the First Stone - Tommy
Coffee Calamity
Contest - Top Ten Geriatric Jokes Final Results
Rerun Jokes - a Partial Remedy
Is He a Player or is it Sour Grapes From Her?
Women and the Change of Life
Contest Part 12 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 11 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 10 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 9 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 8 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 7 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 6 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 5 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 4 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Geriatric Jokes Part 3
Geriatric Jokes Part 2
Geriatric Jokes Part 1
Whales - My FAVORITE Joke
Kan U Spell - Survey


Comments:

post a comment!

Wordsofwit

Apr 20 @ 8:10AM  
Number 4 for me today.
fantasyfactory

Apr 20 @ 8:17AM  
Number four is the one alright!
loveableone

Apr 20 @ 9:24AM  
#1 and #4 get my votes today!!!
itsallforfun

Apr 20 @ 9:40AM  
Number 4....
NachoBaby

Apr 20 @ 10:20AM  
# 4!
Dominus

Apr 20 @ 10:27AM  
4 for sure.
Scottishtease

Apr 20 @ 10:57AM  
#2. chuckle. good one's as always wit. :>)
xquseme

Apr 20 @ 11:23AM  
Yup! #4...even though I've heard it before...

(BTW...Haven't we seen #1 in the contest before??)

sugarnspice005

Apr 20 @ 8:57PM  
#4 definitely!
themama

Apr 20 @ 10:24PM  
sorry am late on voting...
Yep it's #4 for me too....
soft_touch938

Apr 21 @ 10:10PM  
#3....I feel like I could be walking in that old ladies shoes...eventually...

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB01
Contest Part 10 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes