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Letting Go..Trusting Again

posted 2/23/2008 12:27:53 AM |
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  casuallylooking

Chances are really good that all of us on this site have endured the pain of an ended relationship and/or heart break at least once in our life.
That pain that hurts so bad you're not sure you can breathe, yet there is such an emptiness surrounding it. Like there is something literally missing from inside you.
And maybe there is....you're missing hope, happiness and the future that you may have imagined happening with that person.

The pain eventually subsides and we go on with our lives. Many times even to love again......But, in the meantime, do we ever really trust? Or as soon as someone says or does the wrong thing do we find an excuse to turn away from them?

We all bare scars and we carry those scars where ever we go. But how many others do we inflict those old scars upon?

When we can't allow someone new in our life, even as just a friend, isn't that unfair to us and to them? Aren't they then paying for anothers wrongs or guilts?

How long are we willing to not trust...to not allow another to show they aren't that person from our past...to allow the person who broke that trust to still have control over our feelings and happiness?

I'm not saying "Hey, just trust everyone you meet or talk to." Hell, we all know some people just aren't worth trusting. But others, who we never give the chance to find out about, just may be. They may be that one person who could be at least a very good friend.....or the last true love of your life.

But we may never know if we keep looking at the things that have happened in our past.


nope, it's not a sex blog..but it's not daylight yet. does that count?

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Comments:

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ladybootscooter

Feb 23 @ 12:39AM  
Damn good blog and good point Treas! It is hard to move on past the hurt and let someone else in. Just when I didn't think I'd ever care about anyone again....well it happens. Sometimes I think you just have to jump in and give it a chance otherwise what would be the point of going on living? Not much of a life with no love or friends in it! Shiny green thingy to ya!
BlueEyes708

Feb 23 @ 12:44AM  
Hey trusting can get you very hurt, but it can also give you many rewards. That's why I put myself out here to meet people and talk with them. There is always the delete key if they strike me the wrong way. But so far I've also learned a lot from some of the people here, and read some great stories, why would I leave.

And it's only 11:45 my time, so I'm safe.

Have a great weekend.

BlueEyes
ThePurpleProphet

Feb 23 @ 1:02AM  
I've pretty much given up on me ever falling in love agian. I haven't even pulled out the last dagger so I can let the wound heal. Maybe if I was SEXUALLY active I'd feel differently about it. But of course it's not just about the SEX. Nice blog.
lunanegra

Feb 23 @ 1:19AM  
I agree with this blog wholeheartedly;don't let someonelse suffer for another's past transgressions *nods*
beefygoblin

Feb 23 @ 4:50AM  
I believe the reason I am here is becouse I can't let go of the past. Otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here bloggin. I'd be meeting girls at bars and doing that whole macho club thing.

jcarolina

Feb 23 @ 5:51AM  
This blog is very true, I'm watching a close friend destroy a relationship with a sweet, scorching hot lady(that's an unlikely combination in these parts)because of his trust issues and his inability to work through them. Nasty irony, that he dated a few bad ones who betrayed and scarred him and because of that he's ruining(ruined?) something great.
I know what you mean, Goblin, i finally just put my past on a chain in the back yard. It's out of sight and can't bite me unless I get too close.
Ewe_Wish

Feb 23 @ 7:58AM  
In any kind of relationship (whether friends, love interest, family) there has to be trust for a relationship to survive, there also has to be a certain amount to allow a relationship to begin. I have always been to quick to trust............would rathr trust you unless you prove that your untrusty worthy...........but there was also a part of me that pretty much waited for that "other shoe to fall" and me get hurt. I am finding more and more, I dont trust as much or as quickly, but i do allow myself to trust at some point...........Great Blog Treas.
CANDACECSR

Feb 23 @ 8:23AM  
You have hit the nail on the head for what i am going through right now.....thanks for this post.....it has helped!
canuhelpme258

Feb 23 @ 8:30AM  
Scars are the wounds that show...
there are those that live inside us, those we never see, they become part of our refinements that allow each of us to be.
There are scars that bleed in silence with a mournful type of grace. These are the woulds we try to bury so they are never seen upon our face....
gwenafar

Feb 23 @ 9:44AM  
Wonderful blog...I used to think I could never trust again, but did...It took years for finally be able to let go of the past and let someone be trusted on their own merits because they deserved it. ...and not let them be the victim of MY past.
NachoBaby

Feb 23 @ 10:33AM  
How long are we willing to not trust...to not allow another to show they aren't that person from our past...to allow the person who broke that trust to still have control over our feelings and happiness?

I've seen a few do it forever.. and that's sad. the thing about love is.. if you want it.. you are gonna have to give it and take that chance.

sundance64

Feb 23 @ 11:24AM  
I did learn to trust again...completely. However, there are times I find myself reacting to certain situations the same way I have in the past with someone who was undeserving of my trust. It takes time for old wounds to heal...but with the right person, they do.
Lisa46

Feb 23 @ 11:42AM  
I never blame one person for a past mistake by another. Yet it is hard to trust with the whole heart.
asnet

Feb 23 @ 7:24PM  
This is one of the most thoughtful and insightful statements about trust I've ever seen anywhere. CL has a subdued voice that is very persuasive ... simplicity and understatement go with it. Could say more but will leave it at that for now.
Greeno upon you.
too_gullible

Feb 23 @ 8:09PM  
Casually, you have really put the truth out there with this one! I had been so hurt in the past and it was hard to let go of that and learn to love and trust again and to open up my heart completely and let someone in. I am so glad I did though as I am happier now than I ever thought anyone could be! I had to give you a kudo for this well thought out blog!
ynot7769

Feb 23 @ 8:38PM  
true.............amazing how our pasts can sometimes fuck with our futures ................IF we let it work that way

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Letting Go..Trusting Again