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Response to "Because I'm A man"

posted 4/15/2008 3:26:25 PM |
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tagged: sex, new, joke
  straightup_9

Guys, I know...I shouldn't, but I gotta let the cat out of the bag...

Ladies, I know you don't want to hear it...but here is the TRUTH of the matter.......

Because I'm a man, When you see me fiddling with a coat hanger in sub-zero weather trying to unlock a car door, It's because I'm trying to help out a distraught woman, who is a total stranger, and who does not want to call her husband, because she did the same thing last week.....As a man, I always carry a spare key, in my pocket.......


Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine, because she told me at the supper table that she barely made it home this morning, from the mall, and she has absolutely, positively, GOT to have the car tomorrow morning. Since all the parts stores are now closed, i'm hoping to spy a loose connection, or something...If another man shows up, we will then drink a couple of beers, as a form of sympathy and understanding.


Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I will allow someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed because I know this is the quickest way to full recovery, I will NOT mope around the house, in my bathrobe, moaning that I "can't get sick" or "I just have too much to do to go to bed" while insisting on doing everything for myself. and spreading my germs throughout the house, so everyone can share....

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread, or any other FOOD item necessary for the health and well being of my family. DO NOT ask me to get Tampons, Pads, Hair Color, Shampoo, Soap, Nail Polish, etc...You will not be pleased with either the brand, size, or price of any of these items purchased by me.


Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, and attempting to repair it, because you will insist on purchasing a new one rather than calling a repairman. This new one will NOT match any other appliance we own, thereby eventually resulting in the replacement of ALL appliances, working or not.


Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. Otherwise, at any key moment in the program, You will decide to see what is on another channel. Followed by the comment "OH, I'm sorry, were you watching that?"


Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. If I want you to know, I'll tell you. I'm quite sure you don't tell me everything you think about, and I respect your privacy enough not to ask.


Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, because, this intrudes upon the time I have with YOU. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is Okay; I don't need to see it. I am already aware of the fact that it will meet or exceed whatever I got MY Mother.

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the film. If I'm smiling and slowly shaking my head as we walk out of the theater, I didn't...and if you happen to notice a serious look on my face, then I did. We were BOTH there, we BOTH saw it...end of discussion.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. You aren't going to accept my opinion anyway, unless it's negative, then suddenly, I'm an expert on women's fashion.

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2008, I will share equally in the housework. Although I fully realize that today is Thursday, and there is a pile of laundry to do, and even though on Monday, while you were at the mall, I washed, folded, and put away 3 loads, that doesn't count,because I didn't do it under your direct observation.

And one more thing,......Because I'm a man, I look at other women....and when you catch me checking them out, not once,ever, in the entire annals of man history, have I ever used the justification of "Well, you are always checking out other guys, Why can't I look now and then?"......'nuff said.

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   read more blogs!

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Pun Time...Ok, ok, Pun "Wannabes"...but I giggled......
Speaking of Women........
OK, OK, OK......One More...
Another Joke, Just Cuz I'm in the mood.....
I Just Love the Effect I have on Women....LMAO
Do You Remember.........?
All You Ladies Gonna LOVE This.....
WTF Happened?.....
Being A Man.....
Now Taking Applications for Franchises.....act quick b4 they are gone
How To Use an ATM.....
The Snake Hunt.....reality sucks....
Response to "Because I'm A man"
Another "cut-n-paste"...enjoy
Riddle me this........
Oh no He did-ent.....
Booty....large?
Spelling Lesson....
Discounts......(joke)
Free at Last..!!!
Cut 'N' Paste?
Death and Sex....
An Inquiring Mind......can drive you nuts....
The Headache.........
Pregnant Turkey?......


Comments:

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girlcountry

Apr 15 @ 3:36PM  
Loved it! Great blog!
Wordsofwit

Apr 15 @ 3:42PM  
I understand your principles, but do not really relate to the specifics. I won't dwell on it. But take this blog and the one that inspired it, add them up, divide by two, and there you will find my POV. I appreciate your perspective.

Let me add one additional point. I only need one item to fix anything...a telephone. The work of others comes with a warranty, mine does not. I have learned to follow the line from a Dirty Harry movie, "A man needs to know his limitations." Some problems around the house I can solve. Some problems around the house I can compound.

I know just enough about a lot of things to be dangerous, not only to the endeavor but also my pocketbook.
DarkDesires99

Apr 15 @ 3:47PM  
So what are you thinking about?????

Cool blog!
canuhelpme258

Apr 15 @ 3:49PM  
homygods that was good!
1bunny629

Apr 15 @ 3:56PM  
What are you wearing?
tassie1

Apr 15 @ 3:57PM  
because your a man...you are so gonna get roasted alive with this one
kudo's for sure
straightup_9

Apr 15 @ 4:05PM  
What are you wearing?

What I have on.....
straightup_9

Apr 15 @ 4:12PM  
So what are you thinking about?????

Poppin' the hood on the car, and having a beer....
NachoBaby

Apr 15 @ 4:14PM  
Can I come poke around under the hood with ya? I'll bring the beer.
Sunshinegal35

Apr 15 @ 4:16PM  

This was great! I learned A LOT!
straightup_9

Apr 15 @ 4:28PM  
Can I come poke around under the hood with ya? I'll bring the beer.

Sure...Just make sure it's COLD...I never drink warm beer ...unless, of course, I run out of the cold stuff....
patrick2369

Apr 15 @ 4:38PM  
Good come back

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Response to "Because I'm A man"