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Mick

posted 3/13/2008 8:52:03 PM |
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  sugarnspice005

No...the name is in no way related to anyone here..believe me.

I've been thinking all day that March 25 is only 12 days away.....I know..some are wondering wtf is up with March 25? It is part of why I'm here today.

I remember my sister getting her first computer..it had Windows 98 pre-installed on it...the internet was relatively new..and at the time she and I were staying at our parents house. She got her computer hooked up to the net...and she and I would spend hours on it just surfing the web....thinking how cool email was cause you could mail anyone in the world and didn't have to lick a stamp. Well..one day while surfing..I came across a dating site called "IntroServ"...and for the hell of it..made a profile. A week later..I got an email that caught my attention...the writer talked of "the gods" (Aries, Venus...those Gods), universe, and nature. I thought..well, this one definitely stands out from the rest. So, yes, I wrote him back, challenged him that since he "talked so smart", if he could tell me what my screen name meant, (I don't remember the exact spelling.but it was a latin term for a type of butterfly), I would keep emailing him. Next day...I got another email from him, and I remember him saying my screen name was latin for "flutter byes", (yes, that is how he spelled it) And I thought to myself, a deal is a deal. Eventually I gave him my actual email address and we wrote each other daily. I had learned he was living with his mother, taking care of her. She had diabetes, edema, congestive heart failure (she was 80 yrs old), and she didn't want to be in a nursing home. So..he was staying with her, taking care of her, taking care of the house, her car, etc. I also learned that he had a wild sense of humor, (zany as a good friend of mine called it. ) His favorite comic book was the Cheech Wizard series...he had quite a collection of them. I also learned that he had worked as an electrician for the likes of Iggy Popp, Alice Cooper, Deep Purple, and Motorhead. But his passion was restoring classic muscle cars, especially the 68 Dodge Chargers, that was his favorite car.
Eventually we met in person, and something clicked, it felt RIGHT to be with him. It started off I would spend weekends with him and his mother ( she was one of the sweetest people I had ever met)...and eventually, after knowing him for almost a year, I said yes when he asked if I would consider moving in with him. His mother was thrilled to have another woman in the house to talk to...and we also became close. For almost a year I thought Mick was an only child...then Mom talked about the brother. So..I asked Mick about this brother...and he told me that he and his brother didn't get along. There was an 8 year difference in ages..Mick being the younger of the two. It was then I realized, in the whole time I've known these two..I've never known the other brother to call or write. Mick explained that his brother didn't "like" him..which, me being close with my 2 younger sisters, I couldn't really grasp. Then Mick told me about the robbery in Detroit where he was beaten and left for dead..and how he found out later that his brother had a part in that. So..ok...yeah...older brother, not a nice guy.

So, life was great for a couple of years, Mick was restoring a 68 Dodge Charger, yes, there were trips to the hospital with his Mom because her health was poor. She had visiting nurses that came in twice a week to check on her..one became a good friend. One day, out of the blue, Mom told us that the Brother ( I will not use his name..) called and asked her if she wanted to go down to his place for a visit...she ecstatic...and said yes. Now, I need to mention, for the entire 2 years that I had lived with Mick and Mom...I NEVER heard the Brother call her on her birthday, on Mother's Day, or on Christmas, I remember on those days her watching for the mail to go by...sending Mick out to check to see if there was a card or letter from her other son and his family...and each time he came in empty handed (except for bills), I remember seeing her eyes tear up, but, she didn't cry, she would say things like, "maybe he forgot", or, "maybe tomorrow". So yes, I can see why she would be so happy and eager to go spend time with him when he asked her. I remember when she told Mick and I that she was going to go visit..I got a bad feeling..but, I kept my mouth shut, I didn't want to ruin her happiness. To this day...I REALLY wish I had spoken up. Mick did ask her if she was positive that she wanted to do this, and she said yes, that she felt she was "in the way", to which I told her that in no way was she ever in the way. Well, the day came when the Brother showed up to pick Mom up. I still had that bad feeling that just wouldn't go away..Mick picked up on my mood and asked what was wrong, and I told him I had a bad feeling about this trip. He admitted to having a bad feeling about it too, and that he had already approached his mother about it, and she had said not to worry. Brother showed up, he had brought two of his kids with him, and they helped get Mom and her suitcase in the car. After they were gone, Mick and I went up to the bank to get some money for groceries..and the one teller who was close with Mick and his Mom commented on how Mom was just there asking for a printout of her savings and checking accounts. At the time, Mick was her listed legal guardian...so yeah, something like that, they told him.

Well, after a couple of days, Mick got concerned when Mom didn't call to tell us how she was enjoying her trip. So, he called his brother, and never really got a straight answer from him or any of the kids. It was a couple of weeks later, a bill from a hospital down by his brothers showed up...so Mick opened it, and it was bill for a 2 day stay for his mother, amazingly, the same day she had been picked up by the Brother. Mick got on the phone right away...and after some loud cussing and a threat of a major lawsuit...he found out that from the hospital, Mom was transferred to a rat hole nursing home. I had the following day off from work, so Mick and I went to this nursing home, and sure enough, there was Mom, in a little cubicle barely big enough for the small bed and nightstand she was assigned to, her only "privacy", a blanket pulled closed. The first thing she said when she saw us was that she wanted to go home, NOW. Mick asked why she didn't call, and she said they wouldn't let her use the phone, that they had to get the Brother's permission to allow her to use the phone. Well, needless to say, Mick didn't take that news too well...and decided he was taking his mother home...

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sugarnspice005

Mar 13 @ 9:26PM  
We almost got to the car, and one of the nurses came out saying that Mom couldn't leave the premises without her guardians permission..to which Mick told her he was her guardian. The nurse said no, that "your brother is her legal guardian". After debating for a few minutes, Mom told Mick she would go back with the nurse for now, and for Mick to get this straightened out with his brother. We got home, he called his brother, and they had a huge blow up...and the brother told Mick he was "never going to see his mother again". The next day, Mick called the nursing home to talk to Mom to let her know he had to get a lawyer to get her back home, but, the nurse told him he wasn't allowed any contact with Mom. A few days later, court papers showed up in the mail for a hearing to determine guardianship/conservatorship. We went to the hearing, and it didn't go well. See...the Brother, he was "clean cut, clean shaven", while Mick on the other hand, long hair, looked like a biker. The judge granted guardianship/conservatorship to the Brother. Mick took this hard, but wasn't about to give up. He talked to a lawyer, who advised he could try to appeal, but it was doubtful he would be able to get the decision reversed. But, he tried anyway....still couldn't call or write to him mother because the brother wouldn't allow it. 2 months into all of this....Mom passed away. The Brother called at 2am to tell Mick. And when Mick asked about memorial services etc...Brother hung up. Mick kept trying to call his brother to get information about a memorial service, but there was no answer at his brothers. He was going online to check the area newspaper for an obituary, but one never showed. A week later, more court papers, this time, for probate. Mom's Last Will and Testament. Well...apparently Mom had changed her Will because Mick had a copy of it...so...here went a probate fight. It was then that Mick and I found out that Mom had had a tidy trust account set up for Mick...and the Brother wanted to get his hands on it...but...Mom had been in a nursing home for the last 7 months..which ate up that trust account, leaving a couple of thousand dollars, so now the Brother was trying to grab the house.....but he didn't know that Mom had transferred ownership of the house to as a way of thanks for his helping her. End result...Brother kept the couple of thousand dollars, but did NOT get any ownership claim to the house..which in the eyes of the law was Micks.

A month after all of this, 9/11 happened....Mick and I were watching that day unfold, and actually feeling thankful that Mom didn't see that. Shortly after that, Mick sold the house, and we moved closer to where I work. We got settled, and Mick bought me a German Shepherd puppy...he knew I had been missing my other dog..who I had to have put down months before. So, new house, new puppy, new life. So I thought. We were remodeling..we started with the main bathroom...and were going to do the 2nd bathroom later that summer. Mick still was feeling like he let his Mom down by not getting her out of that nursing home...where she died at. I told him that she never felt he let her down, that she knew he was trying to get her out of there. It was about this time I noticed Mick had developed a dependency on pain killers, they were a morphine pain killer, dilaudids, (not sure of the spelling). I tried convincing him to get help, but of course he would always say he had it under control Well..when I had to actually take his prescrip with me to work to keep him from taking more than he should...I told him then he needed to get help..get into rehab. Yes, we argued a few times over that. I worried about the addiction, and his continuing to work on restoring the Charger while on the pain killers...he was taking 2 at a time every hour...seriously. March 25, 2002, we had been in the new house for 5 months, the puppy Mick got me was 4 months old, and that day had, for the first time, went to the door to demand to go out...he was FINALLY becoming housebroken. It was going on 1pm that day when Mick asked me to go up to the bank to get some money out for more remodeling stuff. I asked him to keep an eye on the puppy....kissed him, told him I loved him...and that I would be right back. I made him promise to keep an eye on the puppy..and he promised he would. 1:20 I got back from the bank...and the house seemed oddly quiet...even with a tv blaring. (Mick's hearing wasn't so good). I remember the puppy being by the door looking freaked out, and Mick's cat running up to me meowing. I hung up my coat, and went towards the bedroom, before even going in the bedroom, I could smell something weird. There was Mick, leaning up against the headboard of the bed....as if he were watching tv...but, he wasn't watching tv....that weird smell was a mixture of gun powder and blood....while I was at the bank...Mick had taken his .38 out and took his life. Part of my life ended that day too...cause Mick, for all his flaws, was my life, my other half. This year will be 6 years since that day...I used to love March, Springtime, new life, etc....now, I still look forward to it...but just not in the way I used to.

So.......if I seem overly bitchy, touchy, or just plain out shitty in the next few weeks................it's that time of the year for me.

Why did I feel the need to write this? I don't know...maybe because March 25 is 12 days away, and Mick has been on my mind all day...or maybe I just felt like writing from my heart for a change instead of being a smart ass. Who knows.
lemondrop

Mar 13 @ 9:36PM  
Oh Jesus,
I am crying at nearly 2am in my jammies and to ever think that I took things for granted.
I know my words mean little but I am so very sorry for your loss, what an awful wrong thing to happen.
My thoughts are with you & if you feel the need to talk or vent, you know how to get in touch.
You are alive and well, try not to dwell too much on the past, you cannot change it and doing so will not erradicate the hurt or the sense of loss it will only thicken it like sour milk. Be happy you knew him and that you had him in your life and don't let yourself become bitter about it.
Think of the really good times and try your best to think positively.
x
Angel_N_Motion

Mar 13 @ 9:37PM  
Thank you for sharing.

I have no words, but I offer you an abundance of Hugs.

DeDe54

Mar 13 @ 9:39PM  
You have told me this story sis! I know how much Mick meant to you. If you need to talk, bitch, scream, moan, whatever, I'm here to listen.

I love you!!!!!!!

Thank you for the story!
borty293

Mar 13 @ 10:14PM  
Thankyou for sharing ...I don't have any words to make things better for you but I believe things happen for a reason,,,its up to us to understand what that reason is. Its hard to believe that sometimes because things seem so random but there is a purpose to everything...its just hard to understand sometimes.
NachoBaby

Mar 13 @ 10:17PM  
Aww see now I can't go being all bitchy anymore..

I'm here too.. got an inbox with your name on it.. holler all you want I won't take it personally.

Ewe_Wish

Mar 13 @ 10:25PM  
I remember a couple times we talked about this Sugar, You know I think the world of you and am here for you if you need me................lubs ya girlfriend.
Sunshine79

Mar 13 @ 10:45PM  
Should have put a tissue tag with that one....

You are one strong lady. I couldn't imagine to first lose a good friend (mom) and then a lover.

Lot's of hugs and good thoughts are being sent your way!!
Lisa46

Mar 13 @ 11:21PM  
aw sugar my tears are falling down my face I am soo very sorry for your pain. but like they said above me You did get Mick for a while and that love is something that you will always have. My inbox is also open for you
StraddleMyNose

Mar 14 @ 3:58AM  
sugarnspice005

Mar 14 @ 6:49PM  
Just want say thanks to all of you.......you're truly great people and I'm honored to call you friend.
funnywhapper

Jan 15 @ 11:06PM  
i made a real life movie today, based on asphalt jungle(1950). it was called
make love to me all year. it was a supply division special. i had a new years
resolution i was gonna find one woman and make love to her all the time all year.
but after one day, that was enuff. so the joke was on me. and i almost
went to jail today. close call. it involved extortion, kidnapping, sheriffs, clarence
kelly former director of the f.b.i. after j. edgar hoover, bad guys, kids, a lost
daughter who denies it, or who is sad, cause maybe her dad did die, and i
look like him, and her x husband, it was film noir during the daytime. so at the end
sterling hayden goes home, wounded and says aw phooey, and swears he
will never talk to a woman again. cause, women they are nothing but trouble.
and german nazi spy is arrested in it too. at a song and dance spot outside.
it was interesting cast of real life characters. when my parents die, their whole estate, it goes
to the govt. i believe in a 100% inheritance tax. if not for the us govt.
we'd all be deader than doornails.

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