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Contest Part 6 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes

posted 4/16/2008 10:39:14 AM |
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tagged: joke
  Wordsofwit

I will be posting about 40 geriatric jokes, four per day, over the course next week or more. I had began posting them on Friday, the 11th. You can vote for the ones that you find quite funny. You can vote for all four if you like.

I will admit that only about 15 of the 40 would get my vote. The series has already began being posted. You may vote for as many or as few as you like. You don't have to rank them in any kind of order. The jokes will be numbered to make it easy. All you have to do to vote is indicate the joke number(s) in your comment. If you made a comment on the previous posts, that does not count as a vote unless you cite the number (1-4)

If you have one that you want to enter, email it to me. A week after the last group is posted, I will post a blog featuring the top ten vote getters.

If you want to see the geriatric joke blogs already posted. It will be easier to access them through my profile. Have fun!

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#1 - A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.
On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because
they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion thirty years younger...

Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

_______________________________________________________________

#2 - At 85 years of age, Wally married Lou Anne, a lovely 25 year old.
Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding she and Wally should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Wally, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.

All goes well, Wally takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep. After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Wally. Again he is ready for more "action". Somewhat surprised, Lou Anne consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Wally kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it, Wally is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more "action". And, once again they enjoy each other. But as Wally gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Wally." Wally, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says: "You mean I was here already?"

_______________________________________________________________

#3 - A middle age man passed away and stipulated that his mother was to have custody of his pet parrot. She was a very proper woman in her eighties and, though she did not want the parrot, she would honor his request. For the first few days the bird was quiet due to the new surroundings. But once the parrot got used to its new home, it began to talk and the old lady was horrified as every other word was an obscenity.

She immediately scolded the potty mouthed parrot. "You watch your language or I'll give you something you'll remember! Do you understand me?" The bird said nothing.

A few hours later the bird began to talk like a sailor once again. This time the old lady went in and splashed it with a tumbler of cold water. "You watch your language or I'll give you something you'll remember! Do you understand me?" The parrot remained silent.

That night the bird started cussing again. The old lady grabbed it and threw it in the refrigerator. After a half hour, she took it out. "You watch your language or I'll give you something you'll remember! Do you understand me?" The bird didn't answer.

The next morning the parrot unleashed a string of obscenities. The elderly woman grabbed it and threw it in the freezer, leaving it there for an hour. Then she opened the freezer door. "You watch your language or I'll give you something you'll remember! Do you understand me?"

"Yes," the parrot replied. "I understand, but I have a question. What did the turkey do?"

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by Wordsofwit:
Cast the First Stone - Tommy
Coffee Calamity
Contest - Top Ten Geriatric Jokes Final Results
Rerun Jokes - a Partial Remedy
Is He a Player or is it Sour Grapes From Her?
Women and the Change of Life
Contest Part 12 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 11 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 10 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 9 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 8 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 7 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 6 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 5 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 4 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Geriatric Jokes Part 3
Geriatric Jokes Part 2
Geriatric Jokes Part 1
Whales - My FAVORITE Joke
Kan U Spell - Survey
The First Thing that You Did to Get Sent to the Principal’s Office? - Tommy
Guys' Profiles and Essay Responses...the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
"Leave it to Beaver" and Poop Butt Chicken - Tommy
Assorted Jokes


Comments:

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Wordsofwit

Apr 16 @ 10:39AM  
#4 - It was entertainment night at the senior center, and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.

As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he announced, 'Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. 'I want each one of you to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations.'

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, 'Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch...'

The crowd was mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch until suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces...

'SHIT!' said the hypnotist!

It took three days to clean up the senior center
Wordsofwit

Apr 16 @ 10:40AM  
Number three gets my vote.
fantasyfactory

Apr 16 @ 10:43AM  
#2
sugarnspice005

Apr 16 @ 10:45AM  
I vote for #3 and #4..those were hilarious!
itsallforfun

Apr 16 @ 10:46AM  
#3
nawtikitty

Apr 16 @ 10:48AM  
NachoBaby

Apr 16 @ 10:54AM  
# 2 AND # 4 FOR ME.
themama

Apr 16 @ 11:03AM  
#3 and #4 get my vote today...
NachoBaby

Apr 16 @ 11:18AM  
I think that I like the Alzheimer's jokes.. cuz..



ummm..


what?
Playful

Apr 16 @ 11:41AM  
#1 and time to get busy for the day.
Have a good one
Dominus

Apr 16 @ 3:22PM  
Number 2...maybe the guy's got a memory thing, but his wife is sure gonna be a happy woman!
nawtikitty

Apr 16 @ 4:33PM  
#2 & #3
Sunshine79

Apr 17 @ 10:01AM  
Love # 3.....Poor parrot...I'd ask the same damn thing!!
soft_touch938

Apr 17 @ 11:44AM  
# 3....although I've heard it before it still makes me laugh!
ThePurpleProphet

Apr 18 @ 9:24AM  
#4 is just too funny.
Nathanial

Apr 25 @ 2:15AM  
#2

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Contest Part 6 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes