AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

Two Funnies...

posted 2/26/2008 9:10:43 PM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
tagged: joke, scam
  sundance64

Got these in email today...ones a scammer email (not from here) with my reply...the other a joke

PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USE IT FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD.

I am Sister Juanita Michael from Bahrain. I am married to Dr. Daniel Michael who worked with Bahrain embassy in cote d'ivoire for nine years before he died in the year 2000.We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both born again Christians. Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.When my late husband was alive hedeposited the sum of (7.5Million U.S. Dollars)with one of the Security Company here in Cote D Ivorie.Presently, this money is still with the security company. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem.Though what disturbs me most is my stroke Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to church or better still a christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I want a church that will use this to fund churches, orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner.

Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bossom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my healthbecause of the presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Security company in ivory coast.I will also issue you a letter of authority that will empower you as the original- beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian.

Who ever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth.Please always be prayerful all through your life. any delay in your reply will give me room in searching for a church or christian individual for this same purpose.Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Please Dear find it in your heart to respond through my yahoo mail for easy communication {email address removed}

My reply:

Sorry babe, but i'm a gay pagan in an open relationship with my girlfriend and her husband. While I'd love to get your money and would certainly use it to help the widows and orphans...I just don't think I'm quite what you're looking for. But good luck anyway.
Goddess Bless

and the Joke

Irish Lent

An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone.

An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers.

Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?"

"Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies. "You see, I have two brothers. One went to America and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond."

The bartender and the whole town were pleased with this answer, and soon the Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.

Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening. He orders only two beers. The word flies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.

The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here, me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know the two beers and all."

The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I, meself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent."

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by sundance64:
Talk about a fucking hypocrite!!
Just a thought before bed...about horses
So I have this pussy...
PSA...just a reminder
After Dark pt 6 (Conclusion)
C'mon people...
After Dark pt 5 (since I skipped a day...Bonus)
After Dark 4
The power of prayer and positive thinking...
After Dark pt 3
After Dark pt 2
For the Blogging Contest...After Dark pt 1
Two Funnies...
Dumb Questions and a Shout out to a Gentleman
Something Different (re-posted)
Spirituality vs. Religion
Note to self...
Dinner?
Some More Pet Peeves
Saturday morning and feeling better
The Birthday Dinner...
Friday Quiz...Just how smart are you?
Multiple Profile Syndrome?
Flying Monkeys, Train Wrecks and Nurse Betty (Oh My!!)
The Stella Awards


Comments:

post a comment!

sumdaysoon

Feb 26 @ 9:23PM  
an irishman can always find a way to get a beer.......
asnet

Feb 26 @ 9:58PM  
that is a true Irish joke and I may try it out on some of the major league Irish people I know here. As for the nun, or whatever she is, she sounds like my next-door neighbor who claims she is some sort of internet entrepreneur.
NachoBaby

Feb 26 @ 10:39PM  
Greetings in the name of Eris, most high...

I will gladly accept your cash donation to be used for the care and feeding of orphan demons..

what? why not? you don't like orphan demons? If it wasn't for orphan demons we wouldn't have Ashy... and I like Ashy...
Sunshine79

Feb 26 @ 10:44PM  
OMG, both the response and the joke were hilarious!!
sundance64

Feb 26 @ 11:00PM  
I'm off to bed goys and burls...ya'll behave!

wow...burls is a real word? Firefox says it is...
NachoBaby

Feb 27 @ 10:24AM  
burls is a real word.. it means a swirly knot in wood! Sometimes caused by a bee sting! Damn ... I gotta get out more.
canuhelpme258

Feb 27 @ 3:31PM  
A dysfunctional Irish family is one that is sober....

Ummm I hope to hell you weren't having someone move in... ugh... I don't wanna see her here at the six one six

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB01
Two Funnies...