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Don't you just HATE it when...

posted 2/18/2008 9:12:12 AM |
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  mica89

I hadn't ever looked at the forums and there is a survey asking this question and since I hadnt seen it I figured others hadn't either so I figured I'd post a blog so we can all join in the hilarity....

••••••••••DON'T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN....?••••••••••••••••••••

ok..I'll bite.
DYJHIW......
-You are 30 seconds from orgasm with your gf/bf/so/ whoever and the Mormons knock on your door? And when you return, your bed buddy is SOUND asleep..

-You are totally sober and waiting to pass through a 2 am DWI checkpoint and 15 seconds before your turn your cigarette smoke goes in your eyes, leaving you looking like a Cheech and Chong groupie...

- A wicked hot woman/man (wearing NO ring) starts flirting w/ you at the laundrymat/store/etc and you end up having a fantastic 20 minute conversation and as you draw the very breath you plan to use to ask for her number, her boyfriend comes in and hugs her from behind (and even cups her breasts to "stake his claim")

-The grill runs out of gas 1/2 through the awesome steak dinner you are making to impress your romantic interest...and when you call the closest propane place to see if they are open, they inform you that yes, they are, but no, the propane delivery was delayed....so you have to drive 14 miles to get one and so peg your car at 122mph and get busted by the troopers and when you finally get home an hour later she is gone.
(and a ferile cat stole the steak anyway...)

- You are getting hot and heavy with your lover and when you yank back the covers, you discover you had been laying on a half chocolate bar(now melted and smeared...) that fell out of your coat pocket when you were getting dressed that morning and of course its the kind with nuts and so there is a giant skid mark/ pile on the sheet and before you can even explain she wretches and runs to the bathroom. And in 20 minutes when she comes out you stupidly try to prove that it IS INDEED chocolate by eating it, prompting her to again wretch and this time run from your house. And on Monday at work she completely ignores you and everyone kind of looks at you strangely...And someone leaves a memo recommending you watch something called "2 girls, one cup"...

- You are at a bar chatting up some lovelies and you discover that you are REALLY a funny guy because the 3 women are laughing at every single thing you say and you figure you are on a roll and your wit actually does make several other women laugh and when you get homeand take a leak you glance in the mirror and discover a piece of very dark colored spinach from your dinner has PERFECTLY covered your front tooth leaving you looking like a parody of a hillbilly or hockey player. And just to add insult to injury , as you go to unzip your fly to pee you discover it is already down and so must have been down allllll night.

_ While waiting to be called in to the owners office for a job interview that had been set up especially for you because the hiring dates were past, you fumble your water bottle and end up with a soaking wet crotch. And just as you walk in, you discover that the CEO asked his most valuable clients to sit in....

Those clients, of course, are this years Sports illustrated swimsuit models.


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Comments:

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CANDACECSR

Feb 18 @ 9:51AM  
OMG!!!! .....You are hilarious!!!.....best laugh I've had in a long time!!!
featherone

Feb 18 @ 10:20AM  
hahaha, too funny!
Lisa46

Feb 18 @ 10:52AM  
OMG I can actually visualize it happening
DarkDesires99

Feb 18 @ 11:06AM  
Funny stuff.
jcarolina

Feb 18 @ 1:48PM  
I would post a comment, but I can't see through the tears well enough to write

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Don't you just HATE it when...