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posted 3/31/2008 11:59:31 AM |
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tagged: relationships, blog, amd

Good choice or bad?
posted 2/11/2008 1:12:58 AM | 1 kudo what's this?
report abuse kudos left: 4

I firmly believe that in life, we all make choices. Some choices that we make are better than others, but with every choice that we make there are certain outcomes that may or may not fit whatever actions that your choice was. for example... I saw a man beating up on his girlfriend, and decided to try to help,

Unfortunately we are all human, so there is a split second where you think about what to do. and figure "something must be done right here and right now"!!! So I pull the guy off of her and allow her to escape, he takes a swing at me. I take a swing at him. Out of nowhere, the very girl that I have went out of my way to help, is now on my back, and digging her fingernails into my eyes, screaming leave my boyfriend alone!!!

Even though I personally have no beef with the guy other than the common knowledge that he is a scumbag for beating on a girl, I am now involved in something that would have otherwise never involved me, had I not tried to help that poor girl getting the snot beat out of her by that guy.

I have to ask... Would it have been a better choice to just walk past, and pretend I didnt hear her screaming and crying and pretend I didnt see what was happening?

Being the person that I am, I think if I was presented with that same situation again, I would probably do just as I did then, hoping that maybe this time, I would actually be helping someone who appreciated the kind of help I was offering. Leave me a comment telling me your thoughts. I would love to read what you all think.

This is a repost of a blog I posted a few months ago. I figure "choices" are a good topic for today. enjoy.

Please if you have an opinion thats fine, thats what the blogs are for, please dont try to jam it down anyones throat though, we are all different, and we all have an opinion, and someone elses opinion may be differenet from mine and yours, but thats why they are opinions, they are not all right, or wrong.

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Mar 31 @ 12:10PM  
To make a long story short and to get straight to the point, I have been in this situation before. I was leaving a bar and noticed a man with a gun pointed at this woman's head. I slowly sneaked up from behind, was able to dis arm the man, we got into a scuffle, and then guess what. The woman has a knife at my throat.

Thank god this is not a situation we are faced with on a daily basis, or are we, but just in different ways.

Mar 31 @ 12:21PM  
How would you know the crazy bitch was going to do something like that? On the other hand, you could very well have saved someone's life and they would probably have been profoundly grateful. I guess those are the risks you take...actually, it's not that uncommon for that sort of behavior to happen. Abused women will often take up for their abuser in such situations. ..or like if they're being arrested, etc. Why? Who knows? Fear of retribution? Losing his income? The Helsinki syndrome (I believe that's what it's called) in a sense, perhaps? too many people are reluctant to get involved, for whatever reason. Fortunately there are some around who still care. If you had beat the ever-living shit outta the guy, I'd have stood by and cheered...and then I would have stayed around and cheered some more if you had beat the shit outta her, too, for having the gall to attack you for trying to help her.

Mar 31 @ 12:28PM  
It’s the Stockholm syndrome.
But is does seem to be a problem with abused women.
To try to do the right thing is never wrong.
The results may not end up the best but to never try to help is wrong too.

Mar 31 @ 12:33PM  
As I stated back then, pertaining to this particular blog, I've seen this happen many times when I managed bars. The "victim" would inevitably turn on the "rescuer" at least 8 out of 10 times!
As to choices, unfortunately hind sight is 20/20. I'm sure we each make choices that we wish later we hadn't made. All part of the learning process.

Mar 31 @ 12:36PM  
This is true....xien so, then you know how this feels as well, yours was much worst than mine, thank god there were no weapons involved

Mar 31 @ 12:39PM  

I know just what you mean. I have been in that situation more than once.
and had the woman attack me for helping her. But I will continue to do the same every time I see a woman being abused.

Mar 31 @ 12:40PM  
yeah actually so will I

Mar 31 @ 1:00PM  
please dont try to jam it down anyones throat

No jamming, I agree...and not opinions, I agree there, too...because I can think of much better things to go down my throat...

Hey, it's a sex site, so I choose some xdc (that would be X-tra Delicious Cock! )


Mar 31 @ 1:04PM  
These days it's a damn tough call to make...

Mainly because of lawsuits! And you'd be amazed by the amount of lawsuits that have come against many people like yourself, who did the very thing you did.

Not only that, but there have been cases where one jumps in, again just as you did...and the person you jump pulls out a gun and shoots you. I have seen this very thing happen!

I was also a bartender for 10 years, and witnessed many instances where a man was beating on his woman...and another jumps in to help...and I've seen these people get the same treatment you did, also seen a few people knifed...and one time it was the woman the person was trying to help that did the stabbing!

However, not only would I have done the very thing you did...I have done it many times! I have also been cuffed and hauled off to jail for getting involved a few these days the cops don't try to figure out who is at fault, they simply arrest all parties involved and let the courts resolve it.

I will NOT tolerate any man hitting a woman!!

BTW, the person who was stabbed by the very woman he was trying to help, was in fact, me!

Mar 31 @ 1:22PM  
wow CC thats F'ed up. but its true the police dont care, theydo just arrest all parties involved. where I live, if you are just attacked by someone, and they hit you, you dont even have to hit them back, you and the person who hit you, get a $1,000.00 fine for fighting in public. Tell me thats not messed up. Kinda reminds me of Eddie Murphy in Beverley Hills cop, when he gets arrested for getting tossed through a window, and says to the police, "I bet if I got thrown out of a moving vehicle, you would arrest me for J-walking"

Mar 31 @ 1:25PM  
*sneaks in to be silly for a moment...*

Kinda reminds me of Eddie Murphy in Beverley Hills cop, when he gets arrested for getting tossed through a window, and says to the police, "I bet if I got thrown out of a moving vehicle, you would arrest me for J-walking"

That's when he's told he's foul-mouthed and he responds, "Foul-mouthed? Fuck you!" I love that part!


Mar 31 @ 1:34PM  
You're right IS fucked up! Even while I was a bartender/bouncer, (I did each) and part of my job was to break up fights...I had been cuffed, arrested, AND given a few fines in my time for DC!

Now what the hell is that all about...I work at a bar, part of my job is to keep the partons in check...and if a fight breaks out, I am expected to break it up...and I end up being arrested and given a disorderly conduct fine?!

In one instance where I had broken up a fight...I had given one guy a broken nose...and the son-of-a-bitch filed a damn lawsuit against me, as well as the bar!

Needless to say he lost his case...but the fact the courts even allowed tax dollars to be wasted on the lawsuit was a fucking crime!

And all that along with the being stabbed by some woman I was trying to her man was pounding on her...and she stabs ME...all those reasons were a small part of why I quit bartending/bouncing. I simply didn't need the matter how great the tips were!

Mar 31 @ 1:46PM  
I love that movie. (in a high voice) get the fuck outta here! and I crack up laughing every time I here Serge say, "no seriusly...I made it myself"

Mar 31 @ 1:48PM  
Yeah CC these days, it dont pay sometimes to be the good guy, or even just a nice guy. Thats why I always say, "No good deed goes unpunished"

Mar 31 @ 1:59PM  
Yes, I would have done it the same way. And have done it already. And will continue. Probably will go to jail one day for it. But...better jail, than reading later in the papers that someone was murdered.or whatever. I couldn't live with that.

And personally, I would have put him in the ICU regardless of what she was saying. You DONT hit least not around me. My own mother was the type to stay with abusers. And I got to witness that firsthand. And cannot tell you how many times I beat the total fuck out of their asses on her behalf, only to see her go back. I put 67 stitches in one of thems mouth and drove her to the hospital for treatment, to watch her take his scumbag ass back two weeks later. So yes, sore point to me concerning abuse.

Laws are so fucked now, that in that situation, I go with my gut. And I was brought up old school, ya never hit a woman like that. And in general, someone is in distress, man OR woman, you MUST address the situation. Fuck apathy.

But thats just me.

Good blog, my friend. Kudo incoming.

Mar 31 @ 2:00PM  
An older man here just killed back in December in a Kroger parking lot (not far from me) while trying to apprehend a man and woman who stole her purse.

(I believe the suspects did get caught, eventually)


Mar 31 @ 2:22PM  
I play the good citizen role and have had 2 similar situations like that. It sucks being nice. Both time I ended up in jail.

Mar 31 @ 2:26PM  
Gotta remember to hit the phone booth and put on the purple mask first, Prophet...then vanish into the shadows afterwards.....

We gonna have to send you back to superhero school again?

Mar 31 @ 2:29PM  
it wuz bad just like u r

Mar 31 @ 2:33PM  
it wuz bad just like u r

Well thank you for your insight, and your opinion. I'm sure to give it much thought, but thats not what the blog is about. were you actually able to read it?

Mar 31 @ 2:45PM  
i can detect trolls n i see 1 in here she is queen of trolls

Mar 31 @ 3:34PM  
Here's a thought... had you sent me the questions you sent Sunny I would've told you that fake profile attacks (I call 'em false flag attacks) are something others suffer as well... I'm sending you an e-mail explaining with links where they originate...

So you can make an informed complaint to the powers that be!

Mar 31 @ 3:41PM  
Well, I was emailing sunny, because she is the one who emailed me. Had to been the one to email me, I would have had that conversation with you. But thank you, because as you can see from the comments here in this blog, its not getting any better.

Mar 31 @ 6:20PM  
from my blog:
in this sense of fairness, tranquility and safety I would ask that each and every member of this site, paying or free, please report all abuse! If someone threatens you or a friend of the abuse. Get a nasty email from someone you've never spoken to the abuse. If someone threatens you physically or sends death threats to you or your friends....REPORT THE ABUSE!!!!

If you are not sure of how to do this, there is a report abuse button on each profile, under each email you receive and there is also a spot in the forum threads for reporting abuse!

Just seems to fit here too!

Mar 31 @ 7:15PM  
had the same thing happen to me...the girl pulled a knife on me & took my money...evidently they were busted 1 month later going around doing that to get people to stop & robbed them...But i agree, if i ever saw that happen again I would stop & help. Kudo for you!!!

Mar 31 @ 7:17PM  
Thank you stormy, it seemed to have worked here too. husbandfucker is gone. Thats all I have been askin for is for people in this site to help out a little.


Mar 31 @ 10:34PM  
a kudo for your choice and for the others who choose to not just walk on by.

Mar 31 @ 11:02PM  

Apr 1 @ 1:30PM  
Good choice

You can't know that the woman would turn around and do this and as DarkDesire's pointed out, it's part of a vicous cycle called the Stolkhome Syndrome ( good for you DD )

If you always do "the right thing" then it will never come back to burn you in the ass..even if it takes time to do that

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