A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra. Anxious to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work. However, in his excitement he leaves the package open on the table and his pet parrot eats all of the pills. Seeing what happened and panicking, the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off. Unfortunately the man's own viagra kicks in just as his wife comes home & it is hours before he remembers the parrot. He runs & looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat & totally exhausted. "What happened?" the man asks, "you were in there for hours & yet you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?" The parrot pants, "Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs on a frozen chicken?"
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A woman walks into a pharmacy & asks, "Do you have Viagra?"
"Yes, I do," the pharmacist replies.
"Does it really work?" she asks.
He chuckles and says, "It certainly does."
"Can you get it over the counter?" she asks.
"If I take two of them," he answers.
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What happened to the man that died on an overdose of viagra?
They couldn't close the coffin.
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A guy walks into a drugstore and says to the pharmacist, “Listen, I’m having three girls over tonight. I need help.”
The pharmacist hands the guy Viagra Extra Strength and says, “Take all these and you’ll go berserk for 12 hours.”
The next day the same guy walks into the drugstore, limps up to the pharmacist, and drops his pants. His penis is all bruised and tied in a knot, and skin is hanging off in some places. He says, “Gimme a tube of Icy Hot.”
The pharmacist replies in horror, “You can’t put Icy Hot on that!”
“No, it’s for my wrists,” the guy moans. “The girls never showed up.”
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read more blogs!
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Zaftik
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Apr 16 @ 7:41PM
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Scottishtease
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Apr 16 @ 7:44PM
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I know it, you should have seen how long it took me to write these can't stop laughing...thanks Zaftik :>) Tease.
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RedShien
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Apr 16 @ 7:47PM
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 goods ones!
May I add another?
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zaralyon
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Apr 16 @ 7:52PM
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Thank you Tease.
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GSpotGina
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Apr 16 @ 7:55PM
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Thanks, Tease. Those were good. I just realized I still haven't met a man who takes Viagra. (Down boy, down!)
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Scottishtease
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Apr 16 @ 7:56PM
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Thank you Tease.
You are welcome Zara. chuckle. :>)
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Wordsofwit
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Apr 16 @ 7:56PM
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THese are pretty good. Kudo
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Scottishtease
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Apr 16 @ 7:59PM
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Thanks, Tease. Those were good. I just realized I still haven't met a man who takes Viagra. (Down boy, down!)
Grabs the nearest broom, W H A C K !!!  not til i'm good and ready chuckle.
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Scottishtease
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Apr 16 @ 8:02PM
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goods ones!
May I add another?
Yes of course, add away. Everyone is welcome to add there own funnies...add away you guys chuckle..NO they don't have to be the same type either. :>)
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RedShien
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Apr 16 @ 8:04PM
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Why do they give the men in nursing homes hot chocolate and viagra before bed?
The hot chocolate helps them sleep and the viagra keeps them from rolling off the bed
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Scottishtease
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Apr 16 @ 8:07PM
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Why do they give the men in nursing homes hot chocolate and viagra before bed?
The hot chocolate helps them sleep and the viagra keeps them from rolling off the bed
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ThePurpleProphet
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Apr 16 @ 8:34PM
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Hilarious!!
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NachoBaby
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Apr 16 @ 8:45PM
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Ok this one is NOT a joke.. OHh.. but I wish it were..
My mum who is 20 years older than me.. is marrying her sweetheart who is hmm 15 years older than she... they came to visit us and bring me the big captains bed that my pops had built.. since it's at least a 6 hour drive, 8 or 9 if my mom is in a rig cuz.. you know, gotta stop and pee every forty minutes and you can't go over 35.. ok that's another blog.. anyway..
So they decide to spend the night in a nearby hotel. I go over the next morning to bring em to breakfast and they aren't even out of bed yet.. (this is a woman whose eyes slam open the moment the sun peaks over the horizon) she grins at me and whispers.. *4 times! viagra works!*
Now then.. aren't you glad I shared that mortifying moment witchy'all?
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StraddleMyNose
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Apr 16 @ 10:23PM
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Scottishtease
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Apr 16 @ 10:36PM
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Ok this one is NOT a joke.. OHh.. but I wish it were..
My mum who is 20 years older than me.. is marrying her sweetheart who is hmm 15 years older than she... they came to visit us and bring me the big captains bed that my pops had built.. since it's at least a 6 hour drive, 8 or 9 if my mom is in a rig cuz.. you know, gotta stop and pee every forty minutes and you can't go over 35.. ok that's another blog.. anyway..
So they decide to spend the night in a nearby hotel. I go over the next morning to bring em to breakfast and they aren't even out of bed yet.. (this is a woman whose eyes slam open the moment the sun peaks over the horizon) she grins at me and whispers.. *4 times! viagra works!*
Now then.. aren't you glad I shared that mortifying moment witchy'all?
OH my god, that would have been so embarrassing..I mean you know your parents have had sex but to actually talk about it with them shudder...I feel your pain nacho.
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Sunshine79
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Apr 16 @ 10:47PM
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Oh geezus...I just choked on my dinner....LOL!!! 
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Scottishtease
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Apr 16 @ 10:54PM
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Oh geezus...I just choked on my dinner....LOL!!!
Hey if you need some "help" i can do the hiny lick maneuver oops i mean Heimlich maneuver if you need chuckle.
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lonesomedove615
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Apr 17 @ 2:33PM
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That was some funny stuff! Are they yours or did you find them?
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