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Divorce Letter (reposted from an email)

posted 4/13/2008 11:48:21 PM |
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  ladybootscooter

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've
been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.

These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you
quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You
ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your
soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything
that connects us as husband and wife.

Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case,
I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia
together!

Have a great life!
----------------------

Dear Ex-Husband -

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you
and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry
from what you've been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and
griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came
to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say
anything if you can't say something nice, I didn 't comment.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with
MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price
tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister
had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.

After all of this, I
still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto
for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.
But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I
guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that
the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich as Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.










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Comments:

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itsallforfun

Apr 13 @ 11:51PM  
themama

Apr 13 @ 11:55PM  
Just as funny the second time around....
StraddleMyNose

Apr 14 @ 12:33AM  
tassie1

Apr 14 @ 1:38AM  
ha,ha luv it .
canuhelpme258

Apr 14 @ 2:12AM  
that was good.
whosyerdaddy

Apr 14 @ 2:20AM  
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.
I hope that's not a problem

talk about screwing yourself
borty293

Apr 14 @ 4:43AM  
Ain't married life grand...
zaralyon

Apr 14 @ 5:58AM  
Good one, now I gotta send that one to the perverts at work!
ynot7769

Apr 14 @ 6:24AM  
ain't that a fine kick in da nutz
fantasyfactory

Apr 14 @ 8:52AM  
Good one!
loveableone

Apr 14 @ 9:18AM  
NachoBaby

Apr 14 @ 10:46AM  
They're movin to West Virginia? So her sister Carla who used to be Carl is actually a sheep?

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Divorce Letter (reposted from an email)