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Contest Part 8 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes

posted 4/18/2008 8:22:46 AM |
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  Wordsofwit

I will be posting over 40 geriatric jokes, four per day, over the course next week or more. I had began posting them on Friday, the 11th. You can vote for the ones that you find quite funny. You can vote for all four if you like.

I will admit that only about 15 of the 40 would get my vote. The series has already began being posted. You may vote for as many or as few as you like. You don't have to rank them in any kind of order. The jokes will be numbered to make it easy. All you have to do to vote is indicate the joke number(s) in your comment. If you made a comment on the previous posts, that does not count as a vote unless you cite the number (1-4)

If you have one that you want to enter, email it to me. A week after the last group is posted, I will post a blog featuring the top ten vote getters.

If you want to see the geriatric joke blogs already posted. It will be easier to access them through my profile. Have fun!
_______________________________________________________________

#1 - An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, recently moved to Texas. Ray has
always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one
day, he buys them, wears them home walking proudly.

He walks into the house and says to his wife, "Notice anything different
about me?"

Bessie look him over, "Nope."

Frustrated, Ray storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back
into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a
little louder this time, "notice anything different now??"

Bessie looks up and says, "What's different? It's hanging down
today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again
tomorrow."

Furious, Ray yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE?
IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"

To which Bessie replies, "Should of bought a hat."

_______________________________________________________________

#2 - Chuck and Larry,  two  elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day Larry didn't show up. Chuck didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Larry  hadn't shown up for a week or so,Chuck  really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Chuck  didn't know where Larry lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. 
 A month had passed, and Chuck figured he had seen the last of  Larry, but one day,  Chuck approached the park and -- lo and behold --there sat  Larry!  Chuck was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.  Then he said, 'For crying out loud  Larry, what in the world happened to you?'

Larry replied, 'I have been in jail.'
'Jail?' cried Chuck. 'What in the world for?'
'Well,'  Larry said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometime go?'
Yeah,' said Chuck , 'I remember her. What about her?' 

'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'-- and the judge gave me 30 days for perjury."

_______________________________________________________________

#3 - It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl.

After a year she went into the hospital to give birth.

The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?"

He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running."

The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, "You really are amazing. How do you do it?"

He again said, "You've got to keep the old motor running."

The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said, "You must be quite a man."

He responded, "You've got to keep that old motor running."

The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil, this one's black!"

_______________________________________________________________

#4 - An elderly doctor had acquired a specialization and only performed circumcisions. He had kept the removed foreskins from each procedure. Over the many years of his practice, he had accumulated many and felt that he had surely set a record for the largest number of procedures. He decided to contact a taxidermist to commission the foreskins being fashioned into something to commemorate his accomplishment. He had asked the taxidermist to use his imagination in doing so. A couple of weeks later the taxidermist came by and presented the doctor with a very detailed beautiful coin purse. The doctor said that he was impressed but felt that it was rather small. The taxidermist agreed but pointed out that if you gently rubbed or stroked it, it turned into a briefcase.

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by Wordsofwit:
Rerun Joke Theory
Gone But Not Forgotten? Not Necessarily!
Cast the First Stone - Tommy
Coffee Calamity
Contest - Top Ten Geriatric Jokes Final Results
Rerun Jokes - a Partial Remedy
Is He a Player or is it Sour Grapes From Her?
Women and the Change of Life
Contest Part 12 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 11 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 10 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 9 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 8 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 7 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 6 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 5 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 4 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Geriatric Jokes Part 3
Geriatric Jokes Part 2
Geriatric Jokes Part 1
Whales - My FAVORITE Joke
Kan U Spell - Survey
The First Thing that You Did to Get Sent to the Principal’s Office? - Tommy
Guys' Profiles and Essay Responses...the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly


Comments:

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Wordsofwit

Apr 18 @ 8:24AM  
Number 4 for me.
ThePurpleProphet

Apr 18 @ 8:41AM  
I also pick number 4. Number 2 was too sad to be funny. I'm a very emotional man. Hear that women. I'm a very emotional man.
themama

Apr 18 @ 9:02AM  
yep #4 it is...
fantasyfactory

Apr 18 @ 9:07AM  
Gotta go with #4.....
nawtikitty

Apr 18 @ 9:13AM  
Numbers 1 & 2

NachoBaby

Apr 18 @ 10:23AM  
Number 1 has long been a fave of mine. I think of it every time G wags his wiener at me..
Scottishtease

Apr 18 @ 1:55PM  
Gotta be no 2. wit,
Playful

Apr 18 @ 4:00PM  
#3 no idea why. #1 was a good one too
sugarnspice005

Apr 18 @ 7:53PM  
#2 and #4 for me...those cracked me up!
soft_touch938

Apr 21 @ 10:06PM  
#2....unexpected punchline....love those!
Nathanial

Apr 25 @ 12:19AM  
1 and 2

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Contest Part 8 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes