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Headlines of 2007

posted 1/10/2008 11:52:51 AM |
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  ABrownEyedScorpio

I had this waiting in my mail...hope it gives you a good laugh as it did me.



THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2007:

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
[Imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead







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Comments:

post a comment!

DarkDesires99

Jan 10 @ 12:04PM  
The Print Media a source of enlightenment.
Ok then!

Lisa46

Jan 10 @ 12:05PM  
okay the typhoon won!

told ya people are stupid you just never listen to me????
max49

Jan 10 @ 12:19PM  
JamalLewis

Jan 10 @ 4:53PM  
hahahaha who comes up with this stuff?
StraddleMyNose

Jan 10 @ 5:18PM  
aspiringwriter

Jan 11 @ 1:54AM  


My vote goes to "Kids Make Nutritious Snacks", personally.

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Headlines of 2007