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Polyana and Just say NO

posted 4/18/2008 2:40:14 AM |
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tagged: rambling

I've been feeling VERY agitated today for various reasons. One obvious, and the other not so obvious. A few moments ago while writing about a past incident to an acquaintance on here, I realized that it was 21 years ago tomorrow that a judge gave me my life back. For 12 years prior to that, I was married to a narcissistic, argumentative, downright mean woman. She wasn't always like that....... but that's part of the carrot and stick technique. Someone like that will treat you as nice as can be as a way of getting what they want. Eventually, that gives way to punishment and control to accomplish the same goal. But I digress.

What I was recalling was the first time I hung up on my ex. It was a few weeks after the divorce.... we were talking on the phone, and she was cussing and yelling up a storm. In the middle of that I had a revelation! I did NOT have to take this crap any more. I calmly told her that IF she did not stop yelling and talk to me calmly, I would hang up. She yelled again. *Click* Oh my gosh it was FREEING. What RELIEF ! ! She called me back 2 min later, yelled a couple words and hung up on me. She could not resist having the "last word". I actually laughed. The chains were broken and I was a free man. I had to hang up one more time again a few weeks later but she got the message. No more would I suffer verbal abuse.

I've been online 10 years now. When I first got online I started hanging out in yahoo chat. (AMD reminds me a little of that.) At first, I wandered the rooms for a while. Watching, listening..... venturing a few words....... and before you knew it, I had made a couple friends and we'd meet up and form our own little community in the sea of all those chatters. Occasionally some moron would come into the room and start annoying the crap out of everyone. One of the old timers told us to click on their name and then click "ignore". SHAZAM! They ceased to exist! That was even better than hanging up on my ex because she could always call back, but the moron was gone for good. (At least, as that handle they were.) It's pretty difficult to ignore the drunk on the next barstool. But in cyberspace, we don't have to take any crap off of anyone. Peace and quiet is only a *click* away.

I've always been an optimist. I like to believe there is some good in everyone. I remember the story about the little boy who REALLY wanted a pony for his birthday. It was all he talked about. Well, his folks did not have room for a pony in the yard, and did not have the money either. So.... they figured they would get him a really nice bicycle and that would have to do. So, they got a new bike with a bell, lights, saddle bags....... every option they could think of and hid it in the garage for his birthday that Sunday. Incidentally, they talked to a local farmer about getting some manure for the garden and he agreed to deliver a load on Saturday. Sunday came and after the boy blew out the candles on his cake, they told him that his present was in the back yard. They watched him run out the door, look around....... and then run........ right past the bike to the manure pile where he started digging. Puzzled, the parents asked him what was he doing? He replied....... well, with this large of a pile of poop, there MUST be a pony in here SOMEWHERE.
So........ while there may be some good in everyone........ I"m just not going to dig through a pile of poop to find it.

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post a comment!


Apr 18 @ 3:51AM  
Very good analogy...I've been practicing that for the last few months...the babblers keep babbling about how right they are and how everyone else is so very I just go click and they majically disappear

Apr 18 @ 5:55AM  
Your blog really struck a chord with me. Been separated for nearly two years now.

My soon-to-be ex and I were discussing something privately before going back in to talk to the attorney. He started arguing about something petty and I just looked at him. It dawned on me that he was starting a fight like he missed it, it was almost like for old times sake. It seemed so incredibly sick that someone could actually LIKE fighting.

I stopped it right there, and calmly got things back to the original discussion. I swear that every time we talk he tries to engage me in a good screaming match because he misses it so much. It drives him nuts that I won;t fight with him.

I really cherish my peace and quiet and happiness these days.

A greenie for you!


Apr 18 @ 6:29AM  
Great blog, slo!

Apr 18 @ 7:33AM  
There are some people on here that I wouldn't miss if they canceled, but I would certainly notice that they were gone.

Apr 18 @ 7:53AM  
I've always been an optimist. I like to believe there is some good in everyone.

I just said something like this the other day...But you know, even when the bad is so "out there", I still try to find the good in a person and usually do....which explains some of my past boyfriends! (I'm serious!!!)

Good blog, S-Man!

Apr 18 @ 8:50AM  
Good blog! Thank you!

Apr 18 @ 8:53AM  
I got a nasty email last night from a Polyana. I simply hung up (blocked, deleted) on the troll. Unfortunately, there's no ignore button here. Unless they start their own forums or blogs, where we can make the conscious choice read or not, we can't avoid them.

I too am very much the optimist and try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I know there's some really miserable people out there, pissed at the universe and I understand for many of them, things may have happened beyond their control that changed their lives forever. Illnesses, accidents, handicaps, loneliness, the loss of child, etc. Still, it's no excuse for their behavior. My own patience and kindness can only go so far.

Apr 18 @ 9:45AM  
we can make the conscious choice read or not

Excellent blog!!!

You smart man

Apr 18 @ 10:09AM  
Sigh, I am Pollyanna, always lookin for that bright side, the silver lining, the door that opens when one is slammed in my face. Sadly.. I'm usually disappointed but.. hey I keep lookin.

May 8 @ 12:02PM  
Great blog...been there, done that and you put it in a very good perspective. Thanks

May 8 @ 12:43PM  
Yes , It is wonderful to block and delete . I`ve used it many times on this site . Sometimes people cannot take the hint . I wish we did have it in the real world where if someone starts something you can say ....shooo and they leave ... Good blog .

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Polyana and Just say NO