Hi guys! I know I haven't been posting here much lately, but it izn't becuz i don't love U. It's becuz of a combination of time spent secretly lusting after my neighbor (quite the time consuming endeavor. U'd be surprised.) and time spent stressing over my 300th blog. WOW! 300 fucking blogs. How many people have had 300 blogs on this bitch anyway? Not many, I know that! And hell...out of that I had 2 have at least three or four worth reading, right? Un4tunately 4 U guys, this izn't one of them.
But that's not my fault. If U were really dedicated U would find something entertaining about my blogs despite whether or not I am putting forth an equal amount of effort 2wards entertaining U. It's not my responsibility 2 make U laugh. Its up 2 U 2 find me funny. Now, if I can just find some way 2 apply that philosophy in the bedroom. "It's not my responsibility 2 make U cum..." I don't see that one flying. Not unless I want 2 be replaced by two AA batteries, that iz.
I've decided that if my wife ever comes 2 her senses and leaves my dumb ass I am going 2 replace her with a RealDoll. U know...if I'm not convinced otherwise. I mean...look at the benefits B4 U call me completely insane, would U? Instead of spending all that fucking money on make up and Oil of Olay and all that other beauty bullshit? All U gotta spring 4 iz a bottle of fucking Armor All and Ur fucking finished! How can U not love that fucking shit? I swear 2 God I saw that and I wuz like, "Box that bitch up and send her on home!"
So, yeah...I've been a little stressed out about my 300th blog. I feel like I should do something special. I wuz going 2 do the whole 300 reasons I love AMD thing, but un4tunately there iz only 284 reasons and I can't start bullshitting U guys now. U would know I wuz being disingenuine (I don't think that's a word, but we're gonna act like we're Dr. fucking Suess and say, "Fuck it!") when U were reading the other sixteen. The sixteen fake reasons. Besides, my 200th blog wuz a motherfucker 2 write and I don't think anyone even bothered 2 read the fucking thing.
OK - yeah...so that's the real reason, I suppose. I'm fucking lazy. Besides, rather than quit writing (like I could) during my respite (OK - that one iz a word, I just don't think I used it correctly. How many fuckits do I get per blog, again?), what I did wuz start blogging more over at blogger.com. I don't think I do my best writing over there, though. Maybe its cuz they let me post pictures of titties. Titties always fucking confuse me.
If a bitch ever wants 2 get the best of me all she has 2 do iz flash me. It's like a fucking switch gets flipped in my head, or something! I go directly 2 stupid, do not pass go, do not collect shit, motherfucker! "T-t-t-t-t-titties!" Its fucking grotesque. I can't watch it anymore. Something really should be done. Some kind of studies commissioned or some shit. I mean, look - I'm fucking cooperating here! I'm not the one holding shit up. Impeding progress, az it were.Besides, um...yeah...um...what wuz I talking about again?
Oh, yeah! My 300th blog! I hate these fucking milestones. That's why I make such a big fucking deal about them. Reverse psychology, don't U know? No...U wouldn't know anything about that, would U? Or maybe that's just what U want me 2 think...hmm?
I think I'm done. They are about 2 red flag my fucking race anyway. If that duzn't spell exit stage left then what fucking duz? I ask U that. Better yet - I fucking implore U! When wuz the last time U were implored, motherfucker? Ahhh...what's the fucking point?
Like anyone iz paying attention 2 how long I've been
Keeping U posted
DS 
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read more blogs!
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Ashinatrix
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Feb 24 @ 9:29PM
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you look vaguely familiar.......... 
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Sunshine79
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Feb 24 @ 9:30PM
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I thought you were lusting over me?? Moron!!
I could just box myself up and send me over your way....
Cost a bit in shipping from one coast to the other, but
it would be worth it!! No armor all required!!! 
Oh....go check your e-mail bitch!! 
15 days or so to go before I POP, YAY!!! 
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Looking4ever
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Feb 24 @ 9:34PM
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Did I ever mention how much I love your motherfucking ass? Deviant.
Hey, my Alma mater is celebrating it's 50th year and I am really going to try and get out there for it. If the wife hasn't come to her senses by September, we've got to do dinner or some shit.
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sundance64
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Feb 24 @ 9:47PM
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If Canu hadn't deleted all of his blogs last year he would have well over 600 by now! 
BTW...we're still looking for a drummer here...got any ideas?
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sumdaysoon
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Feb 24 @ 10:36PM
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where U been....... 
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belle1010
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Feb 25 @ 12:31AM
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I've been wondering where your deviant ass has been, then to find out you've been lusting after your neighbor instead of me??? Oh that's it, no more titty pics for you! And they are getting bigger ya know, pregnancy does that! 
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DarkDesires99
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Feb 25 @ 1:12AM
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Well 300 blogs, congratulations or something like that!
As for remembering you, gee how could we ever fucking forget you!
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canuhelpme258
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Feb 25 @ 2:18AM
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The women haven't forgot you.... they been lookin for Dick... 
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whisperingcomet
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Feb 25 @ 6:34AM
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I've said it before, now I say it again....
I like DICK 
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lifeizabitch
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Feb 25 @ 10:35AM
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disingenuine is not a word, but disingenuous is. 
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NachoBaby
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Feb 25 @ 12:33PM
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I meant to say somethin.. but it went out of my head when I got to thinkin about the Annie Mae real doll.. and you know those bodacious tata's on that toy.. and well.. what?
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Pudge2you
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Mar 24 @ 11:08AM
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That was not your best work.... LOLOLOLOLOLOL.
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