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Your Having Fun Aren't You

posted 2/4/2008 3:15:05 AM |
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I remember when I was a kid..I used to pull the legs off bugs and light them on fire. After a few years of that I began to feel bad about doing that and stopped. Since then I have never hurt anything intentionally again. Call it empathy or just doesn' sit well in my guts.
Unfortunately I have had the misfortune to run into adults who still pull the legs off bugs but they are far more subtle about their dirty deeds. They take great pleasure in finding a weakness and exploit it for all its worth. They gloat and chuckle over their victims, manipulating them for their own enjoyment and carelessly abandon them, when the joy of watching them suffer subsides.

Over the past few months I have witnessed someone take great pleasure in targeting people on this site. After all...if he didn't enjoy hurting people, he would have left long ago. He would have said to himself...these people aren't worth my valuable time and would have cancelled immediately, but he couldn't resist, sort of like shooting fish in a barrel or maybe pulling legs of bugs.

Unfortunalely for him day it will all backfire because there is always a limit to the amount of damage one can do in a lifetime. Eventually the chickens come home to roost and the game is up. But until then I have know doublt that he will have as much fun as he can ...doing what he does best ..finding vulnerabilies and exploiting them for his own pleasure.

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Blogs by borty293:
I Got Fucked
Strange Dream
Fuck My Cock
Face Fucked
Your Having Fun Aren't You
Panty Recall


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Feb 4 @ 3:17AM  
I gots an idea... give me by weeks end.... see if we can pull off a coup?

Feb 4 @ 3:18AM  
I O U kudos

Feb 4 @ 4:32AM  
I agree totally Borty. Here is a Kudo for saying it so well.

Feb 4 @ 4:41AM  

How does one person hold so much vengeance and contempt towards another human being, seemingly on purpose?
All I know is that I wouldn't want to be the one to feel that much hatred.....

Feb 4 @ 5:36AM  
well said.......

Feb 4 @ 5:59AM  
He just didn't know when it was time to stop.......others have done it too, but had enough sense to stop when it became apparent no one longer cared. I say let him spew his venom and ignore him, sooner or later he will figure out that no one longer cares about what he has to say. If we don't react he loses, when we do, he wins.

Feb 4 @ 6:57AM  
Unfortunately for him day it will all backfire because there is always a limit to the amount of damage one can do in a lifetime.

This has nothing to do with who you are speaking of but I sure wish this statement were true. And if it's true, I wish the damage load were a lot smaller then. There is one person in my life who seemingly can not cause me enough pain & grief to suit him. And, honestly, I don't know that I am able to take much more of it. One human can only take so much before something happens.

Feb 4 @ 8:23AM  
L4E...I think I know who you're talking about, and he'll continue to try and run your life as much as he can til you decide you've had enough. I know it's hard and your situation is a little delicate because you're not the only person involved. Maybe one day he'll decide that making your life miserable just isn't fun anymore.

Borty - this "person" and I use that term loosely, seems to thrive on chaos. He wants to get his point across, but isn't going about it in the right way and isn't exactly making friends and inflouencing(sp) people in the process. I don't think he's going to just go away, as much as some of us would like that to happen. I do think he has a few legit points about how some people are treated by a select few. Sorry, got on my little soap-box there for a second.

I'm not sure what can be done to solve this problem, but if anyone has any ideas please let me know.

Feb 4 @ 8:39AM  
I have found that ignoring these people does wonders. They enjoy the attention they get, whether positive or negative. They revel in the "rise" they give us. Sometimes pretending they don't exist makes them feel as if they don't. Then they may give up.

Feb 4 @ 10:01AM  
How does one person hold so much vengeance and contempt towards another human being, seemingly on purpose?
Especially someone you haven't even been married to!! Now that kind of hatred for a human being I could relate to. But Borty why does anyone do this? Come on a supposed sex site and attack, repeatedly, over and over again? They get cancelled and they just keep coming back with a new profile but same old agenda. Hatred and hurt for those they feel have "wronged" them. This is not the first time we've seen someone do this, you and I know of at least two others that seem to have made it their mission in life to intimidate and instill fear and loathing into the community here. Some of the more innocous you might be able to ignore and have them just dry up and go away, but to at least a couple that comes across as fear and they feed from that fear becoming far more repulsive and aggressive with each episode. Will they self destruct from these minor meltdowns? We can always hope.

Feb 4 @ 10:02AM  
The text in italics IS based on "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited", fourth, revised, printing (2003)

An all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts. Five (or more) of the following criteria must be met:


Feels grandiose and self-important (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)


Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion


Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions)


Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation - or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply)


Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special and favorable priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations


Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends


Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others


Constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the same about him or her


Arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes coupled with rage when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted


Some of the language in the criteria above is based on or summarized from:

American Psychiatric Association. (2000). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, fourth edition, Text Revision (DSM IV-TR). Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association.

The text in italics is based on:

Sam Vaknin. (2003). Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited, fourth, revised, printing. Prague and Skopje: Narcissus Publication.

For the exact language of the DSM IV criteria - please refer to the manual itself !!!

How to Avoid the Wrath of the Narcissist


Never disagree with the narcissist or contradict him


Never offer him any intimacy


Look awed by whatever attribute matters to him (for instance: by his professional achievements or by his good looks, or by his success with women and so on)


Never remind him of life out there and if you do, connect it somehow to his sense of grandiosity


Do not make any comment, which might directly or indirectly impinge on his self-image, omnipotence, judgment, omniscience, skills, capabilities, professional record, or even omnipresence. Bad sentences start with: "I think you overlooked ... made a mistake here ... you don't know ... do you know ... you were not here yesterday so ... you cannot ... you should ... (perceived as rude imposition, narcissists react very badly to restrictions placed on their freedom) ... I (never mention the fact that you are a separate, independent entity, narcissists regard others as extensions of their selves, their internalization processes were screwed up and they did not differentiate properly) ..." You get the gist of it.

How to Make your Narcissist Dependent on You
If you INSIST on Staying with Him


Listen attentively to everything the narcissist says and agree with it all. Don't believe a word of it but let it slide as if everything is just fine, business as usual.


Personally offer something absolutely unique to the narcissist which they cannot obtain anywhere else. Also be prepared to line up future sources of primary NS for your narcissist because you will not be IT for very long, if at all. If you take over the procuring function for the narcissist, they become that much more dependent on you which makes it a bit tougher for them to pull their haughty stuff - an inevitability, in any case.


Be endlessly patient and go way out of your way to be accommodating, thus keeping the narcissistic supply flowing liberally, and keeping the peace (relatively speaking).


Be endlessly giving. This one may not be attractive to you, but it is a take it or leave it proposition.


Be absolutely emotionally and financially independent of the narcissist. Take what you need: the excitement and engulfment and refuse to get upset or hurt when the narcissist does or says something dumb, rude, or insensitive. Yelling back works really well but should be reserved for special occasions when you fear your narcissist may be on the verge of leaving you; the silent treatment is better as an ordinary response, but it must be carried out without any emotional content, more with the air of boredom and "I'll talk to you later, when I am good and ready, and when you are behaving in a more reasonable fashion".


If your narcissist is cerebral and NOT interested in having much sex - then give yourself ample permission to have "hidden" sex with other people. Your cerebral narcissist will not be indifferent to infidelity so discretion and secrecy is of paramount importance.


If your narcissist is somatic and you don't mind, join in on endlessly interesting group sex encounters but make sure that you choose properly for your narcissist. They are heedless and very undiscriminating in respect of sexual partners and that can get very problematic (STDs and blackmail come to mind).


If you are a "fixer", then focus on fixing situations, preferably before they become "situations". Don't for one moment delude yourself that you can FIX the narcissist - it simply will not happen. Not because they are being stubborn - they just simply can't be fixed.


If there is any fixing that can be done, it is to help your narcissist become aware of their condition, and this is VERY IMPORTANT, with no negative implications or accusations in the process at all. It is like living with a physically handicapped person and being able to discuss, calmly, unemotionally, w

Feb 4 @ 1:39PM  
You make me glad to call you my friend, and I am honored you call me yours.

Feb 4 @ 9:21PM  
My suggestion is simple...I totally agree with Gwen..ignore it.

Ignore him...don't read his blogs...don't look at them...and don't write "response" encourages him to keep on acting like an ass. The more attention he gets..even if all we do is read...the more he will keep posting.

And a green thing-a-ma-jiggy for ya.

psssssssst!! Don't tell DeDe though!

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Your Having Fun Aren't You