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My Collar

posted 4/18/2008 3:03:26 PM |
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tagged: collar

My Collar
(again with permission written in first person)

There seems to be some interest in what Akri and I are doing, how we are spending our time. One of the "big stinks" is over the fact that I am wearing a collar.

Now as those in the lifestyle know, a collar is more a symbol than anything else. Because of professional reasons, the trial collar may actually be an ankle braclet, a wrist bracelet or even a chain belt worn around the waist.

Here is what it relates to . Think way back when in H.S. when boys bought Pre-engagement rings for their girl-friends. That is right. They claimed the girl for their own. Nobody ever thought it was wrong to wear someone's varsity jacket, or class ring, or name bracelet. Or way back in college their fraternity pin. No I'm not that old, I just like old movies. It wasn't demeaning, it wasn't abusive, The girl felt special because she was chosen over everyone else by that young man. It was a promise of something special between two people.

So I wear a "collar." That doesn't mean it's a Rotty collar with spikes, (though I did own one of those once and wore it to a Pagan Biker Halloween party.) You've all seen the "play/training" collar on all the BSDM sites. They do look like dog collars with D-rings for leashes and other attachments. However, MOST of the time that is all they are, play collars. When Akri and I are playing a scene, learning or trying something new
alone or with a group of like minded adults I have one to wear. It keeps reminding both of us that we are in a play situation. I remain in sub mind, and Akri will remain in DOM mind, aware at all times he is responsible for everything, including MY safety. When play or training is over, that collar comes off. It serves a specific purpose. Also it is very impractical to wear everyday. For one thing it would look pretty silly with my Armani business suit now wouldn't it?

My "daily wear" collar is something entirely different. It's a piece of jewlery that I can wear under my dress shirt if I so wish, or wear it in an open collar. Unless you really know what you are looking for, you'd never guess what it is. But to me, it reminds me that I have a special man waiting at home for me after we both get off work. That I do belong to someone, and I am someone special in his mind always.

You see, what most here do not understand, I've been single for 18 years. Don't tell me that a powerful man will take on an equally powerful woman. Ding, ding, ding, Wrong! Powerful women usually scare men who aren't as powerful as themselves to death. As for the men who are equally as powerful. They want woman who will stroke their ego's and be there for them, not the other way around.. It's hard for them to
develop a relationship with someone their equal in power.

Akri is different. He understands my need for control in my business life. But I've had to make some concessions, even in that. Like no more 18 hour days, and if I work more than 8 days in a row, he promises he will come with the training collar and leash and lead me home. But I have a destructive personality when it comes to work, and career. Akri has taken on the very tough, almost insane job of tackling that. His
tough stand with D/s right now is so I can get it into my mind that when it comes to my personal welfare, Akri is the boss, and I must obey. I won't always sleep on a blanket or kiss his boots, this is training.

Getting me into a mindset that there will be consequences for my obstinence and my disobedience. This collar has no set limit to the time I will wear it. Akri and I are building a relationship based on love, honor, trust, communications, mutual respect, and mutual and personal limits. Sounds like an engagement to me. The day we decide we've reached a point where we decide that most of the building has happened,

we will write our contract. It will spell out in detail what we each expect from the other, for us it will most likely be more detailed than most pre-nups because we know what we are looking for and that's a partner for the remainder of our lives. Then there will be a ceremony, we're I will offer myself under the guides of the contract to Akri, and he just may accept me. (then again maybe not). But if he does, I receive my final
collar. To most it's like a wedding band, But Akri already told me that when he presents that collar, it will be 10,000 times more binding than any wedding vow, because he'll never offer it until he is absolutely sure. That makes it 10,000 times more special. And that is the one, I aim to earn.

By the way this is what my collar really looks like, Ever see a dog wear one of these????


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post a comment!


Apr 18 @ 3:14PM  
Thank you, that cleared up one question in my mind! The rest, I will submit in an email!

Apr 18 @ 3:20PM  
Oh that is lovely!!!

Apr 18 @ 3:27PM  
Very pretty indeed! I admire your attempts to enlighten those not familiar with the lifestyle and it's customs. Again I want to wish you both a most hearty congratulations!

Apr 18 @ 3:31PM  
I like that one! Got plenty of dragons around this house! I am happy that everything is working out for you and DKW.

Apr 18 @ 3:33PM  
Don't tell me that a powerful man will take on an equally powerful woman. Ding, ding, ding, Wrong! Powerful women usually scare men who aren't as powerful as themselves to death. As for the men who are equally as powerful. They want woman who will stroke their ego's and be there for them, not the other way around.. It's hard for them to develop a relationship with someone their equal in power.

No truer words could've been blogged.

*slips you a fresh baked green cookie*

Apr 18 @ 3:47PM  
Love the collar...
I give you a kudo...

Apr 18 @ 4:00PM  
Keep up the good work you are a treasure to your master and it reflects his good taste by having you in his service. I wish you both the best in all things

Apr 18 @ 4:00PM  
Wonderful BlueEyes

Truly most "vanilla" don't have any concept until they open both their eyes and their hearts to see how rare and special this is.. This thing between you two

My best to you.. and again thank you for sharing

Apr 18 @ 4:16PM  
It's nice and appears very symbolic of DK. I have a similar one I wear often, different pendant.

Apr 18 @ 5:38PM  
Ooh that is really pretty blue eyes...wonderful job on this latest blog...Kudos to you my dear. :>)

Apr 18 @ 5:50PM  
Let me just point out to all the vanilla's ... If your married, your warring a collar too ... you just ware it on your finger instead of your neck

Just sayin

Apr 18 @ 7:23PM  
That is awesome BlueEyes.

Apr 18 @ 8:02PM  
wishing both of you nothing but the results you seek..........

Apr 18 @ 8:09PM  
It's a lovely and symbolic collar m'dear! Wear it proudly!

Y'all need some IV fluids yet?

Apr 18 @ 8:20PM  
Now that's a kick ass collar. I bet you are very proud.

Apr 18 @ 9:42PM  
very very pretty.

Apr 18 @ 10:18PM  
Its very pretty. I am thrilled for you.

Apr 18 @ 10:49PM  

Apr 19 @ 2:05AM  
Cute collar. I'm going to have to get Kim a collar. Oh hell, I'm kidding. She would probably kill me for even posting this comment.

Apr 19 @ 2:40AM  
Great blog! Beautiful collar A nice greenie for the info! Thanks

Apr 19 @ 1:59PM  
(Master told me from now on any time i blog, i may do so in frist person. It is just easier on everyone, and He is not that strict after initial training.)

Thank you all for your wonderful comments. i kind of saved that one for last just because i wanted to see what kind of ideas went through peoples heads as to what DKW would actually want me to wear.

Also because i knew there were other people into the life-stlye on this site, just not open about it. i wanted to give everyone a chance to read, question and discuss all the aspects from both the D/s and the BSDM lifestyle openly and in a place they wouldn't get chastised. DKW and i knew we would take heat for the three Diary entries and this collar blog, He is use to it, and by association i had also became a target.

Today i have to pack. i leave my new Master in just a few hours to fly home and prepared to have HIM move in with me. He perfers to come south were it is warmer in the winter. Who could blame Him. i need to go clean out some closets, and get some stuff to GoodWill to make room.

There will be more blogs and other discussions. i'm glad you all enjoyed these.


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My Collar