AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

Troll Killers, Inc. Grand Re-Opening!!!

posted 2/12/2008 2:58:10 AM |
6 kudosgive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
tagged: trolls
  DarkKnightWalking

*Ancient door squeals open, foosteps echo in the silence*
Man, this place got dusty in here while I was away....
*makes list*
Ok, will need some cleaning wenches...
A bustodian...
Few suckataries....
K, got it.

DAMN, camera crews here already for my new TV spot ad....shitshit...
*Cleans up a bit*

OK, set up over here....we ready? Action....

Hey folks, you may remember me from awhile back.....I'm DarkKnight and I represent Troll Killers, Inc. Due to some tax issues, we had to close shop for a bit, but nowww...weeeere baaaack, and better than ever. All new troll killin equipment, a new line of even more tortuous confinement pens and handy dandy new stun guns, all set for 400 Gigavolts, for all your troll dancin pleasure.

*Queue "Bad to the Bone Music,as Dk strolls around the camera in his leather finery*

You know, people ask me all the time.."DK, how does one get to be such a efficient Troll Killer? Well, just for you all today, I am going to tell the secret to everyone, but just this once, so pay attention.

*Queue He-Man music*

THE-MAN!
And the Masters of the Perviverse.

I am DarkKnight, Duke of Debauchery, defender of the secrets of Castle Pervia.
This is Canu, my fearless friend.

Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic
cock and said:
"By the power of Skullfuck!"

THE-MAN!

"I have the power!"

Canu became the mighty Battle Cock.
And I became THE-Man, the most powerful man in the Perviverse.

Only three others share this secret.
Our friends the Suckeress, Y-Man at Arms and Borty.

Together we defend Castle Pervia from the evil forces of Skumbaggz.

THE-MAN!

*Music Fades*

So now you know. Just don't tell anyone.

But I digress. My main message is to the Trolls themselves, at least the ones that are smart enough to turn on this here TV. I'm back, and alla my friends are too. Slip up, tear up, fuck up...better shut up. We will be watching for you and chase you to the ends of Pervia if need be. Shove off.
*Cut to promo*

Yes friends, if you act now, for only $19.95, you can have our latest invention called the lil killer in your own home. It acts at a high pitched sound tuned only for troll ears. Completely sanctioned by the Humane Society ( after a sizable donation ) It works silently in your home to keep those slimy fuckers far away. Let's turn down the pitch so you can see how it works:[I]
"LEW-zer......NO diiiick.....LEW-zer......NO diiick..."
You can clearly see just how effective this works on those little bastards. Act now and we will throw in a purse size can of "Troll PIZZOFF!!" Keep it in your purse or car for those emergency situations. Call now, operators are standing by...[/I]

Well folks, we're just about outta time. Troll problems? Just give us a call, we have 24 hr service. 1-800-FUK-TROLZ. Remember that number, 1-800-FUK-TROLZ. Anytime you need a hand, it's 1-800-FUK-TROLZ.

*Cue Music*
Trollin' Trollin' Trollin'

Keep em movin', movin', movin',
Though they're disapprovin',
Keep them Trollies movin' Trollhide!
Don't try to understand 'em,
Just rope and throw and grab 'em,
Soon we'll be posting high and wide.
Boy my heart's calculatin'
Happy blogs will be waitin', be waiting at the end of my ride.

Move 'em on, head 'em up,
Head 'em up, move 'em out,
Move 'em on, head 'em out Trollhide!
Set 'em out, ride 'em in
Ride 'em in, let 'em out,
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in Trollhide.

Trollin', Trollin', Trollin'
Trollhide!

Trollin', Trollin', Trollin'
Though the blogs are swollen
Keep them Trollies rollin'
Trollhide!
Thru rain and wind and weather
Lash em with my leather
Wishin' a gal was by my side.
All the blogs I'm missin',
Good vittles, love, and kissin',
Are waiting at the end of my ride

CHORUS
Move 'em on, head 'em up
Head 'em up, move 'em on
Move 'em on, head 'em up
Trollhide
Count 'em out, ride 'em in,
Ride 'em in, count 'em out,
Count 'em out, ride 'em in
Trollhide!

Keep movin', movin', movin'
Though they're disapprovin'
Keep them trollies movin'
Trollhide!
Don't try to understand 'em
Just rope, throw, and brand 'em
Soon we'll be posting high and wide.
My hearts calculatin'
Happy blogs will be waitin',
Be waitin' at the end of my ride.

Trollhide!
Trollhide!

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by DarkKnightWalking:
XDCFX...you BASTARD!!!
With eager anticipations high around here....I present....
So, is the story contest over?
Advice for those One liner wannafuck bloggers...
NEEEEEIGH!!!!
*Hammer, hammer, saw,saw,nail,nail...*
First Presentation for the Story Contest...
OK, stop kickin me, Ladies....
Will Horsematch ever get Fucked?
Well Dammit...
Because Ice Cream has no Bones.....
What is a troll....
Troll Killers, Inc. Grand Re-Opening!!!
A day in the Office for a DK....
Inky blackness permeates the night...
Awww...I got me a new admirer....
And now, a message from Troll Killers, Inc.......
My own personal chain letter....
New and Improved Troll Killer Blog.
nothing to see here...move along...
A few thoughts about mah weiner..
OK ladies, stop askin me to see my weiner....
Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury....
How to speak Troll...
For the Ladies and their "Wannafuck" admirers....


Comments:

post a comment!

canuhelpme258

Feb 12 @ 3:14AM  
Oh and they say "I ain't right"?
Looking4ever

Feb 12 @ 6:49AM  
Canu became the mighty Battle Cock.
And I became THE-Man, the most powerful man in the Perviverse.

Only three others share this secret.
Our friends the Suckeress, Y-Man at Arms and Borty.

Apparentlu, Canu, there are 5 of you that 'ain't right'.
Looking4ever

Feb 12 @ 6:50AM  
Apparently
SxzeNewMe

Feb 12 @ 7:24AM  
Did someone say "skullfuck"???
whisperingcomet

Feb 12 @ 8:12AM  
Ahhh, and just when we needed a hero....thank you kind sir
Sunshine79

Feb 12 @ 8:52AM  
"LEW-zer......NO diiiick.....LEW-zer......NO diiick..."

OMG...... ........ ........ ......... .......... ...........
gwenafar

Feb 12 @ 9:02AM  
Nice to know someone is looking out for us on here

I ordered 2 thank you THE-MAN
borty293

Feb 12 @ 9:40AM  
Just turned on my Troll Detector...a hunting we will go....
ThePurpleProphet

Feb 12 @ 9:54AM  
Com'n now everyone knows that trolls hearing is the same as cats. Now anyone who plugs in your machine and has a cat will be filing a law suit. That's why I have flaming katanas. No troll can stand up to one of these. And I have a purple loin cloth. Serves no purpose but I like them. By the way do you offer a free trial period on one of them machines. Just in case I run into a horde. Also is there a portable model for dungeon dwellers.
DarkDesires99

Feb 12 @ 10:29AM  
Armed with his mighty sword and powerful whip he goes forth to do battle for the righteous. With prose sharper than his blade and more stinging than his whip all Trolls are hereby warned to flee or face his wrath.
To Lord Dark Knight Walking and his fellow warriors I will enjoy the upcoming carnage.
Ewe_Wish

Feb 12 @ 10:40AM  
Ummmmmmmm I want to be a sucksatary...........
casuallylooking

Feb 12 @ 11:35AM  
Oh and they say "I ain't right"?
Well yea...but they didn't say you were the "only" one on that list....


Nice to see you back, DK.
NachoBaby

Feb 12 @ 11:45AM  
I lubs you DK... but I gotta know.. who, pray tell... is the Suckeress?
swyeter

Feb 12 @ 2:19PM  
Ahhh Sir Knight, not that I think you will need it but should you require assistance I will gladly add my blade to the crusade.
canuhelpme258

Feb 12 @ 2:26PM  
As the official talk radio host (among other self appointed titles) I don't make the news I just report it!
ladybootscooter

Feb 12 @ 3:17PM  
Does this mean I should drag my spurs out of storage?????
BlueEyes708

Feb 12 @ 4:37PM  
Most excellent Sir DK. I will soon call on you sword when I have need

Lady Blue
DarkKnightWalking

Feb 12 @ 4:42PM  
5 of you that 'ain't right'.


Never said I was....*Sly Wink*

Did someone say "skullfuck"???

*Jim Stafford Voice* Yesss.....I did....*Leer*

I ordered 2 thank you THE-MAN


Thank you for your support I'll get Borty right on that.

Com'n now everyone knows that trolls hearing is the same as cats. Now anyone who plugs in your machine and has a cat will be filing a law suit. That's why I have flaming katanas. No troll can stand up to one of these. And I have a purple loin cloth. Serves no purpose but I like them. By the way do you offer a free trial period on one of them machines. Just in case I run into a horde. Also is there a portable model for dungeon dwellers.

All design data questions must be submitted in triplicate to Professor Borty, Research and Development, C/O Troll Killers, Inc.

And any cats who manage to figure out how to hold a pen, type or dial a phone are welcome to submit a complaint or lawsuit. However, we at TK Inc. are fairly confident from our data that cats don't listen for shit anyway. If you happen to run into a "Horde," please message Nytestryker on the Bronzebeard Server, Warcraft Online. I am sure I can help you there also. Flaming katanas work well, we are interested in people with skills such as that, you are encouraged to submit either a resume, or barring that, a bag of troll heads works just fine. Send it to:
Troll Killers, Inc.
1232 Fuku Ave.
Hell, USA
69696

To Lord Dark Knight Walking and his fellow warriors I will enjoy the upcoming carnage.

OK, you're in charge of the popcorn and drinks

Ummmmmmmm I want to be a sucksatary...........

Please call our private employee line at 1-800-SWA-LOWE
One of our efficient staff will be more than happy to try you out...err, I mean give you an interview. Skills needed are: Dicktation, Excellent Oral Communication, Working well UNder management, and phone sex...err,skills. Call today!

but I gotta know.. who, pray tell... is the Suckeress?

Had someone in mind...you applyin for the position?

I will gladly add my blade to the crusade.

And a welcome blade it be, Milord

As the official talk radio host (among other self appointed titles) I don't make the news I just report it!

And you're a legend in your own mind.....(same as me )

Does this mean I should drag my spurs out of storage?????

Ride em in, TrollHIDE!!!

Still have plenty of openings available, call for your personal private interview today!!
DarkKnightWalking

Feb 12 @ 4:44PM  
I will soon call on your sword when I have need

Satisfaction guaranteed, milady......
DarkDesires99

Feb 12 @ 4:59PM  
OK, you're in charge of the popcorn and drinks
Ok popcorn and tankards of Honey Mead all around!
NachoBaby

Feb 12 @ 5:40PM  
*assumes the 'interview' position*
DarkKnightWalking

Feb 12 @ 5:50PM  
*assumes the 'interview' position*

*NibbletynibbletygnawGNAWBITEYBITEY!!!*


Ok, you're hired....
ThePurpleProphet

Feb 12 @ 6:06PM  
I actually have a troll-head bag right here - is 11 enough. I have a little itsy-bitsy problem. I can't ride a horse. The good news is that my purple loin cloth is magical and allows me to run at the same speed of a horse.
DarkKnightWalking

Feb 12 @ 6:46PM  
Walk, ride...doesn't matter. Just dont forget to stop by supply and pick up your rocket powered Troll stompin boots. You start Monday.
NachoBaby

Feb 12 @ 8:51PM  
Now the question remains.. what is the title? Fluffer?
DarkKnightWalking

Feb 13 @ 1:05AM  
Naw, had you in mind for the Suckeress position....

(hey, I dont have any friends on here with nicks even close to Sorceress, sue me Canu and Borty just kinda fit, rofl... )
canuhelpme258

Feb 13 @ 3:01AM  
I always "fit" sometimes the "fit" is tighter than others and takes more work

Just saying
ynot7769

Feb 13 @ 6:41AM  


*drops the top for easy entrance n shoots thru picking up the troll slaying team*

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB01
Troll Killers, Inc. Grand Re-Opening!!!