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6 toes are better than 5

posted 1/11/2008 9:09:20 PM |
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tagged: humor, satire, straddle
  StraddleMyNose

As many of you know our good friend Tammy is leaving Ohio to back home to Minnesota, her home state. Kim and I are going to miss having her around, but we understand it's what she wants and probably for the best. Of course we wish her our best and happiness in her new chapter in life.

Now, I know this county in Ohio isn't the best, and there isn't a whole lot of anything here. But here are some good quality things about this county in Ohio. We probably have the one and only shoe store in America here that specializes in wide shoes made for 6 toes on both feet. This shoe store is called "6 Toes Are Better Than 5". Seems like ever since they went into business over 50 years ago they have been a success among the small businesses in this area. Believe it or not many people here have 6 toes on each foot. Some think it's because of possible embreeding here, while others feel there's something in the water (Ohio River) that's caused a third of the county's population to have 6 toes on each foot.

Another good quality we have are the murals that's part of a floodwall in downtown Portsmouth. Each mural tells it's own story with a picture of the areas rich history. Recently divers discovered a big bolder rock in the Ohio river (closer to the Ohio side) that the Shawnee Indians used as part of a mound back over a century ago. It was pulled up with a huge crane and put outside of the county court house as part of the place's rich history. Currently a lawsuit has been filed by Kentucky (since they own the river) to recover the bolder rock so they can put it back in the same spot it's been over a century ago.

Here are some things that aren't going well for our county.....

This county out of the 88 counties in Ohio ranks second in poverty in the state I think.

I believe it ranks in the top 6 in unemployment in the state.

This county has one of the highest taxes for counties in the state.

This place is both a college town and a retirement town. There's nothing here for people between the ages of 22- 65 I feel.

Did I mention the water? Don't drink the water.

But on a positive note, this county may be across the river from Kentucky, at least it doesn't border close to West Virginia.

Disclaimer: Some of what I said is true, while other parts aren't in this blog!


*This is from the heart* So Tammy, it's really not all that bad here..... okay, yes it is, and we're all going to miss you here. But like I stated earlier in this blog, it's probably for the best I'm sure you will thrive more in Minnesota. Best wishes to you my friend, and we're always going to be friends.

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Comments:

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alybai42

Jan 11 @ 9:19PM  
Thanks Shawn

Where is this shoe store? I never heard of it..And did you know I didn't know there was a lake near us that you can swim in until this past summer...Imagine..Mn has 10,000 lakes and this area has two...

I will admit I like the weather better until Summer hits..Good thing I knew people with pools..

I grew up in the woods...Camping, fishing, boating, swimming...Being eaten by mosquitoes...You can't do that here...I sure would not go on the Ohio river..The cat fish scare me

It is time..Time to go home..Where the air is cleaner and you can drink the water..

Damn now I need to buy snow boots...
StraddleMyNose

online now!
Jan 11 @ 9:24PM  
The shoe store part was the only thing I made up in this blog. (including a third of the people here being embred...not sure what the actual number is on that. )


OMG, I can't believe you thought there was such a store. lol


Everything else is true in the blog.
alybai42

Jan 11 @ 9:28PM  
You just never know around this area...
alybai42

Jan 11 @ 9:33PM  
I watch people over near me build big beautiful homes...And a few months later they are for sale..I always wondered how they paid for them with no jobs here..Unless they are dealing drugs
StraddleMyNose

online now!
Jan 11 @ 9:46PM  
You're right, ya never know about this place.
Ewe_Wish

Jan 11 @ 10:21PM  
But on a positive note, this county may be across the river from Kentucky, at least it doesn't border close to West Virginia.
No unfortunately, my county does..........



Lisa46

Jan 11 @ 10:48PM  
yes Tammy we will miss you luckily for me i can still can you on the weekends

Ummm shawn did I ever tell you I was born and raised in Ohio??
ksk72

Jan 11 @ 11:03PM  
Did I mention the water? Don't drink the water

Thats not a lie. I have never seen water change color as often as it does here

Tammy... you better keep in touch

LilGriz

Jan 11 @ 11:34PM  
Well Tammy, looks like it's almost time to hit Fleet Farm. I don't know though, I think those darn mosquitos mutated somewhere, as they have seemed to get bigger. Saw one trying to hump a VW one time All places of our wonderful country have their good and bad points.
alybai42

Jan 11 @ 11:59PM  
All places of our wonderful country have their good and bad points.


I said something like that to someone earlier today


I am not leaving AMD..I am leaving Ohio..And you guys are all going to MN with me. Dress Warm
LilGriz

Jan 12 @ 12:10AM  
Hey Tammy, I'm already here and been to the Mans Mall recently. You are just leaving one location for another, but these guys will still be here.

Shawn, for a moment I thought you were referring to Mason Shoes, as they advertise for the hard to fit person.
canuhelpme258

Jan 22 @ 4:54PM  
Is you all pickin on us southernfied folks aaagain?

I'mma count to 12 on all muh fingers you all best be runnin skert I'mma load both barrels!

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6 toes are better than 5