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Software upgrade issues

posted 3/26/2008 2:26:34 PM |
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Software Upgrade Issues

A friend of mine sent me this letter that he recieved from Microsuck in regards to him upgrading his system....thought I'd share with you all here....

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

Troubled User.....



Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:..APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,

Tech Support

He then posted in a chat room for help and recieved the following advice.

I'm not sure about the Nag Nag 9.5 but purchasing the additional software recommended of Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 are highly recommended. And well worth the investment if you are trying to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 ... you might want to look at the Troubled User first, because maybe he's not using the program properly to begin with. :)~

And then he found the following suggestion

You could try installing Mistress 4.0...but I hear that's even worse than Secretary with a short skirt 3.0 when it comes to interfacing with wife 1.0.....

I think his next step with be to just buy a Mac and be done with comes already loaded with Hooters Girl 5.0 operating system.....

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

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Mar 26 @ 4:46PM  
Very clever...thanks for the giggles...

Mar 26 @ 7:00PM  
too funny

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Software upgrade issues