like touching yourself with a tazer set on "burn baby burn!"
Current mood: drunk
alright ye little wee corn children of the price is right! ye who would unsettle the british colonies with yer paris hiltons and nicole richies blowup dolls, yer lubricant of stars and yer ghost busters labels flyzappers! ye, are the scurge of the world, you ungratefule, self centered wee little scottish terrors...terrirers... bill clinton!
now... i dont have beer, but i dont have cham pog ney. or more simply wine! which now that i think about it has more of an effect the al gores version of the price is right...which would somehow include a parady of bush administration, dick cheneys invitation to a peewee touch football game hosted by micheal jackson and the plastic surgery five. oh yes... were running out the gates of this little bitch ON FIRE!!!! YEEE HAWWW! and i just want to lube the gears of this little terror on the net by saying the following to the closed minded masses that is the dominican republic. feck off! yer not doing a bit of damned good ye wined stained hick billys!
i say hick billes because there are three types of people in the world (andn o offense to friends of mine that are from the dominion of dominican repluc. love ya, squeeze ya in the right place, and have fun with ya allllll night long!
in the mean time, ive got a headache the size of lord crabby pants mc cormick... i cant stop thinking about south park at the moment, because its just the right hting to say after some of the fucking shit ive posted on this blog of minds... that would make obama turn whiter then micheal jacksons sister ofter her top was "accidentaly ripped off." wow. and to think... she just flashed over 12,000 horny old codgers in there hawaiin shorts, socks and sandals, and sunglases wondering where the fuck is the peta group. cause that poodle got pwned... hehe....now were getting somewhere.
gates of the underworld rejoice! and then promptly run in terror as you relaize your going to the catholic religion to get felt up by father brian andthen tossed into the touch football game hosted by micheal jackson and the plastic surgery five. and then, just for the fuck of it. youll be adopted by angelina jolie and be parented by the only woman to make out with ehr brother, sever ties with her father because hes wondering when hes gonna get some. and after five years youll get a call from adam baldwin stating that hes flying over to ireland to straighten your ass out, because according to him, yourn othing but a distinguishly disgusting little pig with no manners at all. and even after that, youll still earn your pay by working for the devil himself. thats right, im tlaking about jay z and fifty cent combined. donald trump. HA! didnt see that one coming did you????
ok, enough about the small talk, like i said before, ive done some and writen some dumb shit in my life. and the worst is yet to come? why? i dont know... i dont know... i dont know where im going to go in cocomo. i love that song as well as, "and i ran... i ran so far away... and i ran... i ran to get away... so i run away.." not to mention, "if you like penis colada's... and like getting fucked in the rain.... then youll love.. getting fucking by ghost rider again!"
speaking of really really awful movies... has anyone seen peter jacksons king kong? or was it the one about the midget who has to destroy a rin in a week or his ex wife will send hordes of orcs to destroy him? sounds like a parady of spidermans honey moon.
how do you feel? to treat me like you do? do you knowtice the world around you? how do you feel? i love this song im listening to right now?
how about them little monsters up in the american slasher buero? hah! you thought i was oging to rip on the asb? didnt you?! well your wrong! again! hah! i fool you again! like anna nicole smiths autopsy report, i will reveal the true name of my babys daddy... just as soon as jesus comes back from the kingdom of heaven to take away your money proclaiming that it will help the lord...and the preachers vampire choir boy problem. cause they suck...your blood. like al gores inconveinnet truth. and the olson tiwns eating problems.
or tony danzas drunken slobber fest with a bad replica of tony danza. he loves himself too much. you ever wonder why he smiles all the time? its like hes not even human. hes just a sex god. he like "im impotent! no more!" and he gets harders to make soft then an al quida crack head with sever leprisy.
amongst other thoughts in my head that make absolutely no sense to the human mind whatso ever. isnt there areal reason that donald trump lost his wig...oh...that his actual hair? i did not know that? i just thought he superglued a run over possum to his head and called it hair.
in other news... these fires are making baking a batch of cookies harder to do then thinking about martha stewart and paris hilton as cell mates. ones decorating the place while the other just wants to get out and land her ass back in again. there isnt much to do these days besides, sit back, smoke a ciggerette and wonder what happened to our hero the marbollo man? he died of lung cancer... and that made everyone sad.
speaking of thel ovely little disease called cancer. i cant think of a worse death then having your body make more cells then it actualy needs. and thats another hting ive been wondering about. vaginas. no seriosly, for one of the longest moments in my life... namely ten minutes, ive actualy wondered about how big they actualy were. i mean, weve all studied the diagrames right? or namely bad porn where it just doesnt show anything besides the breasts... fun as they are to look at. but seriosly, besisdes the effects and what not of the females period and what not. and thats got to be more uncomfortable then leaving evidense that something did happen in roswell new mexico. actualy they did see aliens... but it turned out to be micheal jackson standing infront of a white light with timmy bending down to pick up a penny in front of him.
where the hell was i? oh yeah, periods. the dreaded time of the month where milk sales at the local grocery store are actualy higher then the kmk between events. its actualy always facinated me. i mean, do women just gradualy get used to the pain when the egg is pssing into the uterian wall? as well as the hormones? which kinda made me wonder if all the female patients in insane asylums who had shcizophrenia were just on there ugly week when they went to the dark side of the mind.
and child birth. oh yes, i knew i would eventualy get to this subject faster then judgito decision that oj didnt do it with the candle stick in the kitchen with the professor. at this point im feeling the effects of the wine... and bhampagne, and the fruit blend. all at the same time. i wonder how many pages ive written.... anyways. childbirth, that miraculous moment in time where the mother blames
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