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Contest Part 4 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes

posted 4/14/2008 10:16:10 AM |
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  Wordsofwit

I will be posting about 40 geriatric jokes over the course next week or more. I had began posting them on Friday, the 11th. You can vote for the ones that you find quite funny.

I will admit that only about 15 of the 40 would get my vote. The series has already began being posted. You may vote for as many or as few as you like. You don't have to rank them in any kind of order. The jokes will be numbered to make it easy. All you have to do to vote is indicate the joke number(s) in your comment. If you made a comment on the previous posts, that does not count as a vote unless you cite the number (1-4)

If you have one that you want to enter, email it to me. A week after the last group is posted, I will post a blog featuring the top ten vote getters.

If you want to see the geriatric joke blogs already posted. It will be easier to access them through my profile. Have fun!

The group of four for today has a quasi theme, geriatrics and driving.

_______________________________________________________________

#1 A little old man and a little old lady, who was hard of hearing, went for a drive one Sunday afternoon. After pulling onto the freeway a policeman pulled them over. "Can I see your drivers license?" asked the policeman to the little old man.
"What, what did he say?" said the little old lady.
"He said he wanted to see my drivers license." replied the little old man.
" I see your from Monmouth, N.J." observed the policeman.
"What, what did he say?" said the little old lady.
"Said he sees we're from Monmouth" replied the little old man.
"I use to date a girl from Monmouth", shared the policeman, "She was the worst piece of ass I ever had!"
"What, what did he say?" said the little old lady.
"Said he thinks he knows you!" replied the little old man.

_______________________________________________________________

#2 As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone
rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the
wrong way on the 280. Please be careful!"
"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's all of them!"

_______________________________________________________________

#3 On the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back -- wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" Ma'am," the officer replies, you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "Before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks. Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

_______________________________________________________________


#4 Everyday an elderly woman, living in a retirement home, would go for a ride on her wheelchair throughout the facility. Almost everyday, an elderly gentleman, a retired police officer, would stop her, and then write her a ticket on note paper for some imagined ‘minor traffic infraction’. One day the woman had had enough of this nonsense and decided to speed away. As a result, the elderly gentleman vigorously pursued her on foot, as they both dashed and weaved in and out of rooms, around carts, and other residents. Finally he caught up to her and pulled her over. "Have you been drinking?" he asked. "The way you were driving and weaving indicates to me that you have." He unbuckled his pants and dropped his drawers. He then continued in an firm voice while holding his cock, “I am going have to ask you to take a breathalyzer.”


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   read more blogs!

Blogs by Wordsofwit:
Contest - Top Ten Geriatric Jokes Final Results
Rerun Jokes - a Partial Remedy
Is He a Player or is it Sour Grapes From Her?
Women and the Change of Life
Contest Part 12 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 11 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 10 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 9 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 8 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 7 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 6 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 5 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest Part 4 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Contest - Funniest Geriatric Jokes
Geriatric Jokes Part 3
Geriatric Jokes Part 2
Geriatric Jokes Part 1
Whales - My FAVORITE Joke
Kan U Spell - Survey
The First Thing that You Did to Get Sent to the Principal’s Office? - Tommy
Guys' Profiles and Essay Responses...the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
"Leave it to Beaver" and Poop Butt Chicken - Tommy
Assorted Jokes
Uncommon Denominators
Female 40-60 AMD Demographics


Comments:

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Wordsofwit

Apr 14 @ 10:16AM  
Number 4 gets my vote!
itsallforfun

Apr 14 @ 10:22AM  
Yes number 4 gets my vote to!!! That was funny!!
themama

Apr 14 @ 10:33AM  
They are all good...
But got to agree #4 gets my vote too...........
ThePurpleProphet

Apr 14 @ 10:40AM  
I'm putting my vote on number 1.
NachoBaby

Apr 14 @ 10:57AM  
#2 did it for me today. I laugh.. because I've been there.
harleybadboy

Apr 14 @ 12:04PM  
I have to go with # 3 with # 4 a close 2nd.
canuhelpme258

Apr 14 @ 3:36PM  
Homygods.. I'm crying over #3
sundance64

Apr 14 @ 10:05PM  
#2 cracked me up!!
sugarnspice005

Apr 15 @ 10:37AM  
#3 was cute...but #4 gets my vote!
fantasyfactory

Apr 15 @ 11:12AM  
Yup! Definately number four!
Sunshine79

Apr 17 @ 9:58AM  
#4 here for sure....LMAO!!!
soft_touch938

Apr 17 @ 11:10AM  
# 4.....hands down....now if you'll excuse me I need to go blow the coffee outta my nose. Next post I'll not drink coffee and read at the same time...
ThePurpleProphet

Apr 18 @ 9:02AM  
I'm picking number 3 on this one.
Nathanial

Apr 25 @ 2:26AM  
1 and 3

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Contest Part 4 - Funniest Geriatric Jokes