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God I love being a cripple

posted 2/3/2008 4:45:31 PM |
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For those who think otherwise, being a cripple is fucking awesome. I'm not sure if I qualify as a full fledged cripple, but I do have to walk with a cane and have one of those spiffy handicap parking things. I'm going to list five reasons why being a disabled combat vet rocks.

1. I get to park where I want. It was worth getting nerve damage to my leg for that alone.

2. If your in a crowded bar, you can move people out of your way by just nudging them aside with your cane. People don't even question this.

3. I always have cool stories to tell in bars about how I was wounded. I'm an ice-breaking bastard.

4.I can say whatever I want about Bush and get away with it. Damn it, I earned it.

5.I at least deserve a pity fuck. Support our troops! Flash a soldier!

In closing, I've proved one thing with this post. There's nothing so serious that a joke can't be made.

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God I love being a cripple


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Feb 3 @ 5:02PM  
You nutty man you!!!.....Bushes are great, although I don't have one. I do park wherever I want because I'm a female and I drive on sidewalks, and if I could, I'd flash ya!!

Feb 3 @ 5:33PM  
And the ignoble award goes to...

For world peace. You do have a point and manage to be one of the few americans allowed to openly say it- just don't go on fox news.

They would eat you alive- for darring to both insult the president and be chipper when talking about your injury.

They would accuse you of being a morphine addict and a closet homosexual.

Oh well, lets go watch 500 pound men slap each others butts- between doggy piles, and handing each other objects between theyre legs.

Feb 3 @ 5:33PM  
There's nothing so serious that a joke can't be made.
My feelings exactly....good blog my friend


Feb 3 @ 5:44PM  
gotta love the attitude!!!!

Feb 3 @ 6:04PM  
You don't have to "Thump" me with your cane Bro ... you'll always have a place at my table, over here bye the fire. Here, take my chair, Ill rustle up another, and the first round is on me.


Feb 3 @ 6:11PM  
I really like your attitude!!

Feb 3 @ 6:20PM  
Hey you forgot you get to use those really cool scooter-carts in Walmart!!! Damn fine blog! Shiny green thingy to ya

Feb 3 @ 10:34PM  
I'm with Gry.. I'll buy the next round.

Feb 4 @ 11:33AM  
Kudos, my friend....THAT is also known as "Dealing with it"......

Feb 9 @ 12:46AM  
Hey you forgot you get to use those really cool scooter-carts in Walmart!!!
Truuue.I'd just run down little kids and run into the back of people's legs with them...not that I actually do

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God I love being a cripple