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Spreading My Legs and Spewing Goo!!!

posted 1/17/2008 8:10:10 PM |
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tagged: rant
  hopon

Dear Gentlemen, (If you can be called that)

I have set out to find a way to let you know that I am made up of more than being a rotating cum receptacle.

As many women (including myself) have done in the past we have posted blogs, have bitched and complained, and have even sent you back nasty (but not in the good way) emails to let you know that we have criteria that need to be met before we will jump into bed with you.

I do realize that my slutty profile cums across as "cum bang me now", or "I will let any ass put their dick in me".......BUT that doesn't necessarily mean YOU!!!

Because I know that the majority of you cannot read anything longer than a sentence or two, I will cut right to the chase...........

Number 1: Do NOT contact me if you are just traveling through, and think that I am going to sneak on over to your hotel and hop on pop!

Number 2: Referring to Number 1...... I may be many miles from where you think I really am, as I am not stupid enough to post my real zip code.... ya know... so that when my perverted boss comes on here to jack off before he goes to bed, he isn't doing it to MY picture.

Number 3: I DO have criteria that needs to be met, before I jump into bed with anybody!! For example.... if you can't read this and figure out where to fuck I am coming from..... DON'T BOTHER TO CONTACT ME!!!!

Number 4: Continued from number 3..... oh yes.... more criteria.... you need to be able to talk intelligently (just because I can be a slut in the bedroom doesn't mean that I will fuck anything with two legs and a zipper), you need to be clean, AND you need to meet the criteria of my husband too, because buddy..... YES!!!!!..... he will be there to watch when you fuck me!

Well..... now that I have written a letter longer than the directions on a soup can, and I have "lost" you, I will close.

Bottom line is this DON'T EXPECT THAT JUST BECAUSE I AM A BLONDE SLUT, THAT I AM NECESSARILY GOING TO SPREAD MY LEGS FOR YOU!

Kisses, Hopon

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by hopon:
Are Handjobs a Thing of the Past???
Dirty Showers, Cole Slaw, and Pine Pitch!
Medical Insurance Fucks Me Again!!
The Upsides of Being Sick
A Guide To Picking Up MILFS!!
A Nocturnal World!
Communication, Sex, Or.....
If I Was In Charge Of The World!! (Game)
Would You?????
Name for Boobies!
Hot, Steamy, and WETT!!!! (Part 2)
Hot, Steamy, and WETTT!!!!! (Part 1)
Spreading My Legs and Spewing Goo!!!
For Canu!!!!
Got Fears???
Richard Craniums!!!!
The Patriots!
New Year Resolutions!!!!!!!!
Regular Blogger Goes MIA
Men's Damn Names...
Life's Regrets
School Girl Meets the Lawn Man
A Drug Assignment!
Sex in 24 hours!
His Woo Woo


Comments:

post a comment!

MonkeyWoman30

Jan 17 @ 8:15PM  
Um... you GO GIRL!

Here's a worthless green thingy
DeviousFem24

Jan 17 @ 8:19PM  
Hopon, my thoughts exactly.Have another greeny.
Wordsofwit

Jan 17 @ 8:22PM  
"As many women (including myself) have done in the past we have posted blogs, have bitched and complained, and have even sent you back nasty (but not in the good way) emails to let you know that we have criteria that need to be met before we will jump into bed with you."

Respectfully, I understand your justified points and frustrations. That being said, having been here for a while and experienced what you have, why the fuck bother posting a blog on it? It doesn't do any good or serve any purpose.

Isn't posting a blog like this about as effective as posting one asking flies not to disturb your barbecue? Like these kind of guys really read blog posts or care? Perhaps you are preaching to the choir?
sugarnspice005

Jan 17 @ 8:29PM  
You tell em girl!!!!
bchill

Jan 17 @ 8:32PM  
WHO PISSED IN YOUR KOOL-AID? THAT'S WHY HILLARY CLINTON DOESN'T NEED TO BE PRESIDENT. AND CAN YOU SEND ME SOME OF THOSE PICS I CAN'T AFFORD TO SEE?
ONE
borachone

Jan 17 @ 8:37PM  
All things considered (and read I did gradiate thurd grade) Wanna fuck?
lunanegra

Jan 17 @ 9:06PM  
bchill,no need for the misogynistic e-shouting...geez criminy
pssylvr

Jan 17 @ 9:14PM  
Thats not what Ive been hearing !!!!!
kozmik_wave

Jan 17 @ 9:17PM  
no worries, it surely wasn't me...first and last time i looked at your profile was just now
youngm22

Jan 17 @ 10:17PM  
hmmmm you joined an adult website that includes every sleezebag,pervert,and desperate man across the united states and are mad because you get dumbass guys messageing you thinking that they will bang you if they give a time,location and a picture of a penis in there profile HI! my names common sense have we met yet?
ladybootscooter

Jan 17 @ 11:56PM  
You tell 'em Hop! The only problem with all this is, if they don't take time to read your profile they won't read your blog either, but I hell I understand, sometimes ya just gotta rant to feel better!
dmbradley1978854

Jan 18 @ 12:03AM  
You lost me!!! LOL......

I understand.
mrknowuwell

Jan 18 @ 12:47AM  
u had me at HELLO
buatbu

Jan 18 @ 4:50PM  
Have you gotten Tony's book yet????
randy25401

Jan 26 @ 7:38PM  
since i just read and seen that you don't list your actual location....or do you?
just curious if i was closer that i thought...
jcarolina

Mar 9 @ 12:08AM  
I know you're not just some road whore with no self-esteem. Some people just enjoy sex more than others. That doesn't mean you're a skanky slut, and I will defend your honor at all turns.


Speaking of turns, when do I get mine?

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Spreading My Legs and Spewing Goo!!!