AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

Contest Part 7 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes

posted 4/17/2008 10:46:23 AM |
2 kudosgive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
tagged: joke
  Wordsofwit

I will be posting over 40 geriatric jokes, four per day, over the course next week or more. I had began posting them on Friday, the 11th. You can vote for the ones that you find quite funny. You can vote for all four if you like.

I will admit that only about 15 of the 40 would get my vote. The series has already began being posted. You may vote for as many or as few as you like. You don't have to rank them in any kind of order. The jokes will be numbered to make it easy. All you have to do to vote is indicate the joke number(s) in your comment. If you made a comment on the previous posts, that does not count as a vote unless you cite the number (1-4)

If you have one that you want to enter, email it to me. A week after the last group is posted, I will post a blog featuring the top ten vote getters.

If you want to see the geriatric joke blogs already posted. It will be easier to access them through my profile. Have fun!
______________________________________________________________.

#1 - Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a Flower Show was in progress.
One leaned over and said to the other, "Life is so darned boring; we never have any fun anymore.
For $5.00 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid Flower Show!"
"You're on!" said the other old lady holding up a $5.00 bill.
The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely nude, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the Flower Show.
Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall followed by loud applause and shrill whistling.
The naked and smiling old lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering crowd.
"What happened?" asked her waiting friend.
"I won 1st Prize as Best Dried Arrangement!"
_______________________________________________________________

#2 - This old guy wobbles into an ice cream shop. He has a hard time walking. He is hunched over and in obvious pain.

He goes up to the counter and says, "Banana split, please."

The lady at the counter replies, "Crushed nuts?"

The old man says, "No, arthritis!"
_______________________________________________________________

#3 - Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

_______________________________________________________________

#4 - An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly checkup. The Doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 Year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began.....
"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never
misses a season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a
bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it was his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.

Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. "Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.

The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly"

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by Wordsofwit:
Gone But Not Forgotten? Not Necessarily!
Cast the First Stone - Tommy
Coffee Calamity
Contest - Top Ten Geriatric Jokes Final Results
Rerun Jokes - a Partial Remedy
Is He a Player or is it Sour Grapes From Her?
Women and the Change of Life
Contest Part 12 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 11 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 10 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 9 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 8 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 7 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 6 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 5 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 4 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Geriatric Jokes Part 3
Geriatric Jokes Part 2
Geriatric Jokes Part 1
Whales - My FAVORITE Joke
Kan U Spell - Survey
The First Thing that You Did to Get Sent to the Principal’s Office? - Tommy
Guys' Profiles and Essay Responses...the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
"Leave it to Beaver" and Poop Butt Chicken - Tommy


Comments:

post a comment!

Wordsofwit

Apr 17 @ 10:47AM  
Today, number two gets my vote in a somewhat weak field.
fantasyfactory

Apr 17 @ 10:56AM  
Nope! Liked #3 better!
Sunshine79

Apr 17 @ 11:01AM  
#1 gave me a good laugh!!
sugarnspice005

Apr 17 @ 11:12AM  
I vote for #2 and #3...the condom one was hilarious...just can't get the picture of the stunned pharmacist outta my mind when the old lady tells them they want a condom to fit a camel.


soft_touch938

Apr 17 @ 11:47AM  
# 4...punch line was unexpected...I like surprise endings.
NachoBaby

Apr 17 @ 12:05PM  
#2 all the way
xquseme

Apr 17 @ 12:37PM  
Gotta be #4! I can picture my doc's face after giving that little explanation!
Scottishtease

Apr 17 @ 12:52PM  
just can't get the picture of the stunned pharmacist outta my mind when the old lady tells them they want a condom to fit a camel.

I agree completely with No.3 that's why I like it as well
nawtikitty

Apr 17 @ 1:06PM  
Numbers 1 & 2
themama

Apr 17 @ 1:18PM  
#3 gets my vote that is just to funny.....
Playful

Apr 17 @ 3:48PM  
I liked # 3
ThePurpleProphet

Apr 17 @ 4:05PM  
I would like to place my vote to the #4 horse, sir.
Nathanial

Apr 25 @ 12:03AM  
Definately 3 and 4! Hillarious.

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB02
Contest Part 7 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes