AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

Never take a man shopping

posted 3/22/2008 11:33:05 AM |
3 kudosgive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
tagged: humor, jokes
  BlueEyes708

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After Mr. and Mrs. Moloney retired to Naples FL, Mrs. Moloney insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Moloney was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Moloney was like most women, she loved to browse.
One day Mrs. Moloney received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart in Naples, FL.
Dear Mrs. Moloney,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may have to ban you from the store.
Our complaints against Mr. Moloney are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2, July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minuteintervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an Official voice, Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least....

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here'.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by BlueEyes708:
Diary Day 1
50 Isn't Everything
Games Part 4 - My Turn at ScottishTease's Blog
The Wedding Annivsary
The Law of the Garbage Truck
THE OFFICE CONTEST TO BEAT ALL OFFICE CONTESTS
My Next Live
The Aisle Seat
Daddy's car in the woods?
The Crush
Another Saturday Morning
Monday Morning Laugh
Never take a man shopping
The Haircut
OK, More CAT funnies
Disney Housewives
WOMEN'S REVENGE
Eye Witness
486-5731
This is for CanU
Sentence Structure
how to use the rebate
True or not, It's still funny.
Motorcycle Awareness Month
Weather Warning (Especially in Ohio)


Comments:

post a comment!

surfin4fun

Mar 22 @ 11:36AM  
I copied the list... taking it with me ...
j3411

Mar 22 @ 11:42AM  
Hey ain't it our job to make the whole shopping experience more fun? Ya know , right before we get to the register to pay.
gwenafar

Mar 22 @ 11:42AM  
good one
parageneric

Mar 22 @ 11:47AM  
NOW THATS having Fun !!!
zena343

Mar 22 @ 11:48AM  
Although I am just the opposite....I hate shopping at the best of times!! They are cute BlueEyes, thanks!!
itsallforfun

Mar 22 @ 11:58AM  
That was hiliarious
jcarolina

Mar 22 @ 12:24PM  
I applaud Mr. Moloney with the greatest enthusiasm.

That was great stuff!
canuhelpme258

Mar 22 @ 1:44PM  
They really do film me in Wal-Mart huh?
fantasyfactory

Mar 22 @ 2:31PM  
Suggestion::: Give us something else to do....What's wrong with putting a big screen TV and a pit group in the womens clothing and shoe department? Then it wouldnt be so painful to say "Yes dear, that looks fine" and go back to watching something we are interested in....Just a thought.
BKB1972

Mar 22 @ 2:33PM  
Gotta' go to Wal-Mart now ....I HAVE to try this! See y'all


Anyone I can call for bail
coachwaugh69

Mar 22 @ 2:53PM  
ahhh i love it!
Iaim2pleez

Mar 22 @ 3:41PM  
Get in and get out my motto...well with shopping...not more important events....
DarkDesires99

Mar 22 @ 4:36PM  

Darts in suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme and drops a kudo.
ajay_t43

Mar 22 @ 6:00PM  
lol this was posted before :P.
beefygoblin

Mar 22 @ 6:52PM  
You forgot about holding a sodium party in the gardining section (those miniture water falls... if it was a mall I'd say the wishing well).

blackskyline4

Mar 22 @ 7:50PM  
if thats all it took to no longer have to go shopping i would have done that a long time ago... i hate going to wall mart with females... they have to walk down EVERY isle... it doesn't matter...

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB02
Never take a man shopping