everyone has a different sense of right and wrong. everyone draws the line in a slightly different place.
I am be pretty open minded about things,, I don't consider all extramarital sex or premarital sex wrong. I don't have a problem accepting lesbians. gay guys. bisexuals transsexual and cross-dressers. Golden showers, pony play and bestiality are not my personal cup of kink but I can almost understand why those things have appeal.
Roleplay of all kinds are hot for me, including some of a controversial nature. The more props, costumes (not all sex requires 100% nudity) and realism, the bigger the thrill and the hotter the experience.
But I do have limits. things I consider wrong. Pedophiles. Non-consensual acts of any kind. Ridiculing anyone because of appearance. Cruelty and name-calling. I know a guy who had a woman walk out on him because she said his cock was too small. A very sexy guy but she caused him real emotional pain. PPL who know they have herpes or other STD's and don't tell potential partners.
I want this BLOG to be a healthy discussion of right and wrong. No flaming. No name calling. Just a place to share your views on right and wrong.
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Blogs by aftershox:
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| where do you draw the line? |
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Lisa46
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Mar 23 @ 2:31PM
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I agree with you shox! Belittling a person is horrible! Havin sex with someone when you have a STD is a no no  Yet we'll never know till its to late. And that is a shame people are so stupid and rude! 
leaves a greenie on my way back to chores great blog
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openmindedguy71
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Mar 23 @ 2:38PM
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I can be very accepting of many many things. The only things I can not accept are dishonesty and cheating. I believe in open honest communication between lovers.
Sex has to be consentual period.
I cant say I am into Sharing but If the right lady was in my life and she truly wanted to experience it I might consider it.
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gwenafar
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Mar 23 @ 2:44PM
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I agree....I am very tolerant of most things....but pedophiles..well, I won't say what I wish would happen to them  ..
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tassie1
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Mar 23 @ 2:49PM
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my kinda girl,knows what she wants and isn't afraid to tell ya.
excellent beliefs, my new found friend.   
*definately a kudo.
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SxzeNewMe
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Mar 23 @ 2:52PM
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well, I won't say what I wish would happen to them
Sad thing is, it may very well have...
That said, I see pedophilia as a sexual orientation - not a mental illness. Which, to me, means it cannot be "cured" and they will ALWAYS have to be regarded with care.
I draw the line at the invasion of someone else's space or rights - actions, however, are not "protected" under this belief. It's one thing to feel hate - it's another thing to act on it.
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CrazyCraveman
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Mar 23 @ 3:05PM
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I'm a pretty much live and let live kind of guy...
However, there are some things I simply don't like, care for, or agree with...and a few things...well, I'm not going to say what I'm thinking.
People that I've not time for, or that basically just piss me off...are...
Child molesters, rapists, zoophilia, (A separate term, bestiality, more common in mainstream usage and frequently but incorrectly seen as a synonym; often misspelled as "beastiality"), refers to human/animal sexual activity.) or any sort of cruelty to animals.
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TheAvenger
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Mar 23 @ 3:45PM
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I do think extramarital sex is wrong but I can see it happening before the ink is dry on the divorce papers, so to speak. I frankly don't see the point in being married if you're going to have sex outside the marriage. If I'm having "casual" sex with a man, even, I don't sleep around on him. I don't feel I need to. If he's not satisfying me, then I'll drop him and find someone who can.
Gays, lesbians..if they're truly gay and lesbian and are not just doing it for "shock value" or whatever...no problem. It's not something I can really relate to, being as I'm not gay, but I do believe it's not something that's a "choice," really, it's something in their genetic/psychological makeup that makes them attracted to the same sex. Might have to do with an imbalance of hormones or something, I would suspect.
Cross-dressing, it doesn't really "bother me," per se (though I find it kind of strange..and I wonder what's the motivation for wanting to do it? I mean, what makes a man (or woman) decide, rather than being comfortable in "men's" clothing, to dress in woman's clothing instead? Again, maybe imbalance of hormones? Maybe their genetic makeup is really that of a woman's but they're just in a man's body, yet they have the mind of a female. I don't know. Doesn't make them bad people though..I've had friends who were gay, lesbian and cross-dressers.
Bestiality, watersports, anything of a degrading nature or that involves cruelty to animals (having sex with animals is cruel) ..I find absolutely disgusting and I personally can't see any appeal to it. I have to wonder about the mindset of anyone who would actually enjoy being urinated or defecated on. I mean seriously.
Role play, fantasies..truly do not see the point in it..I love sex so much just for its own sake that I don't need anything else to embellish it. I truly don't. Maybe that's partly because I haven't ever been with any one man long enough for the sex to get old and need embellishment. LOL
Bondage and stuff...nahhh...I mean playful spanking ..sure. But not much beyond that..like being tied up and stuff..Oh hell no. And clothespins or masks or suffocation etc., again, I don't get what's thrilling about it. Degradation and pain (whether inflicting it or receiving it) is just unfathomable to me.
Group sex, threesomes, etc., whatever floats your boat, but, to me, one of the major things about having sex with a man that excites me is that it is something just the two of us are sharing with each other. I just don't use people to get me off. To me, the emotional intimacy is a huge part of the sexual experience (and by saying that I'm not suggesting even remotely being in love with the person, necessarily) ...just being close to them. I can't see being able to bond intimately like that with anyone during the course of a cluster fuck.
Of course anything to do with children goes without saying ...an absolute don't even go there thing.
****
Interesting comment about pedophilia being a sexual orientation...haven't really considered it but I always thought it was a male/female thing and not really a child/adult thing...but I suppose it could be..I mean, in a deviant, sick mind, that is; I certainly don't think pedophilia is a "normal" orientation by any means.
But a mentally ill person doesn't see it as wrong, anyway, so that's what drives them to do it. I'd say it was more a mental illness in a sociopathic category, and sociopaths are very hard to "cure" as well, because they have no moral conscience and cannot or will not refuse to see what they're doing is wrong.
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aftershox
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Mar 23 @ 3:57PM
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Thanks everyone for your comments so far.
Suffocation or breath control is another one on my personal never-try and too-dangerous even among consenting adults list. Good point Avenger.
Bestiality vs Zoophilia. There is a difference? I am not sure I care enough t know the difference. I have watched some campy chicken fucking, horse fucking and dog fucking porn out of curiosity. Not because I find it erotic, I happen to like weird things and that sort of thing is so weird.. well.. I just enjoy the weirdness. If anyone wants to educate me/us on the difference I would welcome it. Otherwise I will google/consult wiki when I am bored and have free time.
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TheAvenger
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Mar 23 @ 4:02PM
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from what i can gather, bestiality is just sex...zoophilia is romantic love.
So with bestiality you can just fuck your dog
zoophilia, you have to take her out to dinner, I guess, and buy her flowers.
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TheAvenger
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Mar 23 @ 4:11PM
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Hmm..says I don't have any kudos left...well, I must not have had any to begin with because I haven't used any..but that's okay..I just happen to have some of my own..
Five kudos for launching this very controversial topic in such a way that welcomes ALL opinions and points of view, without fear of retribution...(so far, anyway...shhh  )  
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sundance64
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Mar 23 @ 4:30PM
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Golden showers, pony play and bestiality
ewwww....that's gross! 
It's no secret that I'm into 'rough-play'...have gone as far as light bondage and what not...it's fun and in no way demeaning to me. A little pain adds excitement for me...as does feeling not completely in control.
I've seen different types of bondage, some very extreme IMO (full vinyl suits with straws to breathe thru???) but who am I to judge.
I first heard about pedophilia being defined as an orientation rather than a mental illness a few years ago. It makes sense to me...however, when one thinks in terms of sexual orientation one usually thinks of gays or lesbians...or heterosexuals. So...when one defines a pedophile as a sexual orientation it almost makes it seem on the same level as being homosexual...which it isn't.
Name calling...some consider it pillow talk in certain contexts...but not in public and not to deliberately humiliate another person.
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CrazyCraveman
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Mar 23 @ 4:31PM
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Bestiality vs Zoophilia. There is a difference?
OK, being you really don't want to know. I won't get into explaining it all...so I'll just say this...
Bestiality is when you simply have sex with your horse...
And...
Zoophilia is when you bring your horse flowers, and a box of chocolates. And you take your horse out for dinner, drinks, and dancing...then you take your horse home to have sex with him... 
If you really want to know more...Wikipedia...will be able to explain it a little better than I can, or even care to... 
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TheAvenger
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Mar 23 @ 4:39PM
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You know, the only problem I have with calling pedophilia an orientation is that at some point in time people might accept it as being "normal" in society. Already there are associations such as --what's it called? NAMBLA or something, I think--that state that man/boy or woman/girl, adult/child "love" is "normal" and are trying to push forward that line of thinking...
I mean, at one time being gay was not considered mainstream and now it's much more accepted as such (not quite, but a hell of a lot closer than it used to be) -- and whether it is or it isn't is a subject for a whole 'nother debate -- but with pedophilia the argument that NORMAL people would have is the fact that they're children and not adults. But then at some point in time, sickos who promote it will start saying that 16 is old enough to decide, then 14, then 12, ...etc., saying that a child has a right to make up their own minds and all that sort of thing...
Hell, already the age of consent is below 18 in some states, isn't it?
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SxzeNewMe
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Mar 23 @ 5:05PM
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"Sexual orientation" actually has nothing to do with "normal" or "abnormal"...it has to do with "natural selection", so to speak. It is what one IS, which means it's not something that is likely to change, or is easy to change if that is the goal.
There was a time when homosexuality was considered a mental illness: a defect of the mind and its functioning. Over time, it has become to be accepted as an orientation. Why, because those who are pretty much have always known that's what they are - and they are unable to change it (which is not to be misconstrued as being a conscious lifestyle choice). Or so, that is my understanding of the reason for that change in perceptions.
When it comes to pedophiles, treatment has - by and large - been unsuccessful. Even chemical castration doesn't change the thoughts and desires. THIS is what scares me. THIS is why I feel stronger laws need to be put into place. Pedophiles absolutely know that they are doing is wrong when they choose to act on their impulses; to give them room to say "I didn't know right from wrong because I'm mentally ill" is a travesty. Or so, that's my opinion.
But a mentally ill person doesn't see it as wrong, anyway, so that's what drives them to do it This isn't an accurate statement. SOME people with mental illness don't know what they do is wrong...but that's not what drives them to do (or not) do something.
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sundance64
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Mar 23 @ 5:11PM
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That's pretty much what I said...about pedophilia being an orientation. I had a discussion with someone who referred to pedophiles as being 'gay'...I told him that most pedophiles were not 'gay' and homosexuals did not have sex with children. There's a difference. I can only hope that as a society we don't wander down the path of acceptance in regards to pedophiles.
In most states...the age of consent is under 18...but the age of prosecution is 18 and precludes the age of consent. That means if a 20 year old has sex with a 15 year old...the adult can be convicted of statutory rape regardless of whether or not it was consensual.
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sundance64
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Mar 23 @ 5:15PM
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This isn't an accurate statement. SOME people with mental illness don't know what they do is wrong...but that's not what drives them to do (or not) do something.
I'm guessing what you mean is that what does drive them is not the fact that they don't know what they're doing is wrong...but they have a compulsion to act out? And because it's a compulsion...they see it as something they have to do?
Correct me if I'm wrong...
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SxzeNewMe
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Mar 23 @ 5:19PM
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what does drive them is not the fact that they don't know what they're doing is wrong...but they have a compulsion to act out?
I'll stop that at "compulsion" - not sure about the "acting out" part. At least, when talking about mental illness as a whole, but yes, this is pretty much what I meant!
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sundance64
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Mar 23 @ 5:37PM
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That's what I thought!
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j3411
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Mar 23 @ 5:58PM
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I pretty much believe that what two consenting adults decide to do with themselves is their business. Using props or toys or other things to help achieve their goals are fine.
We all have our limits ,and we all have our little "kinks". Anything that is truly dangerous is out of bounds to me.
I'll leave all the animals out of the mix. I don't really need anyone but my lover, one on one.
Forcefully violating anyone is out !
Pedophiles should be locked away. There is no treatment. If they serve a sentence and are returned to society, we need to find a way to monitor them 24/7.
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Sunshinegal35
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Mar 23 @ 6:02PM
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If I'm not "into" something, I don't participate. If someone else happens to be into that, I don't mind. I really can't judge another person for his/her sexual likes/dislikes. Just like I don't want to be judged for my sexual likes/ dislikes. Or be judged for any reason for that matter....
Each person draws the line where it's comfortable for themselves. We all draw the line at something. It's just different somethings.
I think of myself as a tolerant person. Although I draw the line at Pedophelia- whether it's a sexual orientation or mental illness- no child should ever be forced to have sex with someone. If someone hurt my son in that way, I'd have to kill them. Hands down.
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SxzeNewMe
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Mar 23 @ 6:11PM
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If someone hurt my son in that way, I'd have to kill them. Hands down.
Day-um!!! But I totally agree! (And I am SO glad to see this woman back in action!!!)
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canuhelpme258
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Mar 23 @ 6:56PM
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Wait a damn minute damn it!
You forgot an important thing!
THE most important sexual fetish! 
The ONLY one that counts in my world!
A whole blog on this subject and you never mentioned...
MIDGETS!!!!!!!!! 
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TheAvenger
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Mar 23 @ 7:01PM
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"Sexual orientation" actually has nothing to do with "normal" or "abnormal"...it has to do with "natural selection", so to speak. It is what one IS, which means it's not something that is likely to change, or is easy to change if that is the goal.
I mean "normal" and "abnormal" in the sense of what society considers the "norm" is thereby "normal," and what isn't the norm is "ABnormal."
Pedophilia is certainly not the norm and therefore is not normal. Same with homosexuality..it still isn't mainstream and, in that regard isn't the "norm" so therefore is also ABnormal, atypical, etc.
But there are lots of things that are "ABnormal" that aren't necessarily "bad." I couldn't ever "blame" someone for being homosexual anymore than I could blame them for being born with any other genetic abnormality. And I don't want to open a can of worms with that, but I do believe there is something "different" about homosexuals that make them homosexual...not "bad," just "different" and being hetereosexual is, was and will always be the "norm." (Meaning that's what "most" people are). I am all for acceptance of anyone, regardless of sexual orientation, just because they are human beings (so long as they don't harm people, like children).
But homosexuals would be considered a minority just like any other minority group (minority because there are fewer of them) but, even so, are still no less deserving of fair and equal treatment than anyone else is.
But at least homosexuals do not go after children. That's why I really hesitate to put the "orientation" label on pedophiles, for reasons I stated in my previous post.
When it comes to pedophiles, treatment has - by and large - been unsuccessful. Even chemical castration doesn't change the thoughts and desires. THIS is what scares me. THIS is why I feel stronger laws need to be put into place. Pedophiles absolutely know that they are doing is wrong when they choose to act on their impulses; to give them room to say "I didn't know right from wrong because I'm mentally ill" is a travesty. Or so, that's my opinion.
Hell, I think someone who robs a convenience store (or whatever) at gunpoint and so much as threatens the life of the clerk(s) and in the process terrorizes them should get the death penalty, so you'd better believe I'm all for it for pedophiles!
I had read that treatment has by and large been unsuccessful, too, except that in some cases chemical castration does, because it lowers the testosterone levels, lessens the desire. Still, having the desire for sex, even an off-the-charts desire for it, doesn't explain the desire for sex with children. That is a sickness to be sure.
Having said that, I absolutely do NOT believe in using mental illness (in this sense) as a legal defense whatsoever. Hell, one prime example that most everyone would agree as being about as "mentally ill" as one can get would be Jeffrey Dahmer. I mean, you can't get much "sicker" than that. Right?
Even he admitted he KNEW what he was doing was wrong, but that he couldn't help himself and his compulsion to kill. Still, does not fit the legal insanity plea, which is used to "exonerate" a criminal because he "didn't know what he was doing."
That might fall more under the lines of what a schizophrenic might do during a schizophrenic episode because they might be having weird thoughts, or visual or auditory hallucinations at the time he/she committed the crime.
But the legal definition of insanity goes beyond what we would consider "sick." One can be mentally completely fucked up in the head (sociopaths are a perfect example of this). They do not have a conscience as far as any concern for their victims, but they sure as hell know what they're doing is wrong and that the consequences for them is bad, which is why they take precautions to not get caught.
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trcaccount
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Mar 23 @ 7:08PM
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For me it's a matter of what I consider sexual play vs. violence or abuse.
Anything involvng children is violence. Anything coersive or taking advantage of someone is violent and/or abusive.
I've never been one for pain, or S&M. I also don't like the whole bodily function thing either, (piss and scat). This is not to say that i judge anyone who participates in these activities, it's just not my cup-o-tea.
The part of our brain that is connected with sexual arousal is a very old part, this part s operated by instict. It's far older then the front part of the brain that operates awareness and consiousness. 
Therefore, drawing the line for me is a conscious decision that must be made when I'm not in the heat of the moment. Thus getting to know one another, knowing one's likes and dislikes ahead of time always allows for a more pleasurable experience.
I do like a little bondage and discipline though  ...as long as I know daddy is getting some in the end! 
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aftershox
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Mar 23 @ 7:49PM
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just follow the yellow brick road, Canu, and take your fantasy outta Kansas!
Oops,,, I forgot ,, we aren't in Kansas anymore, are we?
Didn't the hotels have alot of trouble with the munchkin actors during the filming of the original Wizard of Oz. Parties, sex, orgies and the like?
Chattanooga might be a bit of a drive... but there might be some action there for you.
http://www.lpaonline.org/mc/community/eventdetails.do?eventId=136467&orgId=lpa
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southerngent64
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Jul 12 @ 8:01AM
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Aftershox, I personally agree with the lines you've drawn. Since there's a wide spectrum for sexuality, "The Line" is generally drawn, tacitly or not, between the parties involved.
Personally, I don't consider playing with a married woman to be wrong if her hubby knows about it or is there taking pics! (G)
Sexual norms vary by geography, too. When I first moved to WV a few years ago, I met a social worker who made house calls in BFE nowhere, frequently in hollers. This story grossed me out, but since she was there first hand, it grossed her out even more!
Anyway, she had one client, a woman in her 40s, who lived in a remote area. The topic of their sons came up. My friend mentioned her 5 yo son. She nearly passed out from shock when the client asked her if she was going to teach her son about sex when he turned 18. Apparently, the client had already "trained" two sons and the third son was due to have his turn with Mom soon. My friend wanted to run out of there, but maintained her professionalism.
In talking with others, I've learned that incest occurs more frequently than the norm in the rural, secluded areas of WV. I'm curious if, and how badly, it messes up the kids. In this particular case, I’m going to guess that my friend will have her client’s sons added to her case load, too.
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Detach
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Jul 12 @ 12:51PM
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I don't get what is so appealing about pedophelia either. 
I draw the line at whatever the law has told us is illegal, with the exception of public nudity of course
To this day, the craziest thing I've seen was on the show "Cheaters" where a topless woman was tied to a bed with construction cones around the bed. She had two partners with KISS style makeup on and construction vests and not much else on. Candles were lit, rock 'n' roll music blaring, and a bunch of rubber sex toys were tied to string and dangling from the ceiling. Kinky as that was, I fail to see why that would be illegal other than the fact that neigher of the construction partners were her husband (who was pretty freaked out when he brought the "Cheaters" camera crew and walked in on that).
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