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Two new GPS products brought to you by The Purple Prophet Inc.

posted 3/25/2008 8:14:18 PM |
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Men gather around and feast your eyes on this. You all have heard of the Garmin GPS system well I have invented the Carmen. This product sits with you in your car while you drive. If you need directions simply activate Carmen by pinching her nipples. Once activated she will pull out a map from the glove compartment, open it to the desired page and trace the direction with her soft supple and well manicured fingers. Check this out. After she places the map in the map holder she follows the path of your car for you. With her free hand she can unzip you pants pull out your penis and either give you an amazing blow job or hand job if you prefer. Some models can even use their feet or breast. Isn't this simply amazing. The Carmen comes in all sorts of sizes and colors. If you get one today you will also get our version of the Tomtom for free. It's called Pompom. Yes, you guessed right, a cheerleader version of the Carmen. Two for the price of one. WOW! And guess what men...These babies run on protein. So if you are using your Carmen or Pompom properly they will never shut down.

Women don't fret, I have a version for you...It's the Carmine. This tall, dark and handsome will do everything the Carmen can do. Could you imagine actually getting to you destination without calling you dad or husband? While Carmine guides you in the right direction he can suck on your nipples and gently slide a vibrator into your vagina. In and out, in and out, and around and around. Since designing the Carmine to operate on protein didn't seem feasable I am currently working out a deal with Professor Borty so the Carmine can operate on edible panties. Don't worry women. I'll start you out with 3 free pair of edible panties. If I can work out this deal with Professor Borty by offering him proceeds from my sales then your edible panties will provided for the life of your Carmine for free. Women, a GPS that eats your edible panties off your body plays with your nipples, and gives you major tongue; how can you resist?

So what do say folks? You can have these wonderful GPS systems for a mere $449.00. So, first of all I'll take any questions and then Let the sales begin...

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post a comment!


Mar 25 @ 8:26PM  
Carmine!!! I love it! (I could have gone from rags to riches! Remember...Laverne and Shirley? I had such a crush on him! )

Mar 25 @ 8:38PM  

The carmine needs more work.He has to be able to pump gas, change tires and say "yes Dear"......

*runs like hell before the wimmen can assemble*

Mar 25 @ 8:43PM  
"The Big Ragoo" I always wondered why he didn't bang Shirley. Ya think the dancing had something to do with it?

Mar 25 @ 9:16PM  
Dark you forgot clean the windshield. Flame suit and helmet on!

Mar 25 @ 9:31PM  
Well before I go shelling out any cash I want to see the product trials. I mean what kind of return policy have you got? Oh and you know I'm a little bit concerned that you are in partnership with Professor Borty here.....cause well... you know... there was that lawsuit with the vibrating macho panties that shortcircuited and caused burns and scars and scorched pubic hair.

Got any references from consumer watchdog?

Mar 25 @ 9:39PM  
How about a 7 day free trial period where if you get lost or don't get off each time use it you can return it with no questions asked?

Mar 25 @ 9:59PM  
WOW! And guess what men...These babies run on protein. So if you are using your Carmen or Pompom properly they will never shut down.
...protein! ROFLMAO!!!

Mar 25 @ 10:02PM  
Don't worry folks ...the edible panties have no electicity lawyers and I will be having a Carmen orgy tonight...I'll publish the results later....

Mar 25 @ 10:06PM  
Borty, buddy, I knew we could work this out.

Mar 25 @ 11:09PM  

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Two new GPS products brought to you by The Purple Prophet Inc.