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Contest Part 9 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes

posted 4/19/2008 8:08:24 AM |
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  Wordsofwit

I will be posting over 40 geriatric jokes, four per day, over the course next week or more. I had began posting them on Friday, the 11th. You can vote for the ones that you find quite funny. You can vote for all four if you like.

I will admit that only about 15 of the 40 would get my vote. The series has already began being posted. You may vote for as many or as few as you like. You don't have to rank them in any kind of order. The jokes will be numbered to make it easy. All you have to do to vote is indicate the joke number(s) in your comment. If you made a comment on the previous posts, that does not count as a vote unless you cite the number (1-4)

If you have one that you want to enter, email it to me. A week after the last group is posted, I will post a blog featuring the top ten vote getters.

If you want to see the geriatric joke blogs already posted. It will be easier to access them through my profile. Have fun!

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#1 - On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. While the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in his ear, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!"

The driver didn't think much of this complaint, but promised he would check into it soon.

Later, that very same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!"

This time, he knew it had to be taken care of soon.

A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to see if they had any knowledge of what was going on. He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor underneath the seats and stooped down to question him.

"Excuse me, sir, can I help you?"
The elderly man looked up and said, "Well, sonny, you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it.

I thought I'd found it twice, but they were both parted in the middle...and mine's parted on the side!"

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#2 - A old man goes to Victoria's Secret. He wants to buy his wife the most sheer lingerie he can find. The woman behind the counter goes and gets an outfit.
"This is $200," she says.
"I want one that's more sheer," says he.

"This one is $350."
"I want it even more sheer than that."

"This one is the most sheer that we have. It's $500."
"I'll take it!"

The man goes home to his wife and shows it to her, saying, "Go put this on and come down to model it for me."

His wife goes upstairs, opens the box and thinks, "This thing is so see through that the old coot won't even notice if I'm wearing it or not."

So his wife comes down, wearing nothing at all and strikes a pose.
"So, how do you like it?" she says.

"Damn, you'd think for $500, they'd at least iron the damn thing!"
_______________________________________________________________

#3 - An elderly Amish man and his son were visiting a mall for the first time. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially the two shiny silver walls of an elevator that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The son asked, "What is this, father?"
The father, never having seen an elevator before responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life; I don't know what it is".
While they were watching in amazement, a fat old lady wearing a black dress in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into what appeared to be a small room. The walls closed and the son and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman in a black dress stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman said quietly to his son, "Go get your mother."

______________________________________________________________

#4 - A 90-year old man announces his intention to marry a woman of
30.

He is persuaded to have a medical exam first. "Everyone tells me I need a checkup to see if I'm sexually fit," he says to the doctor.

"Okay," says the medic, "let me see your sex organs."

So the old guy sticks out his tongue and his middle finger.

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by Wordsofwit:
Gone But Not Forgotten? Not Necessarily! Epilogue
Rerun Joke Theory
Gone But Not Forgotten? Not Necessarily!
Cast the First Stone - Tommy
Coffee Calamity
Contest - Top Ten Geriatric Jokes Final Results
Rerun Jokes - a Partial Remedy
Is He a Player or is it Sour Grapes From Her?
Women and the Change of Life
Contest Part 12 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 11 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 10 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 9 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 8 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 7 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 6 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 5 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 4 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Geriatric Jokes Part 3
Geriatric Jokes Part 2
Geriatric Jokes Part 1
Whales - My FAVORITE Joke
Kan U Spell - Survey
The First Thing that You Did to Get Sent to the Principal’s Office? - Tommy


Comments:

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Wordsofwit

Apr 19 @ 8:09AM  
I'll take number three.
StraddleMyNose

Apr 19 @ 8:17AM  
Yeah, I have seen # 3 before, and I agree with you, that one is more of a classic than the other three on here...
Scottishtease

Apr 19 @ 9:38AM  
Nope No. 2 by far chuckle.
NachoBaby

Apr 19 @ 9:58AM  
sorry, none of these four rocked my boat.
themama

Apr 19 @ 11:02AM  
#2 was good...
Dominus

Apr 19 @ 11:12AM  
#3 is great!
itsallforfun

Apr 19 @ 11:12AM  
not the best ones so far but if i had to choose i would go with 3
xquseme

Apr 19 @ 1:08PM  
#3 was funniest, but #1 was cute, too...
Playful

Apr 19 @ 6:53PM  
yes, # 3
sugarnspice005

Apr 19 @ 7:33PM  
#1 was cute...but #3 was hilarious!!!! I vote for 3.
ThePurpleProphet

Apr 19 @ 7:48PM  
Number 3 on this with number 4 a close 2nd.
soft_touch938

Apr 21 @ 10:01PM  
#3....I've seen it before but it is one of my favorites...always makes me laugh!

(I gotta go back a post or two....not sure where I left off at when Zelda went haywire...)
Nathanial

Apr 25 @ 12:26AM  
2 and 3

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Contest Part 9 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes