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Our Favorite Jokes

posted 3/10/2008 12:59:31 PM |
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I'd like to get a list of everyone's favorite joke, I'm posting mine in my blog and please post your's in a comment.

((this joke is totally fictional, I'd never do anything like this to someone I loved enough to have a relationship with, but it makes me chuckle when I think of it))

I was in bed with my girlfriend the other night and things were getting pretty hot. I was getting ready to round thrid base when all of the sudden she says, "No, I just want you to hold me. You're not in touch enough with my emotional needs for me to satisfy your physical needs." So I put Mr. Winki away and went to sleep.

I woke up early the next morning and thought about what she said last night, and after some deliberation I decided to call into work, play hookie, and spend the day with her. We went to a department store, the name of which shall be unmentioned, and spent the day shopping.

She did a hell of a lot of browsing, which was pretty boreing, but I managed to keep her from seeing me yawn when I did. Eventually we ended up in the really swanky section of the women's clothes department. She looked at the outfits and started trying them on. She eventually ended up with three outfits that she really liked but couldn't decide which one to get. So I told her, "Go ahead and take them all." She was so happy and excited, I just had to smile.

We did some more browsing around, and I did some more yawning, and then we ended up in the shoe department. She had the idea of getting a pair of shoes for each outfit, and she really wanted to do it, so I said, "Go on honey, whatever you want." She tried on what seamed like hundreds if not thousands of shoes before she settled in on three pairs.

After more browsing, and yawning, through the store we ended up at the jewelry department. She looked over all the bright shiney stuff under the glass with an eye as bright as the diamonds she was viewing. She had her heart set on one piece a necklace with three diamonds pendant, all I could do was nod and put it on her.

After all this she said, "Alright I'm done, lets go to the checkout."

To which I replied, "No, I just want you to hold these things. You're not in touch enough with my financial needs for me to satisfy your shoping needs."

Apparently..... I'm not having sex tonight either.....

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Mar 10 @ 1:09PM  
Today is National Good Looking Day......Send this to somebody but not me...... I've been getting this damn text all day long and don't have time to read them.

Mar 10 @ 1:15PM  
A little girl walks past her parents room and looks in the keyhole and says to herself "and the bitch gets mad because I suck my thumb !!"

Mar 10 @ 1:32PM  
there was 3 men who died and went to hell when they got there satin said to the first man i understand you are a drunk i am going to put you in a room full of booz for 10 years if you don't drink any you can go to earth and continue your life,satin said to the next man i understand you are a nympho i am going to put you in a room full of horney girls for ten years if you don't fukk any of them you can finish your life, satin said to the last man i understand you are a pot head i am going to put you in a room full of ganj if you don't smoke any you can finish your life,so ten years later satin opens the first door and the booz are gone so he failed he opens the second door and he is screwing a gal then so he failed he then opens the last door and there is pyrmids of doobies everywhere satin is appauled he says you haven't smoked any how did you do it satin ask's the man the man then replies i forgot my damn lighter

Mar 18 @ 8:16PM  
what BR said ouch

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Our Favorite Jokes