AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

UPS Pilot notes....are still funny!

posted 1/11/2008 11:21:27 PM |
2 kudosgive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
tagged: funny

Too Funny Not To Share!!!!!

UPS Pilot Notes

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high
school diploma to fix one.
Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then
pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it
said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots
(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by
maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by onehornytoad69:
Web Cams
Damn I'm Horny!!!
I'm Back.....and the reason why I Left!
Saying No.....
My SEXXXXX Blog Part 1-99 no-contest!
Have You ever been busted?
Whats today?
What Makes You............
Who is with who!
What would you do?
The Weather
UPS Pilot notes....are still funny!
These should make you Ladies Smile! lol


post a comment!


Jan 11 @ 11:33PM  

Jan 11 @ 11:38PM  
have gottin this one in emails... love it... thanks...

Jan 12 @ 12:44AM  
Good one toad.

Jan 12 @ 2:27AM  

Very nice my friend

Jan 12 @ 4:21AM  
I've received/read/spread/heard these dozens of times...

Gets better each time. A green thingy, even.

Jan 12 @ 12:48PM  

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2016 Online Singles, LLC.
UPS Pilot notes....are still funny!