Ouch, my eye!
I found this in my journal from Iraq and I thought it was worth a chuckle.
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I had the weirdest conversation last night. Like most times, I was sitting in the smoking area, enjoying the stars. When a buddy of mine came out to talk to me about a medical problem.
"Hey Doc, how bad is it for your eye if you get semen in it?"
I looked at him for a few moments. I really didn't know what to say to that. This really is the only job outside of the porno industry where you'll get a question like that. We never covered that in medic school.
"Um... why exactly do you want to know?"
"Because I got some nut in my fucking eye a little while ago."
At this point, I am frightened. Never mind that we're in Iraq and not even supposed to be fucking women. I'm frightened by the fact that my buddy, who I go into combat with, just had semen in his eye.
"Back up, how exactly did this happen?"
"I was whacking it in the shitter and it shot up at just the right angle to land in my right eye."
"What did you do?"
"I washed it out in the sink."
At this point I just wanted to know which sink he used. I'm never going to brush my teeth in that sink again.
"What should I do, Doc?"
"Go to bed and never tell anyone about this, ever."
This really could only happen to me. I doubt some doctor at a nice private practice ever gets calls about splooge in the eye. Fuck flashbacks to combat. I'm going to have flashbacks about people getting semen in the face. I'll never be able to enjoy a porno again without thinking of that. Of course, this could be some sort of cosmic justice for all the women who've gone down on him. Rock on.
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read more blogs!
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hopon
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Mar 22 @ 9:32PM
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spooge directly in the eye fucking hurts!!! I thought that I was going blind for about three weeks after it happened to me!!! Seriously though... my eye was all blurry.....
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hopon
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Mar 22 @ 9:33PM
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and oh yeah.... that is why from that point forward, my motto is swallow it down the throat!! 
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sundance64
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Mar 22 @ 9:33PM
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OMG...that was funny! Only in the military...
You should get him a t shirt from tshirt hell that says "Swallow or its goin' in your eye!" At least he could say he knows how it feels! 
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DarkKnightWalking
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Mar 22 @ 9:39PM
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Bein Miltary myself, I dont think I coulda kept from bein a smartass and askin...
"Did ya yell INCOMING!!! First?"
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StraddleMyNose
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Mar 22 @ 9:43PM
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Oh man, I know it stings, I shot my ownself in the eye while jacking off while on my back. 
I got Kim a number of times. 
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whisperingcomet
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Mar 22 @ 9:52PM
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Yes, I have had that shit get in my eye before...it stings!
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BlueEyes708
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Mar 22 @ 10:09PM
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Bein Miltary myself, I dont think I coulda kept from bein a smartass and askin...
"Did ya yell INCOMING!!! First?
Only you would. D.K. Keep it out of my face. In my mouth, OK, but otherwise out of my face.
Thanks for the laugh. Just think of the PTSD you can tell the VA about. They'll never believe it.
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canuhelpme258
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Mar 22 @ 11:18PM
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Remember the line in"A Christmas Story"
You'll shot your eye out kid?
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TheAvenger
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Mar 23 @ 1:06AM
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"What did you do?"
"I washed it out in the sink."
At this point I just wanted to know which sink he used.
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TheAvenger
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Mar 23 @ 1:08AM
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[QUOTE]"What did you do?"
"I washed it out in the sink."
It's a wonder it didn't go down the drain. Eyes can be slippery little suckers.
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beefygoblin
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Mar 23 @ 1:45AM
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This happened to me tonight. I was jacking off on my bed and splashed my face... it realy burns on the contact lens. It just won't wash off.
I'm not joking either.
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Ewe_Wish
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Mar 23 @ 1:55AM
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It's always funny until someone loses an eye............... 
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beefygoblin
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Mar 23 @ 6:26AM
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It's always funny until someone loses an eye............... .
Then its fucking hilarious.
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Sunshinegal35
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Mar 23 @ 8:02AM
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I've had it happen to me, too! Landed in the ER because of it. Imagine the look on THAT doc's face....
"Um, miss, exactly what seems to be the problem?"
"Uh, I got splooge in my eye!"
"WTF?????"
LMAO
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Souluv
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Mar 23 @ 8:50AM
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That is so funny , you should make a joke about it... 
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ladybootscooter
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Mar 23 @ 8:55AM
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Burns like hell in the eyes and much much worse if ya got contacts in!!!
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