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The Battered 'Community'

posted 3/22/2008 12:50:03 PM |
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  surfin4fun

I wanted to share my own personal observations, with who ever happens to read this, of an insight I gained during the last weeks here at AMD. I learned that AMD is a real community, of real people. I do make note of the exceptions; the fake and scammer profiles. However, in general, and certainly of the folks that participate and contribute to the blogs, they have proven themselves to be caring, thoughtful and intelligent participants of what I call the 'Blog Wars of 2008'. During this time, many expressed and defended their views and concerns, as well as their friends, under what I considered to be unprofessional, unwarranted and personally disrespectful treatment and malice. As we all know, the malice was seemingly directed from one source. whose sole purpose was anything but intellectual discussion, and whose unfortunate effect was to cause senseless turmoil.

As some of you have indicated, it seems the smoke has cleared, and the turmoil ended because of positive action taken by some of our members and AMD. The prospect that it's over is good news for me. The past events, did however allow me to see the 'goodness' in the AMD community ( I know you guys may not be comfortable being tagged 'good' but come on, fess up, you have your moments), the bonds that have been forged here as friends, and that you can rise to the occasion as a community when one or all need help and support.

All kink aside, the AMD community ROCKS in my book.

Please Note: I want to correct and clarify my statement "As we all know, the malice was seemingly directed from one source." It has been pointed out that it wasn't a single source, and I agree. I used the word 'seemingly' to make that doubtful but it truely wasn't strong enough to convey, that there was more than one source. Thanks to those of you who pointed this out to me.

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Comments:

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gwenafar

Mar 22 @ 12:57PM  
You are 99.99% correct in my book
soft_touch938

Mar 22 @ 12:58PM  
I agree...I've met some awesome people here and many are friends of my heart. Yes, very good people.

Your blog was excellent...well expressed and you are very observant. I skip back out leaving one of those green thingy's behind.
lemondrop

Mar 22 @ 1:00PM  
Me too surfing.
Although I did not agree with the back and forth blogging wars I did agree with following the rules. Ignoring the perpetrator and reporting abuse seemed to work.
We can't boot someone for not following the rules and break them ourselves.
We are adults and should behave in a mature manner and rise above such trouble makers.
Good clean blog surfin. Kudos for u!
itsallforfun

Mar 22 @ 1:04PM  
Yes this family rocks and glad to be a part of it...throwing a kudo on my way out!
sundance64

Mar 22 @ 1:09PM  
Hopefully we can put whats past behind us...and make a fresh start without letting the things we can't change jade our perceptions too much.

I might also add that there wasn't only 'one' person involved in 'stirring shit up'.

I admit I left comments here and there with the express intent of instigating and baiting...not to mention jumping into said battle with both feet.

For that, I apologize both to the individual and to the community in general.

surfin4fun

Mar 22 @ 1:13PM  
Thank you Sundance, I didn't say we were perfect, just a good community who can rise to the occasion, as you had and have now.
Ewe_Wish

Mar 22 @ 1:24PM  
Good Blog........Kudos to you.
canuhelpme258

Mar 22 @ 1:39PM  
I see why Sunny told me to read this one lol...

It is not about everyone being best friends... not about each of us becoming homogeneous.

People disagree, they even get terse in responding to snippy comments. There does come a point however when a difference of opinion, is not worth pursuing in order to preserve the greater good of the site. The greater good being of course member retention and growth.

I have more blood on my own hands then I care to recount here; I've even drawn first at times. It is not about what has happened in the past any longer, it is about moving forward and turning the fun knob back up to ten.

I'm not going to get on a sop box about individual responsibility on you page... I'm just dropping a kudo on my way to see if Sunny posted anything else about "Da Bad Place" that might pique my interest.
tassie1

Mar 22 @ 1:50PM  
battered community ?

did you know statistic's show there are approx 50 000 battered women out there?
and I'm still eatin mine plain...
Scottishtease

Mar 22 @ 2:11PM  
Completely agree. It has been much nicer in here lately.
surfin4fun

Mar 22 @ 2:40PM  
I'm sure there are as many views as to what AMD is about, as there are members to voice them. Everyone has their own personal take, everyone being an individual. Transcending those individual views, I believe, that some or many may have a sense of belonging to an online 'community'. That is where I believe the homogeneity starts and ends.
themama

Mar 22 @ 2:50PM  
Kudos for you..
DarkDesires99

Mar 22 @ 3:29PM  
Enjoy this time right now!
I like fun over conflict and now I can return to the blogs and enjoy them again.

Wordsofwit

Mar 22 @ 3:57PM  
Kudo...nothing further need be said.
BlueEyes708

Mar 22 @ 4:09PM  
I think your put that most Eloquently. Let's just all move forward, If we disagree, do it with complete tact. (not my fathers version) or don't comment at all. I can find an argument anytime I want, all I have to do is call my ex or my sister. Here I want to have some fun, and maybe a discussion or two.

and this and a kudo, if I have one to give

NachoBaby

Mar 22 @ 4:33PM  
Sometimes you have to do a seemingly bad thing, in order to make a positive change. Sometimes it doesn't work. Luckily, this time it did. Hopefully we can learn to coexist in some semblance of peace.

asnet

Mar 22 @ 4:41PM  
[B]
I learned that AMD is a real community, of real people .....
the malice was seemingly directed from one source....


Whether it's one source or a few, no "real" community
can be disrupted so thoroughly by one or a few people.
Look to yourselves, AMDers.
Ask yourselves why you respond the way you do
to create, and recreate and recreate and recreate
the same old explosions, over and over and over again.
The characters change, but the play is always the same.
That's one reason I am skeptical about the Rule of Canu.
The fault lies not in our scapegoats that can be deleted or banned,
but in ourselves,
in the seemingly universal subconscious need for operatic melodrama.[/B]
surfin4fun

Mar 22 @ 5:00PM  
I'd like to thank everyone for their comments.

Asnet, I appreciate your comment as well, and fair enough, it is food for more thought on this. As I've shared with some of you, I certainly don't have the historical overview that the long standing members of AMD have on this particular discussion.

As we move forward, I'm going to be personally mindful of your point and try to gauge this myself. Thanks

At the end of it all, I just want to have some fun !!!
canuhelpme258

Mar 22 @ 5:09PM  
Okay, Asnet...

I keep saying to let go of the past... I'm not harping about past wrongs real or imagined or using them as an excuse to use this position to settle old scores...

We all need to learn to stpe past people who we already know we do not like.. and conduct ourselves like adults.

Yes it has been pointed out I have not always done so..
Why I said "we"

So the bulletins flying and tempers flaring are okay with me... eventually people will learn to get along or ignore each other.
goldeneagle

Mar 22 @ 5:23PM  
asnet

Mar 22 @ 5:53PM  
Canu, it's nice to talk about
"letting go of the past,"
but I side with Freud on this.
Much as we say we can let go of it,
it doesn't always let go of us.

Question you can think about and answer when you have an answer:
A starts a blog and says something B thinks is horrible.
B says so.
A bulletins C,D,E, F, G, H, I etc.
And they all jump on B,
yelling GTF out of here if you don't like it here.
B asks Canu to intervene.
What do you do?
If you do nothing, the core group tries to recruit more people
around the idea of evicting B.
It turns into a rorping, yelling, boiling ball of hate and pus.
What do you do?


But that's more than enough for now.
This can be a very interesting experiment.
Zaftik

Mar 22 @ 6:09PM  
Alright Y'all!!! Surfin' wrote a great blog let's not go there
At least not on his blog As I tell the kids "If ya can't say anything nice, shut up!!"


Great Blog, Surfin'!!!! Tossin' a greenie your way
surfin4fun

Mar 22 @ 6:12PM  
I'm not going to attempt to respond for Canu, he's capable of doing that for himself.
My response to your question, and I know you know this, is that it 'all depends' on the situation at the time of the occurrence. Hypothetical stuff, out of context, is hard to guess at, because all you can do is guess. My sense is, that it depends how B goes about telling A that he or she disagrees. Once that is evaluated, then one can proceed with a follow-on action, if warranted.
whisperingcomet

Mar 22 @ 6:17PM  
Yawn....who didnt predict this????
whisperingcomet

Mar 22 @ 6:32PM  
what tassie said....
StraddleMyNose

online now!
Mar 22 @ 7:31PM  
asnet

Mar 22 @ 7:32PM  
S4fun:
Good thought but I disagree with your last comment.
We've been thru this a thousand times,
and no, it is not new every time.
It's the same old shit, over and over.

Zaftik just proved my point:
she treats adults like children ...
be nice or shut up.
She doesn't get it.
Case closed.
Thanks surf.
Your baby Canu.

canuhelpme258

Mar 22 @ 10:21PM  
Asnet... every little fucking slight like Zat's needs to be addressed? C'mon then I would be treating you all like children wouldn't I? Do you guys want a baby sitter? Does every little half way out of the way remark really need to be removed to... are we that god damned sensitive?

This is Surf's blog, while I could remove the comments, the blog its self, and be a prick, I can't see anything a rational adult can't overlook.... as for the alphabet soup scenario? I can't answer without facts in evidence. Everything is case by case... I mean if A writes a racist blog about white power, he is at fault, as am I if I let it linger long enough that b, d, e, and z think the need vigilante justice.

If it's about what month to plant daises I'll just delete the silly mess, after I figure out who is at fault and deal with where fault lies..

Its case by case and we could sit here and hash out twenty thousand scenarios but these people will find that one we hadn't.

I'm not an idiot, I know there are dozens just waiting to see what happens when "this" or "that" or some other thing happens to test my "fairness" ... I also know who is sitting around furious over this turn of events, and who is happy....

I got the post because I understand these things... just like I understand you are the way you are...

Just relax, I'm not a Nazi.

Case in point I deleted and edited my own comment.. ask surf he got two notices lol....
Iaim2pleez

Mar 23 @ 6:22PM  
Good Blog and a kudo for writing it.....There are as many opinions as there are people. My own experience here is that most are into the fun little flirt crap, the women, no matter how light the comment draw the guys, the guys struggle with blogs because they are not women, and most here are awesome people. Some are not so awesome. Everyone has their own evil person identified and sometimes they blow up as we watch from the sidelines. But you are right....most here are not snippy, not ego whores and just want fun and treat people fairly and with dignity.

That being said, it is fun to try to figure out what identity the main evil one is today....I was talking to her this morning without a clue. Who can keep up with this junk half the time...kudo...
aftershox

Mar 23 @ 7:35PM  
I have been chuckling about Tassie's comment all day.

I have this visual of everyone in AMD naked and covered in pancake batter (maybe cookie batter?) slippin' and slidin' and wrestlin' and catfightin' and throw in a little crisco here and there for some fuckin and..

If ya can't stand the heat .. stay outta the kitchen!

And put some corn batter on that hot dog someone slung down the hallway earlier today, will ya!
canuhelpme258

Mar 23 @ 7:56PM  
Is the batter original recipe or extra tasty crispy?
aftershox

Mar 23 @ 8:23PM  
s the batter original recipe or extra tasty crispy?

Gotta allow for the diversity here. A bowl of original recipe here, some beer batter there, corn bread, milk and bread crumbs

Dip your own,, what ever your pleasure.
sundance64

Mar 23 @ 8:31PM  
I have this visual of everyone in AMD naked and covered in pancake batter (maybe cookie batter?) slippin' and slidin' and wrestlin' and catfightin' and throw in a little crisco here and there for some fuckin and..

That's funny... I will always have a picture of everyone from a year or so ago...playing naked Twister while covered in Baby Oil!!

**Left foot...Blue! No...Blue, not Boob!**
surfin4fun

Mar 23 @ 9:29PM  
I'd like to thank everyone again for their participation ... towards the end there folks, it was starting to sound like the Food Network gone kink!

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