Today is kinda a real shit day for me, Its the 12th anniversary of the day my father died. I am the youngest of 5 children, and my father was 51 years old when I was born, and he was a hard worker he worked most of the time two jobs. not that he really needed to, he always made a decent living, he was a cop/ TV. repair guy, a mid wife,security gaurd, he was what we used to call Jack of all trade.
Being my father was already 51 when I was born, and was workin as often as he did, when I did get the time to spend wih him, it was only for a short time, and he would be called off to work. We used to spend the time we had when I got a little older, and he retired fromthe force, on fishing trips, and camping.
Of course I didnt have much time for him while I was in high school, what high school kid hangs with their parents? especially parents who where cops. lol Most of my friends got freaked out goin to my house. LMAO hey some had warrants. Well my daughter and her friends used to hang out with me all the time, but I was a single dad, and most of my daughters friends parents, where friends with me from grammer school. (nothing like small town life)
My father and my mother divorced in 1991, and in Sept.1996 my father and I where in a contract to buy a house together, with an early use in occupancy. We lived in the house while we fixed it up, awaiting the closing. I can say that since my folks had gotten divorced, my parants and I had gotten a lot closer as individuals, but On Feb 16th, 1996 Dad and I had a disagreement, and had not spoken to each other.
Later that night, he stood from his chair in his usual slow manner, now being 79 years old, and two open heart operations later. said he was going to bed.
The following morning, I was awaken by the phone ringing. it was my older brother. He asked me to tell my father he was on his way to visit with him. I went to my fathers room, to let him know my brother was on the phone, and thats when I had realized, the day my fathers cardiologists had told my family and I to prepare for at any givin time, had come. My father had passed away in his sleep. 12 years ago today. The worst part is, I never got the chance to tell my father I was sorry, and that the disagreement we had had, wasnt even that important.
R.I.P Dad, You are always in my heart.
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DarkDesires99
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Feb 18 @ 3:32PM
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I’m sorry, words can never express this loss.
These things are always hard. I’m glad I got to tell my parents how much I loved them before they were gone. Time makes it easier but it never goes away I still miss them and it’s been 24 years now.
The lesson in this for all of us is always tell the ones you love how much they mean to you!
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Lisa46
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Feb 18 @ 3:45PM
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My mom told me once no matter what I say to her she knows I love her. So I'm guessin that goes for all parents and their children!  He knew
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gwenafar
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Feb 18 @ 3:49PM
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Lisa is right...he knew....parents always know. I try to live each day like it is my last and try and say I love you to my kids as often as possible.  My heart goes out to you today....enjoy your memories  . They will always live in your heart.
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whisperingcomet
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Feb 18 @ 4:01PM
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Silly man,,,,you mentioned that you have a daughter...dont you already forgive her for everything she will ever do????
Your dad, being a dad, was the same way. But my heart goes with you today, as already stated (and im sure your know), it gets better, but the pain never goes away. When my heart is breaking anew for my mom, I remind myself, how much better it is, that I lost her, rather than her losing me.
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allforyou999
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Feb 18 @ 4:12PM
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Honor your Dad on this site...Come on Man
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xdcfx
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Feb 18 @ 4:16PM
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Well, I didnt really expect some dude with a picture of his shlong in his hand to comment on it either. lmao
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skyler22
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Feb 18 @ 4:17PM
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I AM SORRY TO HEAR THAT ABOUT YOUR DAD. I UNDERSTAND COMPLETLY THOUGH. I LOST MY FATHER 3 YEARS AGO. HE HAD JUST TURNED 45 YEARS OLD. ME AND MY DAD WERE FIGHTING WHEN THIS HAPPENED AND I HAVE NEVER FORGIVIN MYSELF FOR THAT. THE WORST PART IS THE MOTHER OF MY DADS YOUNGEST CHILD IS THE ONE THAT KILLED HIM AND GOT BY WITH IT. SHE GOT PREGNANT ON PURPOSE AND TRYED TO TRAP MY DAD LIKE THAT BUT AFTER AWHILE IT DIDNT WORK. HE WAS DRINKING THAT DAY AND WENT TO THE RIVER TO LEAR HIS HEAD. HE WAS LEAVING HER AND SHE KNEW IT. THEY SAY HE FELL IN THE RIVER BUT THERE WAS A LIQUER BOTTLE THERE AND ONLY THE NECK OF IT WAS LEFT. THE REST OF IT WAS IN THE WATER WHERE IT HAD BEEN BROKEN. MY DAD HAD A BRUISE ON THE FRONT AND SIDE OF HIS HEAD AND SHE IS THE ONE WHO FOUND HIM. I KNOW MY DAD VERY WELL AND I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT THE PLACE HE WAS FOUND HE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN. HE NEVER WENT DOWN IN THE WOODS AT THE RIVER BECAUSE OF SNAKES. HE ALWAYS STAYED AT THE DAM. SHE GOT BY WITH IT BUT SHE WILL HAVE TO ANSEWER TO GOD LATER ON. SOONER THAN SHE THINKS IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON HER. NOBODY HAS SEEN HER SINCE HE DIED. THEREIS NOT A DAY THAT GOES BY I DONT THINK OF HIM. SO MANY THINGS I DIDNT GET TO SAY. I KNOW HE IS WITH ME THOUGH AND THAT GIVES ME SOME COMFORT. IT NEVER GETS EAISER TO DEAL WITH HIS LOSS BUT I KNOW WE WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN SOMEDAY.
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hornytoad55
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Feb 18 @ 4:55PM
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My thoughts are with you xdcfx.  I lost my father last June . My dad and I didn't get along for years. I left home at 16 but about 15 years ago we made peace and in time became best friends.  Now that he is gone I wish we had the 20+ years back that we lost. 
The best of luck to you and remember we will always have the memories. 
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sundance64
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Feb 18 @ 5:08PM
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I lost my mom just over 14 years ago. I miss her every single day, but instead of focusing on the day she died...I celebrate her birthday instead. It just happens to fall a couple of days before the day I moved down here...so it's a happy time for me!
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hopon
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Feb 18 @ 5:12PM
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I am sorry that you are hurting...... and that is why even if I am upset with my parents (that happens only about one time a year), I still pick up the phone EVERY single day and tell them that I love them... cause.... ya never know....
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DarkKnightWalking
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Feb 18 @ 5:52PM
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My condolences, friend. having already lost both parents, I truly feel your pain.
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StraddleMyNose
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Feb 18 @ 10:03PM
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Like others stated here in their comments, my thoughts are too with you.
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