I will be posting over 40 geriatric jokes, four per day, over the course next week or more. I had began posting them on Friday, the 11th. You can vote for the ones that you find quite funny. You can vote for all four if you like.
I will admit that only about 15 of the 40 would get my vote. The series has already began being posted. You may vote for as many or as few as you like. You don't have to rank them in any kind of order. The jokes will be numbered to make it easy. All you have to do to vote is indicate the joke number(s) in your comment. If you made a comment on the previous posts, that does not count as a vote unless you cite the number (1-4)
If you have one that you want to enter, email it to me. A week after the last group is posted, I will post a blog featuring the top ten vote getters.
If you want to see the geriatric joke blogs already posted. It will be easier to access them through my profile. Have fun!
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#1 - Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a Flower Show was in progress.
One leaned over and said to the other, "Life is so darned boring; we never have any fun anymore.
For $5.00 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid Flower Show!"
"You're on!" said the other old lady holding up a $5.00 bill.
The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely nude, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the Flower Show.
Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall followed by loud applause and shrill whistling.
The naked and smiling old lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering crowd.
"What happened?" asked her waiting friend.
"I won 1st Prize as Best Dried Arrangement!"
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#2 - This old guy wobbles into an ice cream shop. He has a hard time walking. He is hunched over and in obvious pain.
He goes up to the counter and says, "Banana split, please."
The lady at the counter replies, "Crushed nuts?"
The old man says, "No, arthritis!"
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#3 - Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Maude: What in the hell is that?
Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Maude: Where did you get it?
Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."
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#4 - An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly checkup. The Doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 Year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began.....
"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never
misses a season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a
bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it was his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.
Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. "Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly"
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| Contest Part 7 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes |
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