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posted 2/1/2008 6:36:18 AM |
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  borty293

Do we truly accept ourselves or are we looking for acceptance from others and therefore define our personalities through their eyes?
There was a time in my life that what others thought of me was the very definition of what I thought of myself and believe me that can become very confusing. Somewhere along the way I began to realize what I thought of myself was more important than what you thought of me. In fact my very survival depended on accepting my good points and trying to change my negative thinking to positive action. It's not easy for me to do that, I would rather shift the focus to you and thereby relinquish my responsibility. That has been my pattern for most of my life and it hasn't worked. Once I began taking responsibility for my actions, it was if a fog had been lifted and I began to see myself for the first time. I don't always like what I see but now at least I have the opportunity to change the things I can. Its not going to happen over night, I've found it to be a gradual change, but a change non the less. I'm not sure this is the forum to discuss these matters but I have found some friends here that understand the importance of self apprasial so I thought it benefical to take a chance and express myself.

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Comments:

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sundance64

Feb 1 @ 6:41AM  
Huh...you really do get it, don't you?

**To thine own self, be true**

Ewe_Wish

Feb 1 @ 7:29AM  
God, Borty..........you just reminded me of something.........Thank You. The talks you and I have had on this subject and so many others........I have learned a lot from you and usually end up saying eh? alot after phone calls with you.....

I did that for so long.........was everything to everyone and tried to fit a mold that I thought people would like. I thought the only way people would like me was if I was the way they wanted me to be. And that is such a superficial like/love because they only knew the person I presented myself to them to be. Once I learned to love myself, get honest with who I am and what I want, to make amends to those I hurt, and started taking personal accountability for my actions, is when i started allowing people to see the real me. I am still not perfect, not even close, but each day I strive to be a better person than i was yesterday.........progress not perfection, eh? Borty.

Thanks Sweetie..........this is truly a wonderful blog and reminder.
Looking4ever

Feb 1 @ 7:29AM  
It's important to accept yourself and to make the changes for you. But, I have also found out, no matter what you tell yourself, without outside confirmation, it's nothing. Many people live under a delusional cloud of what and who they are. The people around them are a meter of how truthful they are to themselves.
ThePurpleProphet

Feb 1 @ 8:36AM  
There are some things about ourselves that need an outside perspective lest our egos will get in the way. I'm sure a close friend or significant other has told you something about you that until you thought about it you didn't realize you did or acted in a certain way. Self analysis is a must to understand who we are...the old cliche look at yourself in a mirror. If you can do this for 30 minutes you'll learn something about yourself. As intelligent as you appear to be I'm sure you'll make the right changes. So professor Borty has a serious side.
gwenafar

Feb 1 @ 9:32AM  
Growing up, it was important to me to get that validation from my peers. As I have gotten older I have slowly come to the realization that I had to look inward and see who I was. For so long I was who I "thought" I was. I have come to see me, with my many flaws, and to accept them or change them. We all feel the need to be validated by others. If we didn't I think we would all be a bunch of assholes who didn't care about anything.
lifeizabitch

Feb 1 @ 10:00AM  
God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can not change;the courage to change the things I can;and the wisdom to know the difference.by: Rienhold Niebuhr.
shellsmack

Feb 1 @ 10:07AM  
So true and so hard to do. DAMN I HATE MYSELF.




(now where's that stupid crying emoticon?)
Lisa46

Feb 1 @ 10:17AM  
I really love myself but the agravation of being me sometimes is to much
NachoBaby

Feb 1 @ 11:05AM  
Bravo Proff Borty! I wish everyone would love themselves..

I think I might go do that today... it's been too long.
Dominus

Feb 1 @ 1:33PM  
Self-love, my liege, is not so vile
a sin as self-neglecting.

-The Dauphin addressing the King of France,
Henry V screenplay by Kenneth Brannaugh
Giggl_Sprite

Feb 1 @ 3:42PM  
As usual Borty, you're fantastic! A kudo & a kiss for you!
Giggl_Sprite

Feb 1 @ 3:43PM  
As usual Borty, you're fantastic! A kudo & a kiss for you!
canuhelpme258

Feb 1 @ 6:57PM  
I used to go through life the same way I approached music, I played to my strengths and ignored my weaknesses...

I got a real new age kick towards music where I tried to improve my weaknesses I haven't been able to work it into my whole life but I try..

Great blog my friend!
dridge

Feb 1 @ 7:00PM  
Hell I guess I have to love me, otherwise who will?

Peace,

Don
StraddleMyNose

Feb 2 @ 5:12AM  
I totally agree with what you said. The greatest love is yourself, just like that Whitney Houston's song is about back in 1986. What matters is YOU and the fact that you're true to yourself!
31sunshine

Feb 2 @ 5:35AM  
My self esteem used to completely be based on what others thought of me. So much so that I stopped taking control of my life, stopped being accountable to myself and I didn't like the person I saw.

So I changed my life. Now, like you, there are things I see that I don't like very well. I work on changing what I can't tolerate and accept what I can't change. And forgive myself for not being perfect. I live up to what I think my perfect self is and I think the key is that I am happy with who I am as a person. I don't think there is a better gift I can give myself than that.

Wonderful blog Borty!!
ladybootscooter

Feb 2 @ 9:53AM  
My wise mother taught me many years ago, "how can you expect someone else to love you if you don't love yourself"

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