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Does this make me a Dom?

posted 4/10/2008 4:24:47 AM |
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tagged: dom, sex, dominant, submissive, sub

ok, so I always thought of myself as a switch, because I love being cuffed and told what to do sometimes too...I like a powerful personality in women too. But.......I was looking at someones website (a dom) and I found myself thinking of ways to make her do what I want, and truthfully, utterly dominating her through not physical domination but true mental domination and manipulation....mainly manipulation (which is domination?) I'm the type to get someone to do exactly what I want when I want without ever touching them, anyhow I still like lots of sub type stuff and have always liked certain dom stuff, but maybe I might be just a dom who likes to dominate other doms of weaker mind? I dunno...I enjoy the challenge as much playing games with this sounds so bad. So can anyone tell me what they think? Am I a dom, sub, or a switch (both)?

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Apr 10 @ 5:04AM  
Kinda vague there, and all over the place with this.But since you asked....

First things first. You think yourself a switch. Then you say you love being cuffed, but a Dom site gave you the idea to become a Dom? Then you put Domination and manipulation in the same sentence. To which, neither complements the other. Nor do they run together, Domination has nothing to do with manipulation.

And my personal opinion, but manipulating people is an evil act at face value. Just saying, as you also said you yourself know it sounds bad, so maybe you dont mean it that way.

But to put it bluntly. No one "becomes" a Dom or a sub, or a switch, from reading a website, or form having a few wild bedroom flings. No one can become anything like that, ESPECIALLY in the lifestyle that I myself have been into heavily and seriously for almost 10 years, and am still considering myself a novice at the utter depths it truly entails. If thats the path you truly wish to tread, best to immerse yourself into some deep research, meetings of your local groups, and attend some seminars. For at least a year. Then decide for yourself what you are.

And a piece of serious advice, since you seem to be honestly asking. I wouldn't drop the line "I might be just a dom who likes to dominate other doms of weaker mind" face to face with any. You will certainly get a reception you will not like.

Apr 10 @ 8:34AM  
I have nothing to say except my panties are wet now...thanks!

Apr 10 @ 11:16AM  
Good answer My Dark One. From the reading I've been doing for at least the past 6 months and more intensely since we joined. There is so much information out there that one can't just yourself, Dom, Sub, or Switch.

Lots of good reading material out there, Lots of points of view. Study them all. I'm still a novice, but now I have a great teacher as well.

Good question though. It mean you're thinking and you care.

Apr 10 @ 3:01PM  
I think you are most certainly very young yet and therefore very inexperienced. Perhaps still searching to find your true nature. However as DK so aptly pointed out, manipulation has no place in the lifestyle whatsoever. In the 27+ years that I've been involved in the lifestyle I've yet to meet a true Dom that enjoyed also being Dominated. Submerse yourself deeper, experiment more and give yourself time to truly learn yourself and your needs, before outright declaring yourself to be either/or. Just my opinion but I would consider you more of a switch at this point.

Apr 10 @ 3:16PM  
All or none.. perhaps as others have said just a person seeking your own identity...

Apr 11 @ 4:36AM  
well as darknight so kindly pointed out after I explained myself in an email that I like to top from the bottom and I think he is right. So maybe I'm a switch who likes to top from the bottom when I'm bottoming? Dunno. He pointed out a few things, like that I'm not such a bad guy. Everyone has their kinks. Who's to say what is wrong between two (or more) consenting adults as long as it's safe and sane?

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Does this make me a Dom?