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Term of Endearment

posted 4/19/2008 9:13:30 PM |
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tagged: bsdm, master

This one is just my own personal feelings so please bear with me.

The terms a Dom/sub use in reference to each other, vary widely from couple to couple. The sub at first always refers to her Dom as Sir, and in writing Him, His He, with the first letter always capitalized, this shows respect and designates who is the one with the power in the relationship. If it was a woman, she would be a Domme', and addressed as Madam, and maybe an other titles, and in writing She, Hers, or Her again with the first letter in capital.

The Dom/Domme' refers to his sub/slave as just that, or maybe even some other demeaning title depending on how Hard the Dom/Domme' practices. It is not unusual for the sub to be refered to as meat, slut, scumb, worthless, or other such titles when true power and demeaning a person is to be taken into consideration. The sub always refers to themselves in writing in lower case and usually in the third person.

Most Doms will tell you the title Master is earned through the training process. When a sub/slave actually calls you Master, it means you have earned their full trust in almost all if not all things. That they, as a Dom, have conducted themselve correctly in all manners, and have seen to the care and well being of the slave/sub to the point there is a feeling of total safty and security. In some cases after the first time it is use, most Doms will thank their sub/slave for using it. It is a true point of honor.

The title Master is not given or taken lightly, and rarely demanded by a true person in the lifestyle. i myself did not use the term at ALL before i met DKW. Nobody ever won that kind of loyalty or trust. As a new sub,with a new Dom i found it easy to use this term early and it has now not only become a title, but a term of endearment. i use the word Master, like most wives use the terms, dear, honey, love, or whatever pet name they call their mate. Some other names He has approved of me using in public is Dark One, Dark Lord, and Akri. I find using Akri, Pronouced Ahhhh/Kree, is the one i use most of the time, it's easy to use, and most people have no idea what it really mean. So now my title for my Master, has become a term of endearment, or His name. It was His choice however to allow me to use it in public.

Akri has never used a demeaning name for me in public. He has called me precious, a time or two, or little one, but recently as you know he started with edera, again it's my call name, but it's used much like a huband find a pet name for his wife. There is nothing wrong with that, it happens in Vanilla relationships

So where is the line drawn? When does it change from Dom/sub to something more. That's easy, just like in any other relationship, when you start to build a history together. You find things you have in common, like both our love for Greek Mythology and my love for a series of novels based on Greek and Atlantean Mythos. (If you've read any of the Dark-Hunter books you know the term Akri very well. Think Simi.)

Do i still respect Akri? But of course or i wouldn't still be here. Do i use the term lightly? Never, when i use the term Master or Akti it is alway with respect to the man who is holding that title. Akri will always be DKW, no one will ever hold that title again. i know what having Akri in my life does for me, and how he centers
me. So He does hold a certain amout of power. How He uses that power is what makes Him the type of Master He is, why He is perfect for me. So to me a term given as a title of power, can and did become a term of endearment. It doesn't happen for everyone, but Akri and i found that plane very early in this relationship, which is making the building process that much more enjoyable and easier. You could say we are finding more and more each day just how perfect we are for each other.

i would love to hear how other Master/Sub-slaves handle this type of situation. Do you use your real names outside of a scene? Do you have one name for play and one name for everyday. Questions are always encouraged. If i don't know the answer, there is always someone here who does, or can find it. Civil discussion is always welcome, you don't have to agree with anything written here either by me or someone else. Just be polite about it and things will be taken at face value. Also if you have anyother information to add to my sorely lacking knowledge, feel free to add that as well. i am always looking to improve myself to please Akri.

Special Note: For those who have never read any of the series I mentioned above. Akri is Atlantean for Lord and Master. edera means percious baby. Fits pretty well i think, and easier to say.

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Apr 19 @ 9:21PM  
Wow....very interesting read. I never knew that about writing, but thinking back to some dom/sub emails I've seen, it makes perfect sense. Thanks for writing this.

Apr 19 @ 9:27PM  
Thanks for writing gives more insight to the Dom/sub relationship.

Apr 19 @ 9:45PM  
That was so wonderfully put! I am so glad you two are so happy!! All I can do is hope that all the other people here find that which you have found!! All the best and good luck in the future!

Apr 19 @ 10:27PM  
As in any realationship of any nature, if you find the one that truly works for you that is what matters.

The style of relationship you have choosen is pretty far outside the box for most of us to understand but that does not mean we cannot appreciate that it works for the 2 of you.

I enjoy reading about the interesting choices you have made and how they are affecting your life. No one should be in any type of relationship that is not giving them what they truly need.

Kudso for being strong enough to know what you need.


Apr 20 @ 12:20AM  
BRAVO! ...very well put...

Apr 20 @ 1:43AM  
Off topic:

Our Reds fucked up again today.

Apr 20 @ 2:53AM  
Your education is growing daily.

Well done and a kudo for you

Apr 20 @ 10:51AM  
I find that when we are in public I don't use my "pet" name for him & vice versa...we had agreed early on that those names were specifically for our ears far as terms of endearment to each other in public we both freely give each other little touches, looks, and he will allow in a way it is like calling some one pet, dear, honey. Just when we are at home it takes on a different meaning & I am once again his to do as he pleases with no regret on my part. Thanks, blue eyes &DK another scintillating blog. Tease. :>)

Apr 20 @ 3:25PM  
Tease said it for me.. Our Sub/dom names are for the bedroom only..
We do how ever have other names we do use out in public or around family members.. Which they just think are pet names but go deeper then that for us..

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Term of Endearment