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Making a Baby

posted 2/25/2008 12:05:18 PM |
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tagged: joke

>There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny.
>The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
>surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to
>arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The
>man should be here soon.'
>Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
>happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning,
>Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'
>'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been
>expecting you.'
>'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know
>babies are my specialty?'
>'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
>After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'
>'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
>couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor
>is fun. You can really spread out there.'
>'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and
>'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
>try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm
>sure you'll be pleased with the results.'
>'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
>'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In
>and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
>'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.
>The photographer opened hi s briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
>baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
>'Oh, my word!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
>'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their
>mother was so difficult to work with.'
>'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.
>'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job
>done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good
>'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
>'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The
>mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate,
>and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the
>squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'
& gt;
>Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on
>'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and
>we can get to work right away.'
>'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too
>big to be held in the hand for very long.'
>Mrs. Smith fainted...........

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Feb 25 @ 2:05PM  

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Making a Baby