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The 700 mile Rabbit Hole...

posted 3/16/2008 10:50:29 AM |
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  sundance64

There have been a couple of blogs in the last few days about meeting someone, making changes...and the fear and doubt that can ensue...especially when it comes to a long distance relationship.

Most of the folks here know my story...some have asked recently how it all came about...so I decided to put it up here and hopefully it will help others.

I joined this site back in the fall of '06...with no expectations other than maybe making some friends. I found the forums...jumped in and started having fun, both with the serious discussions and the playful flirting. I made alot of good friends right away...and was almost immediately dubbed "SunnyD" (it was easier to type apparently...)

Like alot of women...I read Canu's blogs with interest. His stories, satire and rants grabbed my attention...but one in particular caught my eye and warranted a private response...the one where he talked about fighting his alcoholic demons. I could relate to that...and told him.

This started emails back and forth...we talked about ourselves, our kids and our individual histories. Eventually we exchanged phone numbers, but for a long time didn't talk on the phone...just texted back and forth. When we finally did talk...it was for about 3 hours. After that we talked every night...sent texts back and forth during the day and emailed throughout the day.
We both realized we were in a predicament...one we weren't sure of how to handle. First...the distance. 700 miles is a long way to carry on any type of relationship that has obviously become more than 'friends'. Second...he was still married at the time, with two kids to support. I won't go into the details of his home life...except to say that neither were happy or even content.
We both eventually admitted that we didn't want to be apart...and started making plans to be together. At this point, we hadn't met face to face...but for whatever reason that didn't matter. We both knew this was meant to be...and it would be one way or another.
Was it easy? Well...yes and no. In some ways we were both pretty selfish...and others did get hurt. Alot of our friends didn't understand why we were doing this (internet relationships NEVER work!) and became resentful of the fact we put ourselves first before them. But others supported us wholeheartedly...and not just our online friends. Members of my family scratched their heads at my impulsiveness, but gave their blessing when they saw my determination...not to mention the look in my eye and the smile whenever I talked about my 'new man'. One cousin said she had never seen that before with me...

We knew at the outset we'd have a rough road...for me it was moving to a place with no family, no friends...and not knowing my way around anywhere. Then there was my son...who in the beginning was looking forward to starting over in a new place, but quickly hated living in a small town with "nothing to do". He ended up leaving for the summer, going to stay with friends in another state. That was very hard for me...but letting him go was best for both of us.
It was easier for Billy's kids...having a pool helped, and they still had friends and family here to help them adjust to this new life. We...me, Billy and his kids' mom had already made our peace, and were at least civil to one another for the sake of the kids. It was awkward at times, but we made the best of it when necessary.
So...it's been a year since I moved. Any regrets? Absolutely not. Anything I would've done differently? Probably not...if it meant the outcome would've been different.

We focused on the Big Picture...and let the details work themselves out. We didn't worry so much about what other people thought, because in the end it was what we thought that mattered most. The distance was less than a day's drive...well worth it for a lifetime of happily ever after.

I'm not going to say that this scenario is one everyone should go out and do. We knew...without any doubts that this was what we wanted. Only someone who has met and connected with another person on the level we have will truly understand this.
It doesn't always work...and when a person does try and it doesn't work, whether because its the wrong person, place or time... it can leave them jaded and cynical.
All I can say is...you know when it's right. When you meet your soul mate and suddenly you feel a part of you that you didn't even know was missing has fallen into place again...more than lust or even love. You just know. And when that happens, you let go of the fear and the cynicism without even thinking about it...and you do whatever it takes to keep from being apart.

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by sundance64:
It's Tax Day!!!
A Family Outing...Redneck Style
Drivin'...(reposted for SexySaturday)
Saturday Buffet...
Girl Friends...(reposted)
Your Best Feature (re-posted)
New Driver!!
A New Dawn
New Pic! Haha...
Fun Game (But not new)
Funny true story
I'm Guilty!!
The 700 mile Rabbit Hole...
American Idol...
Talk about a fucking hypocrite!!
Just a thought before bed...about horses
So I have this pussy...
PSA...just a reminder
After Dark pt 6 (Conclusion)
C'mon people...
After Dark pt 5 (since I skipped a day...Bonus)
After Dark 4
The power of prayer and positive thinking...
After Dark pt 3
After Dark pt 2


Comments:

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itsallforfun

Mar 16 @ 10:58AM  
I think its wonderful for the both of you...best wishes for a long and happy life together..
freakin_u

Mar 16 @ 11:01AM  
that is a beautiful story...It is nice when you find that someone special.Sure it took a while but the end result sounds very positive..kudos to you. Now when do I meet my match????
SxzeNewMe

Mar 16 @ 11:07AM  
*sniffle* I'm happy to say I watch this whole story unfold! Awesome blog - gives hope :)
redbronze

Mar 16 @ 11:07AM  
Smile..
gwenafar

Mar 16 @ 11:10AM  
I met a few people from here...wonderful guys. Sometimes Impulsivity is a wonderful thing, Sunny . Being impulsive in my life has led to some great things ....

I wish you both MUCH happiness together!!!!

You seem to be a perfect match.
31sunshine

Mar 16 @ 11:15AM  
I still remember reading the blogs about your first trip to see each other. I can't be happier for 2 people who definately belong together.

And I think a key is that you focused on the big picture, which I think is key. It's too easy to get overwhelmed and bogged down in the little things.
j3411

Mar 16 @ 11:39AM  
Thank You for sharing this. Perhaps the best for me to take away from this post is that it can and does happen. The story of the willingness to forget what we may think we know and let our hearts truly lead us is an inspiration.
tlc0766

Mar 16 @ 11:49AM  
I admire you so much for taking that chance and moving to a whole new state, it was a brave thing to do. You guys seem so good for each other and I am so happy for you two!!!!
Scottishtease

Mar 16 @ 12:22PM  
Sundance, thank you for sharing that wonderful story...it makes those of us still searching have hope. Tease. :>)
NightOfOld

Mar 16 @ 12:33PM  

I'm proud to say I watched this happen and was very please about it. Both of them were on my friends list at the time and both very nice people. I could not be happier for the two of them, And they both remain my my friends list today I'm prous to say.

To both of you Billie and Sunny

And here's a green thing for a very nice blog Sunny.
NachoBaby

Mar 16 @ 12:54PM  
Seven solid years I've been happy (for the most part) with my internet lover.. who moved 2,700 k miles to be with me.. yup it works.

I remember the early days of Sunny and Canu.. "Sam, she's crazy!" yeah.. yeah .. crazy.. like a fox.. lol gawd.. I dunno about on Sunny's side but Canu fought it tooth and nail til she finally slowed down enough he could catch her. It's been great watching it unfold and grow.

So yes, ladies and G's this damned stupid childish crazy site DOES work!!!
GSpotGina

Mar 16 @ 1:06PM  
Besides devotion and commitment to each other, it is looking at the big picture that guarantees success -- especially when we have children that will be affected. I think it's definitely okay to be selfish, but we all need to know where to draw the line at impulsiveness when we have children. Sure, little ones can adjust more readily, but most preteens strive for stability. Sunny and Canu definitely took their families into consideration.

It takes a lot of strength to maintain a long distance relationship. Even when the distance is close enough to see each twice a month, we still don't have the same opportunity to learn of each other inside out, as if we were to have daily exposure to each other. If we are the ones who feel we're in a better position to eventually relocate, we better make sure that he or she is not the only reason we're going to do this. Relocating back home again may not be as simple as leaving in the first place.

I've made major changes in my life. Heck, if moving from NY to TN isn't a drastic change in itself, then I don't know what is! Unfortunately, my LD relationship did not survive. He turned out to be an incurable functioning alcoholic. Such signs are easy to miss when all you're able to "see" is light social drinking when you're out together one or two weekends a month, even for a year.

I still don't regret my choices, because I made sure to look at the big picture and that I could ensure the survival and happiness of myself and my children. If there's any question, "Would I personally take this risk again?" The answer is, yes, absolutely. Just, this time around, in consideration for my preteens -- I'll wait for the empty nest (unless... they want to come to me! ).

jcarolina

Mar 16 @ 1:07PM  
That's an awesome story. And I'm glad you made NC your new home. Yeah, it's laid back and seemingly slow, but the people are the greatest!
There's a lot of history here too.

I'm kinda hoping for a similar situation to happen for me as well. I've had a habit of rushing into things in the past, and meeting someone far away would give me more of a chance to know someone better and avoid potential problems.

Great blog!! Have a green thing, before I head to my friend's place with it.
ladybootscooter

Mar 16 @ 1:22PM  
Ya know Sunny, I've been a member here for 8 long years now, but only "found" the blogs just over a year ago. I remember "lurking" for some time. Reading, commenting here and there as I got to kind of know the storylines and the people posting them. I remember following with great interest your and Billy's love story. The awesome visit and the great move. Then there's been Krissy and G, a move even farther, there was Mike and Babs (wonder sometimes how she's doing?) and of course Shawn and Kim. Each pairing has brought us joy, because even tho we weren't personally involved it gave each of us hope that the love is out there, that you can overcome distance and difficulty, that perhaps it's not always the fairy tale perfect story of happily ever after, we are all human........ but it's still a happiness that each of you might not have ever found had it not been for meeting the other. Kudos to you for sharing the story with the newbies and for reminding some of us that it can and does work!
slowcum869

Mar 16 @ 2:57PM  
Great content! I'm new at all this even though I'm older then most here.. I'm still learning a lot.. You have put a face and story on the unspoken concerns of mine and for others no doubt.. WOW!ho Your insights are great Like a guide through the wilderness. You are for many and for me, a beacon of hope really... Nice to know that under the desires for hot sex and lustful play is the issues of the heart that are still so real for all ( or most ) of us here.

I do like to write. I have yet to post a blog... just gettting to know my way around and make a few friends here... Thanks for being so real and planting seeds of hope in fields full of doubts and uncertainty... Really great! uplifting hope...Thanks for giving us this real treasure we all need... I found this here in you blog today..

Bless you both for your courage and determination. I wish you more good fortune!

Thank you!!! Jay
girlcountry

Mar 16 @ 4:37PM  
Sunny, couldn't say it better myself!! All the best to you and canu, may you find the hapiness that I have!!


*leaves a green thing that i found!*
DarkDesires99

Mar 16 @ 4:52PM  
I’m happy for you both!
I can’t wait for my own situation to not be long distance anymore.
Over a 1000 miles apart is way too far from the one you love.
canuhelpme258

Mar 16 @ 7:42PM  
Sammy she is still crazy ya know! I just found out I love her brand of craziness!
SexPet

Mar 16 @ 7:52PM  
Perfect timing for me to read this - thanks for sharing.
canuhelpme258

Mar 16 @ 8:30PM  
If our story serves as inspiration, then sharing it is the very least that we can do....

No really!

Okay I go be grown up... let the crazyladythatgotsredhair play now buh bye!

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The 700 mile Rabbit Hole...