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Paging Mr. Johnson

posted 10/23/2006 3:46:30 PM |
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I think I’m going to make some enemies here, but so be it.

Until this last month, I’d been out of the dating scene for many years. In a relationship and completely monogamous. But before that, I had dabbled in the waters of wooing the opposite sex. Not without some successes, I might add. And here we reach the topic of this discussion.

Li’l Bren, I hereby freely admit, ain’t no horse choker. He’s just an average little gopher, but he’s dedicated and he usually gets the job done so long as he’s properly employed and given the necessary support. Nobody’s ever laughed out loud when he poked his head up, and he’s even earned the occasional accolade. But he was never an opening act.

Because li’l Bren was never allowed to make the introductions, I can, now that I’m older and entering that age where past conquests flutter through my mind from time to time, look back and feel good about my “conquests”. The quotes are there because I don’t really keep score in quite that way, and because I was occasionally the conquered.

I can look back with pride, knowing that the various ladies I had relationships with over the years cared for me because I was me. Because of who I’d made myself, because of what I’d done and what I did for them.

I wonder if I’d be able to look back with the same contentment if I’d been overly endowed? Would I have been tempted to take shortcuts? To ride in on Mr Johnson, as it were, wearing the tight jeans and highlighting my credentials at the expense of ardent pursuit? Would I have pursued the alternate pleasures I have come to enjoy so greatly if romance simply involved spitting my lover like a rotisserie turkey, giving her a spin and moving on to the next conquest while I marked another tick on the shaft with indelible marker? I’d like to think I wouldn’t stoop so low, but who can say, really?

And if I succumbed to the temptation? Would I, in the end, even respect myself? I don’t think so. It’s hard to respect anybody who rides their entire life on an accident of nature. It’s hard to look back on your life and see what you’ve gained and have to know that YOU hadn’t really done anything to deserve it. You’d merely been the stand upon which the true hero of your life had been rooted. How empty a life is that?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not falling into the trap of the large busted blonde bashers who automatically assume that a buxom lady with pale hair is brainless and getting by on her cleavage. I’ve known far too many well developed blondes who were also seriously intelligent, caring, and generally wonderful people to know.

Nor am I suggesting that every well-hung guy is a thoughtless, overly crude, asshole. People are people, differing one from the other in spite of physical endowment as much as because of it. I’m sure that there are many many gentlemen who keep Mr Johnson quiet until the chase is done, saving him as a delightful surprise for their lucky partners well after the decision has been made by both participants.

The targets of my pity are those guys who’ve invested their entire self image in the handsomeness and prominence of Mr Johnson. The guys who wave him around like a flag, demanding “Looky here! Looky here! Big dick, climb aboard!” Is that all they have to offer? Or are they content with the type of lady who only looks for that? I wonder. I mean, it isn’t like such ladies can’t purchase items that beggar even the most mutantly endowed man on earth.

Sure, I can hear them now....”Yeah, but not only is it big, but I can USE it too!” Good for you! So why don’t you concentrate on THAT? Get the lady interested and then spring the bonus on her once she’s already chosen you? She’ll enjoy it more for the surprise. Hey, you might enjoy it more yourself!

The profiles I see--good lord, some times in my “who’s viewing me” box now that I’ve started posting blogs--which feature an enormous schlong and nothing else make me wonder what’s behind letting that head do the introductions. Like maybe the other head might not be cuttin’ it. And that’s a shame.

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Blogs by Strider683:
Th' Y
Paging Mr. Johnson
Self image and exercise partners
Secrets and surprising answers


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Oct 23 @ 4:05PM  
You are correct in saying that you cannot make a blanket statement there. I have known well endowed men who were fabulous lovers and others who were pigs. Same goes for lesser endowments.

In my experience though, the better looking the person, whether it be male or female the less likely they are to actually try to impress or maybe that is the wrong word.. to try let's leave it at that. Why is this? perhaps because they have never HAD to try, they were flocked to simply because they were 'blessed' with exterior beauty. No this does not apply to all beautiful people, only some.

Another great blog btw!

Oct 23 @ 4:35PM  
Definitely food for thought. Nicely done. I'm in agreement with you & Ponme. It is a shame that there are many out there that keep us from getting to know them by virtue of what and how they choose to post. I'm guilty of writing off those that have a penis as their profile picture. Is that wrong? Perhaps. But I am who I am. They are who they are. Doubtful that my posting will change them. Perhaps it will change me though.

Oct 23 @ 5:13PM  
I think I’m going to make some enemies here, but so be it.

Your enemies and mine are probobly going to be one and the same.... I think they are out gunned in both words and wit... welcome to the battle!

Oct 23 @ 5:41PM  
I have learned from experience that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and is sometimes only skin deep. You have some valid point here. i like to look below the surface to find the beauty within. I would have missed out on some awesome people had i only gone by what's on the outside.

Oct 23 @ 7:23PM  
First of all, let me tell you I love reading your blogs and hope you continue to write many more. I totally agree that what's on the "inside" of a person is much more important than the "outside package", no matter how it is presented.

Without digressing back to what pictures people choose to post (oh well what the hell here goes), we are a visual society-there is no doubt about it. I for one enjoy looking at all the different pictures. We each have our own preferences of what we like to see and the decision of what pic we post is a part of our personality. The ones that are risqué... well this is an "adult" site and part of the reason we are here, isn't it? That's the main difference of this MD from the other MD, right?

I love Reily's pic of him sitting demurely in a lawn chair with a lei around his neck... yes he's a shy guy (and part of his allure) but still waters can run deep. Ynot's bold penis shot let's everyone know he's his own man-a witty, easy going flirt yet confident of the person he is. Yes, granted some of the penis shots are funny but that's what makes it so great. The pics, the profiles, they are all so different and that is an integral part of this place.

I try not to pigeon-hole people and keep an open mind. It wasn't always so and I would have never thought of posting the pic I have a year ago. But I've spent most of my 50 years safely cocooned in Midwestern values (mostly of my own choosing) and I thoroughly enjoy the opportunity for the diversity that this site offers. There are some sexy, creative, intelligent, and witty people here on AMD and they come from all walks of life. I for one, will continue to enjoy and learn from these interactions.

PS... Strider don't look at my new pic if this one offends you! *grinning* (sorry, just couldn't resist)

Oct 23 @ 10:49PM  

None of your pics offend me, girly girl! I can't really say I'm offended by any of them, even the gumby schlong pics or the blatant misty grotto shots. As has been mentioned, this is an adult site. And while I don't particularly care to gaze upon the primary attributes of other men, who am I to begrudge the ladies? Although, be warned. If I'm ever coaxed by unscrupulous ladies to post one, it'll probably have Mr Potato head arms and eyes on it.

My beef (you should pardon the pun ) is in using crotch shots as your primary calling card. Use something else as a primary, and if you want to advertise your endowments, stick additional shots inside where the folks who want to can see them and the folks who don't won't. Dare I brandish the word "courtesy"?

I don't put your avatar in that class, though. Perhaps I'm a hypocrite, but I don't really see breasts as sexual organs.

I've just deleted an entire dissertation on the difference between breasts and vaginas in modern society. Do I really need to post that? It IS an adult site, and you should all have already figured this out.

Oct 23 @ 11:52PM  
ynot add more food for thought..yup a pun....but i just tried and tried and tried but to no avail...sooo as ya'll know i gota just be me....
I don't put your avatar in that class, though. Perhaps I'm a hypocrite, but I don't really see breasts as sexual organs.

FYI...ANYBODY ever gone to a nudist camp? nude beach? anything like it will know n understand that NUDITY isn't sexual...not untill the mind makes it sexual...sooo none should matter in a pic...if its found offensive it probably means someone is in the wrong place's an adult site wich has been beaten like the proverba dead horse but damn.....what would one EXPECT? now i signed on here thinkin it was a big joke....little did i know months later i'd find REAL PEOPLE .....BUT even when i started it said adult..sooo duhh...led to the pic i chose....and for's up n there it be...for those that don't like it..umm don't read my profile..if that's not good enough...umm maybe you need to rethink weather or not your on the right is a perfectly wonderfull place for a little more cotroled my 5cents

Oct 24 @ 12:22AM  
No, nudity in and of itself is not sexual. But a boner?

Oct 24 @ 7:58AM  
I don't put your avatar in that class, though. Perhaps I'm a hypocrite, but I don't really see breasts as sexual organs.

I've got about 350 emails that would tell you differently.

And while I don't particularly care to gaze upon the primary attributes of other men, who am I to begrudge the ladies?

Thank you... now where's Mr. Potatoe Head?

Oct 25 @ 7:01PM  
Once again...another great blog! Thanks Strider...maybe they'll start listening to are one of the good ones!

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Paging Mr. Johnson