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How Many Times to Forgive

posted 1/20/2008 7:55:33 PM |
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tagged: love, cheating, lying

How many times should one forgive a lying lover?
I was so open to her for an open relationship, swinging, whatever it took to keep honesty in the relationship. She always replied " i don't want to share you." She still cheated and lied about it even after I had solid proof. She dragged me through the mud in denial about it and I eventually while I was away told her to leave. I have taken her and her 2 children back into my home 3 times and the only requisite is be honest, that I can handle.
well I'm back here again and I had to end it xmas eve due to more bullshit..I do love this woman but how many times does one endure a sexless(she was getting it though), lying, cheating, relationship? Anybody on this one

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Jan 20 @ 8:02PM  
if she has done it once, she will do it again.....

Jan 20 @ 8:03PM  
I'm sorry whitecat I have given men a second chance and if they still do what caused the breakup in the first place it is bye bye. You have been very gracious in giving it 3 times move on my friend find a honest woman who will love you for yourself!

Jan 20 @ 8:03PM  
three times shows she's not gonna change. I wouldn't take her back again. just my .02 here.

Jan 20 @ 8:05PM  
Only as often as you are willing to put up with it I guess.

Jan 20 @ 8:24PM  
The answer in my book is that once is too many. Once a cheater always a cheater. Move on, this relationship is not healthy for you. You will find someone who will appreciate you and treat you like you deserve to be treated.

Jan 20 @ 8:27PM  
I took back my boyfriend at the time after he cheated on me when our child was just 3 months old and he got the heffer pregnant. BIGGEST MISTAKE I EVER MADE. Dont forgive her, she knows how to play you and she will keep doing it to you. Move on sweetie. It's the best thing you can do for yourself. Good luck

Jan 20 @ 8:47PM  

Jan 20 @ 8:49PM  
This may sound blunt but my opinion is.....


If someone cheats once, they'll do it again. Why set yourself up for more heartache? Go out and find someone worthy of your love and affection.


Jan 20 @ 8:56PM  
I forgave my ex husband four times...probably 3 times too many. Maybe even 4 times too many...

Jan 20 @ 8:57PM  
i think you already know your answer, it will just take some time to heal from it. Good luck!

Jan 20 @ 9:05PM  
well... let's see ~ how's that go....

Fool me once shame on you,
Fool me twice shame on me.

Pretty cut and dried ... I feel for her children being jerked around too ~ not what a good mother would do

Jan 20 @ 9:06PM  
How many times...

until you decide you can't take anymore..

Have you ever considered that she is mentally ill? needs counselling?

and if she won't go... you need to go for yourself?

and if you can't afford that.... there are lots of books that can be read..
and again if you can't afford to purchase the book, you can read it at the store.

Good luck....


Jan 20 @ 9:08PM  
Even if you Dumb and in love an take her back the first time. She should be out of your life the second time. unless one or more of the kids are yours. even then your relationship should be to pass the kids off and report to each other how the kids day went. Don't take her back again

Jan 20 @ 9:08PM  
I was in a marriage that was abusive not only verbally but psychically also..He cheated, he lied, he beat me...He would leave me and be with other females for months at a time untill I broke them up or I got a boyfriend.,.Then he would come crawling back..It isn't worth it..I put up with his shit for years..To many really..I'm alot happier now to be out of that..You have to put your foot down and say " no more " or you will keep letting her do it..Enough is enough...You need to seriously stop it now while you can..If you let it go longer you won't be able to get out as easy..If there is love involved it gets harder...

The pain you suffer from a break up or from letting someone go that you care about or love is hard and painful but life goes on without them and the pain goes away...Yes it takes time but what is more important to you? You have to think about what you want, what would make you happy and what is best for you and your heart and feelings...You come first not her or her kids..Granted the kids don't ask for this but you can't be there all the time for the rest of thier lives unless you marry her and adopt the kids....They are innocent in this but you need to take care of you first not her and her kids...

My lousy 2 cents............

Jan 20 @ 9:31PM  
pardon my frankness but you're a fool for forgiving her at all in my not so humble opinion. of course i spell it out up front, lie to me once and they never get another chance to do it again, and to stay friends is out of the question.


Jan 20 @ 9:56PM  
I endured it until it finally dawned on me that I did not want the final 30 years of my adulthood to be like the first 30 --- it usually takes a catastrophic event for someone to really change --- losing me was not a catastrophe for him and he is still the same today -- 7 years later -- as he was then. So if this helps you figure it out, then I'm glad.

Jan 21 @ 4:52PM  
Some leopards can change their spots... other can not....

All women are crazee just find the level of insanity you can tolerate and stay there!

Jan 25 @ 8:33PM  
Fool me once... shame on you

Fool me twice.. shame on ME


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How Many Times to Forgive