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What women want (or profiles in profiling)

posted 1/20/2008 5:05:08 PM |
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tagged: canu
  aspiringwriter

I've been wrestling with this blog for a while. Currently, its pinned me twice so I need to make it submit before it beats me. That's gonna be especially tough with the football game distracting me, but here goes.
I need to edit my essays. They are currently the first things that came to my mind (more or less) when I signed up for this site. I hate writing about myself and I don't have much in the way of preconceptions about what I'm looking for, so it's been tough going so far. Anyway, this has gotten me thinking about profiles in general. Here are my thoughts:
A picture's worth a thousand words
Even if its not a picture of you, I think everybody needs a picture. I don't trust people who don't put pics up, seems like they have something to hide. Also, when I'm talking to them, in my own little world, thier picture is who they are,
I'm starting to develop a crush on that stick figure girl, with her cute ponytail. I've even thought about sending her a 'wanna fuck' e-mail, but it seems like she has a bunch of different profiles and is probably just here to fuck with people.
The interesting thing here, is that I find I most attracted to the people whose pictures are more artistic. The logical conclusion is that that would make this woman my ideal mate. Unfortunately, I'm fairly certain she's both taken and dead.
Words, words, words (Hamlet, Act 4, Scene 1) (I think its 4.1, could be wrong there, its the scene with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern talking to Hamlet)
I think about what people say they want and how to say what I want, and this makes me think about the futility of words. Intelligence seems to be an indefinable word. Nevermind how many different types of intelligence there are. I think I'm intelligent (I think many would agree) but I do stupid things all the time. And yet, daily I do stupid things. I'm not even gonna admit how long it took me to realize that the 'M' in the Adult Matchmaker is two people fuckin'. People frequently say they are looking for somebody with a sense of humor. Well, everybody has a sense of humor. (people also say things like 'like to laugh' (who doesn't) or witty, etc). I think I'm funny, others might not. I don't tell jokes, per se and my sense of humor runs towards the outrageous and/or offensive. It seems like alot of people want honesty and politeness. I kind of think these are mutually contradictory traits. Frequently, politeness is knowing when its a good idea to lie, atleast through omission.
Furthermore, all the examples I used are positive traits that most people look for in others. You might as well say you want somebody who is charismatic. What are you looking for that nobody else is? What (usually) negative traits do you like? What (again, usually) positive traits do you not like? This reminds me of another thing about intelligence. Many forms of intelligence become annoying at a point. This is probably true of most of these traits (I'll have to ponder that more).
A question about compassion. Compassion is a trait I've been known to show. I've been compassionate professionally and whatever I do, I do well. I don't actually like the fact that I'm compassionate though. I'm, frankly, a good person inspite of myself. So is a person compassionate because they act compassionately, even if they don't really care?
Let's get physical
"What about physical attraction", you say? What's that? You weren't saying it, oh well. My blog, I get to decide what the imaginary you said. So, you're wrong. You did say that.
For me, this is a tricky subject. I'm one of those people that doesn't have a 'type'. Alright, that's not entirely true. I do have 'types', a couple of them. Sometimes, I get all hot and bothered by a certain type, only to develop a thing for a different type. Variety is after all the spice of life. And I like my life spicy. Also, I'm attracted to people with distinct looks. As I said in my 'Facial hair' blog (a little shameless self-promotion never hurts), I think your look is one of the first chances you get for self-expression. What you look like says a lot about you and if you look like everybody else, my first impression is just that. You are like everybody else, and not worth my tme.
A somewhat random note here: when I see a redhead, my gaurd goes up. Red is natures way of warning of potential danger and the majority of redheads I know have only strengthened this irrational belief of mine.
Blogs and the blogging bloggers who blog them
Seems to me that the best way to get to know me, how I think, etc. Is really to read my blogs (read them over and over again, I like being on the most popular list). This has some problems with it. Namely, that it has to occur to me to blog about something for you (that's you specificly, fuck the general you I nver liked him much). Though now that I give it some more thought, I actually put as much of myself into my responses to other people's blogs, so maybe, if you really want to know me, you should stalk me across the other blogs as well. I also prefer people who have blogs up, themselves.
...continued in comments...

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Blogs by aspiringwriter:
AMD Lexicon ver. 1 (A-Tw)
If I were president
She Touched Me
Meta-blogging....
This Week on AMD (part 1)
an AMD week in review isn't in this blog
An attempt at an AMD Lexicon
Election Predictions
More Drama for You Part 2
Some more drama pt 3
You want some drama? I got your drama!
Sweet Jebus! I found it!
What women want (or profiles in profiling)
Balls and Blasphemy
how many veiws do the average blog get
Facial hair (is it as good for you as it is for me?)
Fuzzy math (or confessions of a wannabe attention whore)
Double Standards


Comments:

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aspiringwriter

Jan 20 @ 5:05PM  
Whether its erotica, a joke your spreading around the net like a virus, or you bitching about something in your life (though I like the philosophical blogs the best myself), blogging tells me the most about how you think.
I read a lot, and I'm reminded of the most generic advice all writer's get. 1) Read good examples of what you want to write about. 2) Read bad examples of what you want to write about. 3) Write!
My friend the mail man
I like recieving mail. It makes me feel special and wanted. I don't always respond immediately to mail however. Sometimes I'm logged in to my account but not actually at my computer. Otherwise, I don't have anything really to say and, as verbose as I am, I only speak when I feel I have something I want to say. It is annoying when people don't respond to their mail. I realize this. There's nothing worse than making a bold move to make a move on somebody, or pour your heart out, or whatever, and have them ignore you. But ce'st la vie. If I don't have something immediate to say, or if something doesn't seem to require my immediate attention, I'll let it sit there for a bit.
Wanna fuck?
So the number 1 complaint (by far) that women here seem to have are wanna fuck mails. I just wanna say a few things about this. Firstly, as to why men do this... It seems to men that sometimes, like if your profile is fairly generic and you don't have any blogs or posts, even decent guys are going to send you a wanna fuck or a wink. They just don't have anything to go off to initiate conversation. Another I've wanted to say about these, there are some guys, it stands to reason, who are getting off on sending you a wanna fuck e-mail. That's just the way it goes. Surprisingly there are some people on this site who are perverts. Finally, I think this is one of those differences between men and women. I know I've sent mails before just saying "I think you're hot", this is because I know I like to hear it, so I figure others would as well. Similarly, I wouldn't mind or get angry at somebody sending me a wanna fuck mail. I'd be flattered, just my 2 cents. And how many are women getting anyway? 1/day, 10/day, 100/day. Dammit, inquiring minds want to know.
I'm shy, really I am
Okay, it's not that I'm shy. I do have confidence and am willing to put myself out there. I also figure, if you don't like me, that's your fault not mine. But by the same token, I usually don't know how to initiate conversation. Especially if you are giving me nothing to go off. Once I get talking though (as this blog proves), I can talk freely and easily, and in great volume.
Comments? Thoughts? Complaints?
SxzeNewMe

Jan 20 @ 5:30PM  
I found out a long time ago that it doesn't matter what I have written in my profile - photos are what get the responses most of the time. As for pics, though I do require one before meeting, I don't for initial contact and "getting to know you" time...but once there's an attraction, yeah, I want to know who I'm talking to.
ooohbaby

Jan 20 @ 5:40PM  
I'm writing to take exception to your comment about redheads. Although my hair is auburn rather than titian in color, I do not consider myself potentially dangerous.
Lisa46

Jan 20 @ 5:49PM  
A somewhat random note here: when I see a redhead, my gaurd goes up. Red is natures way of warning of potential danger and the majority of redheads I know have only strengthened this irrational belief of mine.


ummm I'm really sweet and nice oh yeah "wanna fuck"???
aspiringwriter

Jan 20 @ 5:57PM  
for those of red hair... I did put some caviats in there. And its not always the red head in question whose the dangerous one. At least once, sometimes, its their family or somebody they're close to... still references to Titian make my heart go pitter-patter whether they're intentional or not. He's definately on my top 5 list of fine artists. (What makes them fine? Does that mean other artists are sloppy?)
SxzeNewMe

Jan 20 @ 6:01PM  
So...are you telling me if I post a pic of me in my red bustier you won't trust me???
DarkDesires99

Jan 20 @ 6:03PM  
Your writing on your own blogs and on other’s blogs or forums is usually very good, well written, intelligent and insightful. I don’t always agree but that’s what making things interesting. How boring would it be if we all agreed on everything?
Good blog and I really think you are funny in an interesting sort of dry way.
You crack me up.
Now you had to write some about Art didn’t you!!!
Well I’ll let that go for another time, fine, good, bad, hack and genius I could really go off on that!
aspiringwriter

Jan 20 @ 6:27PM  
Sxze, no, I'm sayin I'd think you were somewhat (artificially) dangerous... Then again, a little danger can be a good thing. Especially when you can remove the source of danger...
going with how I assume people are thier pic, one of the things I like about this site is how many nice chesticles around here talk... Even seen the occasional talking dick (though I've been lucky enough not to talk to dick that wasn't up front about being one).
Ewe_Wish

Jan 20 @ 7:00PM  
A somewhat random note here: when I see a redhead, my gaurd goes up. Red is natures way of warning of potential danger and the majority of redheads I know have only strengthened this irrational belief of mine.
Interesting...........and you will find a lot of men like redheaded women because they appreciate the unique skin tecture, the freckles whether alot or little, and their hotness in and out of the bed.................but to each their own...........I like being a redhead.........born that way..............and never regretted one moment of it.......but like other physical characterics..........if someone wants to judge me and not get to know me because i have red hair........my opinion is they really arent worth me knowing..............
aspiringwriter

Jan 20 @ 8:03PM  
I've been tempted to remove this offending line, but that wouldn't be fair (to the people who have commented). For the record, of all the lines here, it's probably the only one I won't defend. I mostly put it there because it breaks up an other wise dry section. Didn't mean to offend anybody. Just sayin. It's always interesting to see what gets comments and what doesn't. Red hair doesn't mean I would write the person off. To whom it offends, my apologies
sundance64

Jan 21 @ 12:12AM  
Heyheyhey!!! I'm a redhead too! In fact...I'm THE redhead! Or as Billy says..."Dat crazy redhead!"

No offense taken...leave the words up there! It's your blog, write what you want. Just don't look to be fuckin' any redheads anytime soon!
canuhelpme258

Jan 21 @ 3:59PM  
when I see a redhead, my gaurd goes up. Red is natures way of warning of potential danger and the majority of redheads I know have only strengthened this irrational belief of mine
plus this

'm THE redhead! Or as Billy says..."Dat crazy redhead!
equals my comment

When I see that redhead or Dat Crazee red head....
It ain't my guard that goes up!
kattoes

Aug 5 @ 3:55PM  
Well for this redhead... it is just a little artificial intelligence!!
To ad variation and stripes to an otherwise mostly blonde existence.

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What women want (or profiles in profiling)