lyrics by: Robert D. Brooks
parody of: "The Slinky Song" ad jingle of the 1950's and 60's
What rolls down stairs?
Alone or in pairs?
And, makes a buzz-ity sound?
It's long - a schlong - a marvelous dong!
Everyone knows - it's dildo!
What fits in a sock?
Feels better than cock?
And, unlike a man, it's slow
It vibrates a bit
Feels great on your clit
Everyone knows - it's dildo!
It's Dildo! It's Dildo!
It's big - it's fleshy - it's ribbed
It's Dildo! It's Dildo!
Yes, that's right, it's ribbed
What fits in your crack?
Some even have sac's?
The penis you don't have to blow
They're not just for gays
They use double-a's (AA's)
Everyone knows - it's dildo!
A dildo-dog. A dildo-plane.
Many more vibrating toys
You turn the knob - they buzz and throb
Feels great in girls and boys!
What makes you cum?
And, fits in your bum?
Some of them even can glow!
A dink! A dink! In marvelous pink!
Everyone knows - it's dildo!
A long fleshy tube
Use oil-based lube
Not just for the neighbourhood ho's
For a Girl on the go
With no time for a beau
It makes for the perfect fellow
They're dildoes! They're dildoes!
The sex toys that everyone likes!
They're dildoes! They're dildoes!
For gay men and even for dykes!
Disclaimer:
Some dildoes not exactly as shown. Batteries not included. Not to be used as a flotation device. Some animal testing has occurred. Please use a lubricant. Insert rounded end first. Not for use in the shower. May cause choking if used improperly. Vaginal flatulence may ensue. If swallowed, do not induce vomiting. Discontinue use if irritation or abnormal swelling occur. May induce labour in pregnant women. Dill-Dough Brand Dildoes have caused cancer in some laboratory animals. Do not use excessive force while inserting dildo. May explode if placed in fire. Dill-Dough Brand Dildoes are not intended to replace the male sexual organ - only as a temporary substitute when a penis is not readily available...
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