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Another Oldie but goody!!!

posted 3/27/2008 11:17:43 AM |
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tagged: joke
  dragonsflame61

Cat Lover or Not, this is hysterical!


We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can
top this
one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how
legitimate my
excuse,
I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because
the
truth
was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had
sustained a
head injury,
and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I
reasoned, I
could
think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The
accident
occu! rred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a
cute
little kitty.
Initially, the new acquisition was no problem
.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard
my
wife,
Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

"Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower
pitter-patter
and steam. "Reset it yourself!"

"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me
in?"
There
was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second."


So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent
outraged
nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as
extremely
cowardly.

Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to
find
the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances.
No,
it
wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth.
It! was
our
new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied
hanging
between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me
as I
reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most
vulnerable,
she leapt at the toys! I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her
needle-like
claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily
movements,
blindly
rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten
hanging
from my
masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome.
Men, in
this
predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from
experience. I
was
fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and
forcefully
impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there
are
not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the
kitchen
floor butt naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that"
paramedics.
Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were
all
snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while
trying to

suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back
in to

the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me
about
my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk
about,
which it was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your
tongue?"
! If they only knew!

Why is it that only the women laugh at this?

Hope your week is better than his!!!!!!!!!!!

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Comments:

post a comment!

itsallforfun

Mar 27 @ 11:21AM  
blackskyline4

Mar 27 @ 11:35AM  
that is just wrong... a tragic event
buellriders69

Mar 27 @ 11:38AM  

That is absolutely priceless! Thanks fo the laugh.... And, hey, it isn't just the women who laugh, though, the men will cringe will laughing!
xquseme

Mar 27 @ 11:40AM  
I guess Kitty got declawed after that little event!!!!
jcarolina

Mar 27 @ 12:23PM  
I can't imagine why men wouldn't find that funny.

No cats for me.
max49

Mar 27 @ 12:26PM  
I feel his pain.
BKB1972

Mar 27 @ 1:27PM  
Why is it that only the women laugh at this?
...not at all. ....hell, I'd be one of the guys snorting Good very good!!
BlueEyes708

Mar 27 @ 2:52PM  


Since I've been a cat owner, and know the damage they can do. It was really hard not to laugh, in fact you had me in tears.

Sorry, couldn't help it.

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Another Oldie but goody!!!