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THE REASON I DIDN'T ENTER THE BUTT CONTEST

posted 2/9/2008 8:44:50 AM |
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  scotsavant

Flat out, I don’t have a butt! Straight down from the back. Can’t hold up my jeans unless I pull the old belt a couple of notches tighter or wear suspenders and look like a farmer john. Think I’ll take up sewing and see if I can create a couple of butt shaped pillows that I can slip in and at least look like I have one. My problem is that I can’t think of a way to hold them in place short of double-stick tape. OK, so now I have another problem…a flat and hairy butt. That tape thingie isn’t gonna work without some pain. Real quandary here! Any suggestions???

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Comments:

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gwenafar

Feb 9 @ 8:50AM  
hairy? well, waxing would help. flat? I would prefer a guy with a flat ass, than a big ass. guys with big asses, well, all I can say is,...not for this girl right here.
Ewe_Wish

Feb 9 @ 8:51AM  
well since its going to be a permanent solution i suggest waxing the hair off your ass and using bondable velcro............

Are you the type my daddy use to say...........its a good thing he has wide shoulders..........otherwise he would fall thru his ass and strangle himself?
Ashinatrix

Feb 9 @ 8:58AM  
a flat and hairy butt
We already have one of those here
ladybootscooter

Feb 9 @ 9:50AM  
My son has that too! It's a disease ya know.........Noassatall!!! He struggles to find jeans that will stay up (he hates a belt! and refuses suspenders) and make him look like he has an ass!!! He's a big boy @ 6'2", 224# and that seems to make it worse!!
shy_sexy_kitten

Feb 9 @ 10:35AM  
Well, I know guys that look like they have no ass in jeans..

but when naked... OMG... just the sweetest ass to hold in my hands..

especially when doing missionary .

you could always check out exercise specifically designed for the ass...
figure skater/ hockey players... have amazing asses because of the way
the muscles are used.

DarkDesires99

Feb 9 @ 10:37AM  
If you are serious about this they do sell underwear with pads in them to make for a nice shape in the ass.
Sort of like a padded bra is only for the butt….
But just like a padded bra it would be false advertising!
surfin4fun

Feb 10 @ 2:08AM  
Scott, I can appreciate the problem, but I won't go into any details. Do they make a Butt Prothesis?
Ewe_Wish

Feb 10 @ 2:57PM  
Do they make a Butt Prothesis?
Check with Professional Borty.............
Ewe_Wish

Feb 10 @ 2:58PM  
Professional
Can we say Professor Borty..............

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THE REASON I DIDN'T ENTER THE BUTT CONTEST