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The Miracle Spray & Making Biscuits......

posted 3/31/2008 1:27:54 AM |
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  buellriders69

THE MIRACLE SPRAY



Michael, who had problems with premature ejaculation, went to a sex shop for a remedy.

The clerk handed him a little yellow can and said, "This is Stay-Hard Spray; put on a little and you can go all night!"

Delighted, Michael took it home, stowed it on the cellar shelf and waited eagerly for bedtime, when he sprayed some on and went upstairs to his wife. However, it seemed to make him spend himself quicker than ever.

The next day he returned to the sex shop, slammed the can down on the counter, and snapped, "This stuff makes me worse than before!"

Upon reading the label, the clerk asked, "Did you hide this stuff on the cellar shelf?"

"Yeah, so?" said the disgruntled customer.

"You must have grabbed the wrong can. This is Easy-Off."




MAKING BISCUITS



A girl is about to tie the knot, and is watching her mother bake biscuits in the kitchen.

"Mom?" she asks. "How do you keep Dad so happy after all these years of marriage?"

The mother promptly throws a wad of biscuit dough on the floor, hikes up her dress, and squats down, picking the dough up with her snatch.

"Practice this and when you can do it, I'll guarantee that your man will be satisfied for the rest of his life," said her mother.

So the girl practiced and practiced until her wedding night.

While her anxious husband waited for her in the bed, she emerged wearing a sexy negligee, carrying a can of biscuit dough. She opened the can, threw the dough on the floor, lifted her negligee, and squatted over the dough, letting out a thunderous fart as she did so.

Her husband, startled, jumped from the bed and backed away.

"What's wrong, honey?" she asked.

He replied, "Shit woman!" as he stepped further away. "If that thing barks like that for a biscuit, I sure as hell don't want to throw any meat at it!"


(Sorry folks! This one is bad, but,it was so damn funny I had to add it too)

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Comments:

post a comment!

ThePurpleProphet

Mar 31 @ 1:33AM  
canufucme

Mar 31 @ 1:34AM  
The last one was great; finally a joke that has not been rehashed a hundred times here
NightOfOld

Mar 31 @ 2:18AM  

THank you. That was a good one.
canuhelpme258

Mar 31 @ 2:41AM  
That was funny!
Sunshine79

Mar 31 @ 9:21AM  
Holy shit......LMAO!!

But, women don't fart!!
max49

Mar 31 @ 9:53AM  
LMFAO... Kudo for you.

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The Miracle Spray & Making Biscuits......